Trauma in one’s life can lead to PTSD and attempts to destroy oneself

Trauma can have a lasting impact on Human Beings. US Soldiers returning home from the Middle East battles, bring with them the trauma of what happened during their Tour of Duty. Childhood Trauma can destroy the life a child could have had. The Trauma caused by a living with a disordered individual such as a Malignant Narcissist stays with the Victim long after the Narcissist has left seeking a new source of Narcissistic Supply.

The Trauma caused by a disordered individual also creates Trauma Bonding, making it extremely difficult for the Victim to leave a dysfunctional relationship.

Click on this line to view our prior posts about Trauma Bonding and Stockholm Syndrome.

I ran across this news clip and my heart sank. When Jessica Landon was a child, she was molested by a babysitter. A child is very vulnerable. They cannot fight off an abuser. The child knows what was done to them is wrong and can blame themselves for letting it happen, even though they had no way stop it.

The molestation created major Childhood Trauma, which has lasted well into this lady’s adult life. This is PTSD at it’s worst because she took actions which in my mind was an attempt to destroy herself.  I suspect that she had been too embarrassed to seek out a Licensed Therapist and get Psychological help and support. Instead she tried to ease the pain by using alcohol. Many Trauma victims turn to Drugs and or Alcohol to try and ease the pain.

Jessica Landon’s Childhood Trauma, essentially destroyed the life that Jessica could have had and should have had.

If you are dealing with Traumatic events in your past (or even in your recent present) please seek out the help of a Licensed Therapist (Psychiatrist or Psychologist) who is experienced with helping people deal with Trauma and PTSD. It is painful and very difficult. With the help of a Licensed Medical Professional(s) one can work to get a handle on the Trauma induced PTSD and prevent the attempt at self destruction via Drugs or Alcohol.

Click on this link to visit the SUN News website to read their heart breaking article titled:PLAYBOY TRAUMA – Playboy model, 37, drank vodka 24 hours a day that shut down her organs and rotted her skin in shocking spiral of booze addiction“.

On our Uniquely Narcissistic site in the top menu, is a box labeled “Find Licensed Therapists“. Clicking on that you will find posts by Licensed Therapist and posts on where and how to find a qualified Licensed Therapist. Click on this link to open our “FInd Licensed Therapist” page.

Please discuss with your Medical Professional(s) about the possible use of Medical Cannabis to help with the treatment of PTSD.

A very interesting article was written by Raphael Mechoulam, Ph.D. It was titled “General use of Cannabis for PTSD Symptoms“. Click on this link to visit the http://veteransformedicalmarijuana.org website to read the article.

In the video below, Dr. Sue Sisley speaks about Treating PTSD with Medical Cannabis.

 Video is courtesy of the Cannabis Saves Lives! YouTube channel

 

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Surviving the Narcissist. A personal experience of Narcissist Emotional Manipulation and Abuse!

The presenter of this video discusses his personal experience with Narcissist Emotional Manipulation and Abuse! To hear someone else discuss their experience with a Narcissist can be cathartic, in that you can see and hear that what happened to you was never your fault.

You were not to blame. You were a targeted victim.

 

Video is courtesy of the Farrah Voss YouTube channel

Flying Monkeys or Agents of a Narcissist

Flying Monkeys or Agents of the Narcissist are not often discussed. These Agents support the Narcissist and can follow orders given by the Narcissist. Flying Monkeys or Agents of a Narcissist can be very well versed in GasLighting in support of the Narcissists’s wants. They can be dangerous as they can try to be your friend but their agenda is run by the Narcissist.

 

Video is courtesy of the Dr. Todd Grande YouTube channel

Narcissists have a need to be in the physical presence of their Target.

This video brings forward an interesting point, that Narcissists have a need to be in the physical presence of their Targets. Pretending to be “oh so special” over the phone or via email does not cut it. Narcissists need to be in the physical presence of those whom they target.

That is also a defining difference between say a rather Malignant Narcissist and a Psychopath. Both share many traits, yet a Psychopath does not need to spend time with their target. 

A Narcissist gets Narcissistic Supply by being in the physical presence of their Target. That is a Red Flag to watch for. Narcissists will also try to isolate their Target, so that the Target does not spend any time being physically away with family or friends. Trying to Isolate the Target/Victim is a Major Red Flag.

