Judy Malinowski was set on fire by ex-boyfriend

I Never knew that a Human Being could be so evil“. He had doused her with gasoline and set her on fire. Then he stood there and did nothing.

 

Judy Malinowski left a message for others: “Verbal abuse is the start of physical abuse“.

 

Take a good look at Judy, in the video below. Just think, it could be you in that Hospital Bed fighting for your life. Watch for any Red Flags. Going NO Contact may protect you. There are Disordered individuals out there, who will set you on fire and stand there and just watch you suffer and burn. Such persons have no Empathy for the pain and suffering of others. Is that the type of person one would want to have a relationship with?

 

Video is courtesy of the NBC4 WCMH-TV Columbus YouTube Channel

 

PLEASE be CAREFUL,
who you let into your life
.

Watch for the Red Flags
of Disordered Individuals.

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Libres Del Narcisista is a really good Spanish blog, about Narcissists

 

Came across a really good Spanish blog about Narcissists.

Click on the following link
to visit Libres Del Narcisista

Insights into Narcissistic Love Bombing

Good insights into the Narcissistic Love Bombing. The one key to remember is that Narcissists “know what they are doing”.

Love Bombing shuts down your internal “Alarm System”, which could warn you that there is something very wrong with what is happening.

Video is courtesy of the Inner Integration YouTube channel

Infant and Childhood Trauma help to create Narcissists and Psychopaths

This video is courtesy of the Cultura Colectiva Facebook page.

IMHO Infant and Childhood Trauma change the way the Brains of Narcissits and Psychopaths end up becoming hard wired. Brain scans have confirmed that their Brains are wired differently.

The video below provides some insight into the Infant Trauma caused when a baby starts crying, but does not get any help or attention. When such Trauma occurs over and over, that infant’s brain gets wired differently. When that infant becomes an adult, that adult will behave differently. Rather insightful video.

Please click on the link below. It will open a new Browser window and display the video. For some reason I have never been able to get Facebook videos to work like the videos on YouTube always do.

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fculturacolectivaplus%2Fvideos%2F2077317248952394%2F&show_text=0&width=476

Warning Signs and Red Flags that he is a Narcissist

Derrick Jaxn describes the Warning Signs and Red Flags which you will encounter, when in a relationship with a Narcissist. Always watch for such Red Flags.

If the Warning Signs are persisistent, you may want to seriously consider Going No Contact. Staying with a Narcissist will allow the Narcissist to continue to attack and destroy YOU and if given the opportunity, they will.

Video is courtesy of the Derrick Jaxn YouTube channel

Why you fell in Love with a Narcissist

A really good video, which explains how you became attached to your Narcissist.


Video is courtesy of the Balance Psychologies YouTube channel

Charming Narcissists are the most dangerous

 

Charming Narcissists are the most dangerous.

Yes, even more dangerous than a Malignant Narcissist.

A Charming Narcisist will suck you in, with their charm and huge tooth filled smile. A friend of mine described one to be much like a Spider. Once they trap you in their web, they will feed off you.

A Malignant Narcissist on the other hand, does not care what impression they are making. All they care about is getting their way or what they want. Much easier to pick out and stay away from. No Contact works best,  if you can.

Dr. George Simon has written another great post about Charming Narcissists. In the past I had been targeted and fell into the web created by more than one Charming Narcissist. Thankfully I now know what to look for. Knowledge is the Key.

I have watched a major Narcissist target and mirror someone while there were many others around. No one picked up on the fact that the Narc was Mirroring. It was blatent, and in plain sight. The body position of the narc was dramatically and quickly changed to match the body position of the prey. Hands and arms postions were mirrored. Once positioned the Narc turned on the Charm, pretending to care. The only person that Narcissists care about are themselves. Because it was so blatant, it stands out in my mind.

Click on the following link to visit Dr. George Simon’s website to read his superb article titled
“Charming Narcissists Manipulate Well”

Click on the following link to visit the Psychology Today website to read their post by Nina W. Brown Ed.D, titled
“Beware the Charming Narcissist
How you get sucked in.”

Understanding Manipulation Tactics by Dr. George Simon

Understanding Manipulation Tactics.

Dr. George Simon was a past President of the Arkansas Psychological Association, and is a Board Certified Diplomate in Forensic and Clinical Psychology. Before retiring, Dr George Simon was a supervising psychologist for the Arkansas Dept. of Correction. You could correctly say that he is an Expert on the behaviour of Narcissists and Psychopaths. In his private practice he helped individuals trapped in relationships with personality disordered individuals.


