A Narcissist looks deeply into your eyes and softly says that when they look at you they see their “Soul Mate“. Your heart rate increases. Your face starts to flush. Your Fight or Flight response shuts down. You become enamored. Your judgements becomes clouded. You believe the Narcissist and feel oh so wonderful having found “Your Soul Mate“.
A variant of the above is having the Narcissist take you aside (they would not want other potential Targets to hear) to inform you that they feel that the both of you are “Kindred Spirits“.
Not so fast. Heck you hardly know each other. It could be a Red Flag called Love Bombing, which is a tactic commonly used by Cluster-B Disordered individuals such as Narcissists.
Generally you get such “Bullshit” lines when the Narcissist wants something, which they believe that they can con you into “giving to them”.
It could be something physical, like maybe providing a roof over their head when they move into your “Home”. Narcissists are rather good at planning ahead, “for themselves”.
It could be that you are wealthy and the Narcissist feels that it would only be proper if a “Soul Mate” shared their wealth with another “Soul Mate”.
It could be that you are rather Handsome or Beautiful. The Narcissist would feel so proud parading you around on their arm. The Trophy Wife syndrome.
Maybe you are extremely popular and or famous. In such a case the Narcissist will happily tag along to all those special events that you get invited to. That helps to keep their fragile Ego well inflated.
It could be that they are having a bad month. Their last source of Narcissistic Supply finally got fed up and went No Contact. The Narcissist needs Narcissistic Supply, not unlike a Drug Addict needing their fix.
You may not be rich or beautiful or famous. You’re just a normal average human being, who has an internal desire to be find someone to love and to be loved back. As such, to the narcissist you are nothing special.
A Cerebral Narcissist, for example, would not give you a second thought because to them you just are not good enough and so unworthy of becoming their Source of Narcissistic Supply. Unless they are down on their Source of Narcissistic Supply. In such a case they will gladly “use” anyone. Heck when they find a way better Source of Supply, they can unceremoniously dump you. For now they open their bag of tricks and start with the Love Bombing.
Are you still glad the Narcissist told you that they see you as their “Soul Mate” or that you both are “Kindred Spirits“?
Google’s Search Engine is your friend. Do some searches for “Support for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse” and variations of that. You will find many Yahoo Groups, websites and Facebook Groups filled with individuals who in their past, had been used and abused by one or more Narcissists. Visit those groups and ask the prior victims whether they still feel that the Narcissist was ever their “Soul Mate“.
When someone whom you barely know (it could be a co-worker or someone that you met in a bar) starts talking about you and them being “Soul Mates” or being “Kindred Spirits“, take a deep breath. Such talk could very well be an indication that you are dealing with a personality disordered individual.
Been there and heard that. If the nonsense talk of “Soul Mates or Kindred Spirits” comes up, I remain polite. If it happens on a first date, I still try to have a fun evening. When I take my date home, I decline her offer to come in for a night cap drink. A night cap invite, is really an invite to spend the night,
Yes, becoming intimate with pretty much a stranger can be enjoyable. It could also emotionally trap you in the land of regrets. If someone is that easy and eager to get into bed with you, then they could be just as easy and eager to get into bed with someone else (or anyone else for that matter). Of course your mileage may differ. On my way home, I make a mental note to have as little as possible to do with that person again.
Have I ever considered that the “Soul Mates” “Kindred Spirits” nonsense was the real deal? Look, when you barely know someone, they do not know you. The only thing that they have any knowledge of, is how you look physically. But it is what is inside that counts. They have “not” spent enough time with you, to discover “you”. In my opinion, they are only feeding you a line to hook you. I step back and ask myself why would someone do that?
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