Even in a work environment, a malignant Narcissist who plays Lord over the office will consistently call pointless meetings just so that they could be in the physical presence of their target(s). Psychopaths do not have this form of insecurity.

 

Video courtesy of the Permission To Exist YouTube Channel

Watch for this Red Flag.

Narcissists get their Narcissistic Supply by being in the physical presence of their Target/Victim. 

 

Paul Gonzales would invite his online dates to dinner. After eating he would disappear leaving his Date (Victim) to pay

This is not a typical post about Narcissists and their behavior. There is a commonality, in that the actions traumatized the victims. The techniques used seem similar. The use of online dating sites to find Victims. Love bombing to get his target to go out on a Dinner Date. Callous disregard of any psychological damage or embarrassment his action would cause. No empathy for his victims. One of the Victims described the Dinner Discussion as being all about him.

Click on this link to read the really good article on the Daily Beast website titled: “Paul Gonzales scammed his online dates into buying him expensive dinners. Then they made him pay..

 

Video is courtesy of the Inside Edition website.

I wonder if this could be a Red Flag to watch for: a Long Rectangular Face and a large amount of forehead about the eyebrows. Look at the photos of Paul Gonzales in the Daily Beast article.

 

 

Narcissistic Love Bombing. Don’t Get Fooled!

Narcissistic Love Bombing.
Don’t Get Fooled!

By Therapist: Shannon Petrovich LCSW

Video courtesy of the Therapist Talks YouTube channel

What is a Covert Narcissist?

What is a Covert Narcissist?

By Therapist: Shannon Petrovich LCSW

Video is courtesy of the Therapist Talks YouTube channel

Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Malignant Narcissists

Sociopaths,
Psychopaths,
and Malignant Narcissists.

By Therapist: Shannon Petrovich LCSW

Video courtesy of the Therapist Talks YouTube channel

A Malignant Narcissist and An Empathic Person equals A Tragically Perfect Match

A Malignant Narcissist
and An Empathic Person;
A Tragically Perfect Match.

By Therapist: Shannon Petrovich LCSW

Video is courtesy of the Therapist Talks YouTube channel

Narcissistic Supply; Don’t Be a Victim to the Vampire!

Narcissistic Supply.
Don’t Be a Victim to the Vampire!

By Therapist: Shannon Petrovich LCSW

Video is courtesy of the Therapist Talks YouTube channel

Trauma Bonding with a Narcissist or Other Abuser. 10 Strategies to Get Free!

This site had been setup to try and help, by being a resource of information. WordPress.com hosts this site for me, at no charge. The advertising on this site is put there by WordPress, to help cover some of their costs. Because the site is hosted by WordPress for free, I am not allowed to place any advertising .

I believe that if one is trying to help, then one should not try to gain some benefit from providing said help. I “know” the damage a Narcissist can do to an Empathetic Human Being. I have attracted Narcs all my life. Why? Because I care and will try to help others. I have crossed paths with all sorts of Narcissists. They share many of the Red Flags.

I bring this up because I feel that there is a decent foundation of information found on this site and as such I have not posted much this year. Looking for something else, I recently came across some incredible videos created by a Therapist about Narcissists and how to Deal with them. She created the videos to try to help. I was blown away.

She has her name on the videos, but does not have any contact info. She does not ask for anything. She does not ask people to send money to fund the video site (as more than a few people do). She did it because she cares and will get no personally benefit. She also states in each video to share the material so that others may be helped. 

I will start to share Shannon Petrovich’s videos on this site. I firmly believe that “Going No Contact” is the only viable solution. But, it is easier to type that, than actually Going No Contact. Trauma Bonding is very real. The Narcissist’s Victim has also likely been isolated from any form of support, from Family or Friends. Narcs will demand that you get their permission to meet with members of your Family or Friends. By keeping you isolated, makes it easier to “Totally Control” you. Being kept isolated deepens the Trauma Bonding, making it Very Very hard to Go No Contact. This video explains the situation.

Video is courtesy of the Therapist Talks YouTube channel.

Narcissists Do Not Love. They Hold Hostages!

Narcissists Do Not Love.

They Hold Hostages!

This quote by: Shannon Petrovich LCSW

Narcissists Do Not Love. They Hold Hostages! Quote by: Shannon Petrovich LCSW

Please feel free to share this “PNG” image file. In Windows, just place your cursor over the image above and then click your right mouse button. A menu will pop up. Next scroll your mouse cursor over the line “Save image as” to highlight it and then click the left mouse button. That will save the image file to your PC. You can then upload the image file, where you feel it might help others.