Video is courtesy of the George Simon YouTube Channel


Video is courtesy of the George Simon YouTube Channel

When dealing with Narcissists, knowledge is power. When you know what behaviours to watch for, you can learn to pickout Narcissitic individuals. You may get a glimpse of what  may lay behind their mask.

Knowledge may help to prevent you from
becoming their next prey.

Use of Medical Cannabis for PTSD Symptoms

“Anecdotal evidence says by and large the use of Therapeutic Cannabis provides a significant improvement in quality of life both for those suffering from (PTSD) and for their family and friends.”

A very interesting article was written by Raphael Mechoulam, Ph.D. It was titled “General use of Cannabis for PTSD Symptoms“. Click on this link to visit the http://veteransformedicalmarijuana.org website to read the article.

Treating PTSD with Medical Cannabis by Dr. Sue Sisley

More American Vets have died after returning home and then suffering with PTSD and Complex PTSD, than have died on the battlefields of recent U.S. Wars. Suicide is not uncommon.

PTSD and Complex PTSD is not a burden that just returning American Vets have to deal with. Victims of Narcissistic Abuse could also become afflicted with PTSD and Complex PTSD.

The legalization of Medical Cannabis is removing the stigma of using Cannabis, a naturally occurring plant,  as part of a Medical Treatment. Medical Cannabis may become a recommended treatment for PTSD and Complex PTSD. It has been used successfully by individuals, but because it was “illegal”, Researchers in the past could not do Medical Studies using Cannabis as a treatment protocol.

The FDA may approve a Research Study using Medical Cannabis but the Researchers must get the Cannabis from another agency named NIDA, which controls the one single U.S. Government source of Medical Cannabis. NIDA (National Institute on Drug Abuse) can put a full stop to any FDA approved Study using Medical Cannabis. Hence, in the US there have been precious few Medical Studies on the benefits of Medical Cannabis as a treatment. There are huge numbers of personal accounts of Cannabis being used to successfully treat for example Brain Cancer, Leukemia and PTSD. But the real life truth is called Anecdotal Evidence, which has little value to Government agencies which look for Peer Reviewed Medical Studies which could not be done because Government agencies had Cannabis officially classified as being illegal.

In the video below, Dr. Sue Sisley speaks about Treating PTSD with Medical Cannabis.

 Video is courtesy of the Cannabis Saves Lives! YouTube channel

Quote “Don’t let people treat you like a cigarette, they only use you when they’re bored and step on you when they’re done.” by Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day

Came across an awesome quote from Billie Joe Armstrong of the band Green Day:Don’t let people treat you like a cigarette, they only use you when they’re bored and step on you when they’re done.”.

Quote

 

 

Above “Photo JPeg” Copyright 2017 https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com
Feel free to share under Creative Common License Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International. I make absolutely no claims to Billie Joe Armstrong’s awesome words.

Just place your mouse cursor on the image. Then right Click and then choose Save Image As. Then share it on other Non-Commercial websites and blogs.

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Transcending addiction and redefining recovery by Jacki Hillios

Phoenix Multisport’s Director of Research and Evaluation, Jacki Hillios, PhD, discusses the importance of connecting with others and being with others to help one to overcome any Addiction which they are suffering from. Jacki Hillios ideas go well with the results of the Rat Park Experiment.

This video and Rat Park videos in my opinion apply to those human beings who have suffered by being in Mentally and or Physically abusive relationships. In my opinion,  they may have developed an “Addiction” to their Abuser. As with other forms, Addiction is very hard to overcome especially when the Victim of Abuse is all alone with no money and no support system. They are unable to leave their Abuser. Some call it Trauma Bonding and Stockholm Syndrome.

The key part of the approach mentioned by Jacki is to keep the Addicts involved doing things with other humans (whether the others are Addicts or not). The connections that they build stop the need to replace the lack of connection with a drug. Highly Addicted Rats became un-addicted when they were placed in a Rat Park Environment. They connected with others of their own kind. They had things to do together. Exactly the same core things which Jacki Hillios mentioned in her TEDx Talk.

Moving to a different city or country, the Victims in Abusive Relationships leave behind friends, family and even co-workers. They become isolated. The Abuser will instill the fear to not mention the abuse to others. They have no one to talk to. They have no one who cares enough to help them. They are alone and so could become  stuck and unable to leave their abuser.

