“When you keep criticizing your kids, they don’t stop loving you, they stop loving themselves…”
When a Disordered Individual, like a Malignant Narcissist, had entered into your life and tried to damage and even destroy you, great emotional trauma could develop in your life. I believe that one should seek Medical help/counseling for the Trauma. In addition, I believe that being inspired by those who had overcome major life challenges may help. In that vein I’m posting this link to Sonnia Riccoti’s movie titled Unsinkable. Once you have gone No Contact with the life destroying Narcissist, you can try to rebuild your life and your state of mind. That is where this movie can be of inspiration…
The presenter of this video discusses his personal experience with Narcissist Emotional Manipulation and Abuse! To hear someone else discuss their experience with a Narcissist can be cathartic, in that you can see and hear that what happened to you was never your fault.
You were not to blame. You were a targeted victim.
Video is courtesy of the Farrah Voss YouTube channel
Flying Monkeys or Agents of the Narcissist are not often discussed. These Agents support the Narcissist and can follow orders given by the Narcissist. Flying Monkeys or Agents of a Narcissist can be very well versed in GasLighting in support of the Narcissists’s wants. They can be dangerous as they can try to be your friend but their agenda is run by the Narcissist.
Video is courtesy of the Dr. Todd Grande YouTube channel
This video brings forward an interesting point, that Narcissists have a need to be in the physical presence of their Targets. Pretending to be “oh so special” over the phone or via email does not cut it. Narcissists need to be in the physical presence of those whom they target.
That is also a defining difference between say a rather Malignant Narcissist and a Psychopath. Both share many traits, yet a Psychopath does not need to spend time with their target.
A Narcissist gets Narcissistic Supply by being in the physical presence of their Target. That is a Red Flag to watch for. Narcissists will also try to isolate their Target, so that the Target does not spend any time being physically away with family or friends. Trying to Isolate the Target/Victim is a Major Red Flag.
Even in a work environment, a malignant Narcissist who plays Lord over the office will consistently call pointless meetings just so that they could be in the physical presence of their target(s). Psychopaths do not have this form of insecurity.
Video courtesy of the Permission To Exist YouTube Channel
Watch for this Red Flag.
Narcissists get their Narcissistic Supply by being in the physical presence of their Target/Victim.
This is not a typical post about Narcissists and their behavior. There is a commonality, in that the actions traumatized the victims. The techniques used seem similar. The use of online dating sites to find Victims. Love bombing to get his target to go out on a Dinner Date. Callous disregard of any psychological damage or embarrassment his action would cause. No empathy for his victims. One of the Victims described the Dinner Discussion as being all about him.
Video is courtesy of the Inside Edition website.
I wonder if this could be a Red Flag to watch for: a Long Rectangular Face and a large amount of forehead about the eyebrows. Look at the photos of Paul Gonzales in the Daily Beast article.
Click on this link to visit The Sun news website to read their news post titled: “ACID HORROR Woman who was scarred for life when her ex-boyfriend hired a hitman to throw acid on her recalls watching her skin ‘drip to the floor“.
Edmundo Fonseca, who threw the acid was told to throw it at her face. He did not. He also said “Sorry” before throwing the acid on Ellie Chessell’s body. In court he stated that he was deceived, because he was told that it was urine which he was to throw.
Ellie’s Ex-Boyfriend Claudio Gouveia, had hired Edmundo to throw the acid after Ellie left the two-year old relationship. She went Go No Contact to the point of moving to a different city. Unfortunately her Ex-Boyfriend had refused to give Ellie her laptop and cell phone. She believes that he was able to track her down and monitor her using the cell phone.
Video is courtesy of The Morning YouTube channel
Please be careful out there. Ellie took the best option by trying to Go No Contact. Disordered Individuals can attack when they lose their source of Narcissistic Supply. If there was any violence during the relationship, please speak to your local Law Enforcement, even if you had not reported the violence when it had happened.
At least in this case the Ex-Boyfriend Claudio Gouveia was charged and convicted with Attempted Murder and was sentenced to 12 years in jail.
Ellie stated she now suffers from PTSD and is getting treatment. He body will be forever scarred. Thankfully the acid was not thrown directly in her face.
If you decide to Go No Contact, then be prepared to Expect the Unexpected from the Narcissist.
In a healthy relationship, partners naturally try to be there for each other. In the mind of a Disordered Individual, you are there to serve their own needs and your needs do not matter.
In a healthy relationship there can be Open Dialogue between the two partners. In a relationship with a Disordered Individual their monologue is what is important. They do NOT care to listen to what you have to say.
I came across a great article which discusses what I would call 8 Red Flags to watch out for.