Divorcing the Narcissist – Full Seminar with Sam Vaknin, Sara Davison and Richard Grannon

Divorcing the Narcissist – Full Seminar

with Sam Vaknin, Sara Davison and Richard Grannon

Video is courtesy of the RICHARD GRANNON SPARTANLIFECOACH YouTube channel.

 

Ex-Boyfriend Arranged Acid Attack

Click on this link to visit The Sun news website to read their news post titled: “ACID HORROR Woman who was scarred for life when her ex-boyfriend hired a hitman to throw acid on her recalls watching her skin ‘drip to the floor“.

Edmundo Fonseca, who threw the acid was told to throw it at her face. He did not. He also said “Sorry” before throwing the acid on Ellie Chessell’s body. In court he stated that he was deceived, because he was told that it was urine which he was to throw.

Ellie’s Ex-Boyfriend Claudio Gouveia, had hired Edmundo to throw the acid after Ellie left the two-year old relationship. She went Go No Contact to the point of moving to a different city. Unfortunately her Ex-Boyfriend had refused to give Ellie her laptop and cell phone. She believes that he was able to track her down and monitor her using the cell phone.

Video is courtesy of The Morning YouTube channel

Please be careful out there. Ellie took the best option by trying to Go No Contact. Disordered Individuals can attack when they lose their source of Narcissistic Supply. If there was any violence during the relationship, please speak to your local Law Enforcement, even if you had not reported the violence when it had happened.

At least in this case the Ex-Boyfriend Claudio Gouveia was charged and convicted with Attempted Murder and was sentenced to 12 years in jail.

Ellie stated she now suffers from PTSD and is getting treatment. He body will be forever scarred. Thankfully the acid was not thrown directly in her face.

If you decide to Go No Contact, then be prepared to Expect the Unexpected from the Narcissist.

8 Red Flags to Watch for

In a healthy relationship, partners naturally try to be there for each other. In the mind of a Disordered Individual, you are there to serve their own needs and your needs do not matter.

In a healthy relationship there can be Open Dialogue between the two partners. In a relationship with a Disordered Individual their monologue is what is important. They do NOT care to listen to what you have to say.

I came across a great article which discusses what I would call 8 Red Flags to watch out for.

Click on this link to visit the Lessons Learned in Life website to read their article titled: “Watch out: If a Man Does These 8 Things, He Doesn’t Truly Value You“.

You’ll Never Survive Working for a Narcissistic Boss

The Optimum Talent website’s Optimum Talks Blog has a superb post by Frances Sardone, titled: “You’ll Never Survive Working for a Narcissistic Leader – Here’s Why“.The last line in their post really struck home for me. It was: “Can you work for a Narcissist? No, you can’t. No one can and remain healthy.“.

I have read posts on websites about working with a Narcissist Boss, which implied that you can change the Boss. Sorry, but I strongly disagree. IMHO, you cannot fix that which is hardwired differently in the brain of the Narcissist. Many Trained and very Experienced Therapists state that they cannot change a Narcissist. Good Luck getting a Narcissist to go to a Therapist asking for Help. The one course of action which an employee of a Narcissistic Boss, which works, is to Go No Contact – Quit without notice and never come back.

Click on this link to visit the Optimum Talent website to read their excellent article titled: “You’ll Never Survive Working for a Narcissistic Leader – Here’s Why“.

 

How a Narcissistic Boss Causes Stress and Burnout by Dr. Hamlin

Dr. Hamlin discusses How a Narcissistic Boss Causes Stress and Burnout. He also offers a few tips for how to cope with a Narcissistic Boss, so that you can protect yourself.

Video is courtesy of the Steps for Change YouTube channel

7 Emotional Manipulation Strategies which Narcissists use to confuse conversations

Sharing the Truth of the Narcissist’s actions and you may think you are suddenly in episode of the Twilight Zone. Your reality will not be accepted by the Narcissist. This can occur within a personal relationship and also in a work environment with a Narcissistic Boss.

If you create a Narcissistic Injury, then lookout as the Narcissist will twist things to Keep the Focus OFF OF The FACTS which you spoke about. They will switch to talking about and accuse you of things totally unrelated to what the original discussion was about. How dare you question the Narcissist. 

Video is courtesy of the Michele Lee Nieves Coaching YouTube channel