Video is courtesy of the TEDX Talks YouTube channel

Quote “In order to feel connected, you need to be Seen, Heard and Valued” by Baya Voce

Quote

Quote: “In order to feel connected, you need to be Seen, Heard and Valued” by Baya Voce

Copyright 2017 https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com
Feel free to share under Creative Common License Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International.

Place your mouse cursor on the image. Then right Click and then choose Save Image As.

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

The Simple Cure for Loneliness by Baya Voce

TEDX Talks in Salt Lake City featured a presentation of The Simple Cure for Loneliness by Baya Voce

Video is courtesy of the TEDx Talks YouTube channel

Click on this link to visit The Singju Post to read the Transcript of the Baya Voce’s TEDx presentation “The Simple Cure for Loneliness”.

Click on this link to visit the the official website of Baya Voce.

Click on this link to visit the official facebook page of Baya Voce.

The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins

Mel Robbins presents a way to interrupt the negative thought patterns that have become encoded in one’s brain (via repetition) and have become “habitual”. Once you interrupt an embedded habit, you could also use the interrupt to trigger a new positive thought and behavior pattern. Rinse and repeat cycle to embed that new and more positive habit.

After ending a negative and abusive relationship one could be filled with anxiety and self doubt. Repeating a thought process helps it to become automatic. The Mel Robbins 5 Second Rule could help one to break negative habits and establish new and more positive habits on the journey to recovery.

At first, I thought that her rule seemed too simplistic. I decided to try the Mel Robbins  5 Second Rule. I was surprised that it worked for me.

Self-doubt is a dream-killer.
The Mel Robbins 5 Second Rule
could help you end it.

Video is courtesy of the Mel Robbins YouTube channel

The results of the Rat Park Experiment, could apply to Victims of Relationship Abuse

Updated yet again on Apr 28 2017.

 

Stockholm Syndrome (Trauma Bonding) is said to keep those being abused, in the abusive relationship. They cannot leave their abuser.

I am posting this because I believe there is something to learn from the Rat Cage / Rat Park experiments.

I believe that victims of relationship abuse are stuck in the equivalent of an empty Rat Cage. They feel alone and not connected to anyone who cares about them. They may have been isolated from Family and Friends by physically moving to a different city. Abusers instinctively seem to know that if they can isolate someone, then they can control them and physically or mentally abuse them without outside interference. Again without a support structure, the victim is alone as in the isolated Rat Cage.

The drug in this scenario is the Abuser. Just as Rats isolated in a Rat Cage became addicted, so do the Abuse Victims. If the Victim does leave, then they could suffer from PTSD or worse. They will constantly think about the Abuser and often return to their Abuser, even after horrific physical abuse. In my opinion, this is highly similar to addiction.

Further proof of this concept comes from the same Rat Cage / Rat Park experiment. When the isolated and heavily addicted rats are moved out of an isolated environment into a Rat Park with lots of other rats and lots of stimulating things to do and play with, they lose their addiction.

Going further, Victims of abuse need to move into a Rat Park environment. They need to be among people who care. Friends and family who will morally support them. They need to also have fun. Being abused is “NOT FUN”. I suspect that once the victim is moved into a Rat Park type environment, then their addiction to the abuser could dissipate without symptoms of PTSD etc.

That brings up the lack of such a Rat Park environment for Abuse Victims. They should be surrounded by people who care, people who will try to help them. People who will talk to them. One common theme from Victims going thru forms of Therapy is that they cry their eyes out during the therapy sessions. They have no one to talk to. They feel that no one cares. Like the Rats in the isolated Rat cage. The Rats become addicted to the point of destroying themselves. Victims become addicted to their Abuser. For many victims this addiction destroys them. In my opinion, the Rat Park experiment shows the need to create a Human equivalent of a Rat Park for Victims of Abuse, so that victims can end their “Addiction” to their Abuser.

We have Women’s Shelters filled with women seeking help but percentage wise rather few “Helpers”. We have Therapy, which costs money that the abuse Victim may not have. No money, equals No Help. We have Public Housing, but with long waiting lists. We have legal aid for people convicted of a crime, but Victims of Relationship Abuse may not “qualify”. Society has a disorienting and disconnected patchwork of supposed help and so Victims cannot get away. It may not just be Trauma Bonding which is holding them back. As a society, we do not have an all inclusive support system,  like a Rat Park human equivalent environment,  to help Abuse Victims if they want to leave their Abuser, Heal and Recover. So they remain “stuck” in Abusive Relationships.

I have received email comments suggesting that it may be the Victim’s lack of confidence to express their feeling that could be at fault. A Victim’s typical inability to establish and enforce clear boundaries is in my opinion, a Learned Survival Mechanism. During early childhood, we learn how to survive in our home environment. Some kids are lucky and are born into loving and caring families. Other kids are not so lucky and have to adapt and learn behaviors to survive. That applies to Disordered Individuals also. One’s early childhood helps to form the future Adult. The work of the late Alice Miller readily comes to mind. I have referred to Abysmal Parenting or the lack of Parenting as being the primary cause of adult dysfunction. Many a Narcissist was not raised by their Birth Mother for example. On the other hand, when a Victim is physically being beaten Black and Blue, IMHO clearly the Abuser is at fault and “not” the Victim.

Video is courtesy of the Alice Miller YouTube channel

There was a video posted here of an English couple. The Husband gave his wife a couple of black eyes one night. The Police showed up and his attitude was as if nothing wrong happened. He called out to his wife and asked if she wanted to speak to the Police. Thankfully the Police had body video recorders running.

I have a friend who was isolated to a different country by a very Disordered Individual. Once isolated, the abuse became physical. One time she was beaten so badly that she ended up being hospitalized for months.  It was not her inability to speak up for herself that is to blame. If you start to speak up for yourself to a very disordered individual, you could very well be beaten Black and Blue. IMHO the Abuser is at fault and they are totally responsible for their behavior. View the video in the link shown above. Getting two black eyes was not the Victim’s fault.

I believe that when one learns about the Red Flags and if one starts to see multiple Red Flags on a consistent basis then one is able to get a better idea of who one is interacting with. It has nothing to do with putting labels on people before they do anything wrong. If one does not take heed of those Red Flags and falls prey to an Abuser, then it’s too late. Yes, people are out there who abuse other people. Yes, there are people with Codependent Traits and lots of Empathy, who seem to be attracted to those who abuse. Those who will abuse others also seem to be rather attracted to those who have lots of Empathy and Codependent traits. People call someone an Abuser after they have abused someone. It is not a matter of innocent until proven guilty. They get called that label because they have abused their victim. All abuse is bad, but some abuse is horrific.

I’m posting this for everyone to think about it. The videos below give more details about Dr. Bruce Alexander and his Rat Park experiment. BTW that Rat Park experiment has been repeated many times, with the same results. So it has been scientifically proven.

Video is courtesy of the MinuteVideos YouTUbe channel

Video is courtesy of the Kurzgesagt – In a Nutshell YouTube channel

Video is courtesy of The Agenda with Steve Paikin YouTube channel

Quote “Real love requires respect, compassion, compromise and striving for what’s best for both of you. Real love empowers, not shatters.” by Rose Cora Perry

Post by Rose Cora Perry

Quote

Quote:Real love requires respect, compassion, compromise and striving for what’s best for both of you. Real love empowers, not shatters.” by Rose Cora Perry

Copyright © Rose Cora Perry.

“Away I Go” by Rose Cora Perry

Post graciously provided by Rose Cora Perry

Away I Goby Rose Cora Perry

Video courtesy of the Rose Cora Perry YouTube channel

My name is Rose Cora Perry and I’m a Canadian Singer/Songwriter. “Away I Go” is the first single off of my new critically-acclaimed album, “Onto the Floor” .

Uniquely Narcissistic approached me about featuring my track on their website because of its strong depiction of an unhealthy romantic relationship.

Both the lyrics and music video for my song are inspired by true events from my own life: a tragic tale of romance, betrayal and the music biz. I share my story with others as a means of relating through the universal power and language of music and also to provide others with hope that they too can overcome their struggles and become stronger from them.

All relationships are based on fulfilling fundamental needs such as companionship and a desire to share mutual interests but love never should be selfish, self-serving nor one-sided. One’s motivation for being in a relationship should never be to achieve certain aims or goals to the detriment of their partner.

Real love requires respect, compassion, compromise and striving for what’s best for both of you. Real love empowers not shatters.

Rose Cora Perry

www.rosecoraperry.com

Official site for the Canadian independent musician, journalist, photography model and social issues advocate. Creator of So You Wanna be in a Rock Band?, Call Me Old-Fashioned But… and Psych Your Mind. Owner of HER Media Group and MusicSaves. Former frontwoman for Anti-Hero and HER.

Click on this link to visit the Rose Cora Perry facebook page.

Click on this link to visit the Rose Cora Perry YouTube channel.

Click on this link to visit So You wanna be in a Rock band? facebook page.