Playing word games with a Narcissist is playing with fire and you’re the one who could get burned

I was reading a blog post (on another site) about a woman who had borrowed her Narcissist’s car, to visit a Doctor to get some surgical stitches removed. If all went well she would have plenty of time to pickup the Narcissist.

Complications took extra time and she arrived almost 1/2 hour late to pickup the Narcissist.

Instead of asking how things went at the Doctor, the Narc verbally laid into the lady because she was late. The Woman was still in severe pain from getting surgical stitches removed. So what!  Narcissists do not care about you. They only care about themselves.

She called him on his callous responses to her. He never did ask how the Doctor’s visit went.

Possibly due to the Doctor’s visit, the lady stood up to the Narc’s Verbal Abuse and called him a Bully. Her standing up for herself pissed the Narc off. He raised his arm and it looked like he was about to strike the woman, but he was able to control himself. She then told him to go ahead and hit her.

The following is my two cents worth “opinion”:

When you are being Verbally Abused, leave the situation if possible. At a Red Light, exit the car and tell the Narc that you will see him at home. That stops the verbal abuse. The Narc expects to belittle you, to gain control over you in this situation. By leaving the situation, you are going No Contact – if only for a short time.

By leaving, you deescalate the situation. You also take power away from Narc, because he will no longer be able to verbally abuse you.

In my opinion it was not a good idea to goad a Narcissist, by telling them to Go Ahead and Hit you. Legally you are giving them permission. If you call the Police, the Narc is great at playing the innocent one and playing people.

Hey, he could tell the Police Officer that you and him are into S&M Sex, but only when the other party gives permission. He could say that you gave him permission to hit you. If it goes to family Court, the Narc’s Lawyer will twist your statement against you. The key is that you will admit that you told him to hit you. Never give any abuser that kind of remark. Talk to your local Law Enforcement Authority about how saying something like that, could tie up the hands of the Police Officers and the Court.

You goaded your Narc, by telling him to hit you. So he goes ahead and hits you. Do you think that it will stop with one single punch??? If Narcissistic Rage takes over your Narcissist, your face could become black and blue with blood running down your broken nose. After they wire your lower jaw back in place, you will be having dinner via a straw for a long time. When you are finally allowed to eat solid food, you could find it difficult to chew due to all the missing teeth that your Narc knocked out.

Do not play with fire. A friend ended up in the Hospital for months after her Malignant Narcissist went to town on her. Her horrific experience is what motivated the creation of this blog.

Speak to your Lawyer and to Local Law Enforcement about your legal rights regarding Domestic Violence and Abuse. Ask them how it could harm your legal position if you told the Narcissist to hit you. There is also info about the US Domestic Abuse Hotline with phone number visible on the main page of this blog. Also a link in the large menu at the top of the Blog. It is a resource which could be of great help. Call and find out how they can help you.


Never forget that Narcissists are Disordered Individuals. If Narcissistic Rage takes over, then you have no idea just how much physical damage they can do to you. Do not play with fire. Do not goad any Abuser by telling them to Hit You. Every year, people die at the hands of their Abuser.

Disclaimer: The above is just “my opinion”. It is not meant to be any kind of Legal Advice. Do your own due diligence and seek out your own Legal Counsel.


  1. she

    Wow. I’ve never heard my own true life experience told from another’s perspective. Wow! I must say that you did…really well. I’m shocked that you got right down to a visual of what actually happened and what I was actually feeling at the moment. Whoa. He didn’t give a crap about me or my nose. He actually even stuck his middle finger so close to it, I had to go cross-eyed to figure out what he was doing before I realized what he meant was “fuck you!” I hate his guts so much. He’s like a little baby. Having a pouty fit over trivial things that a mature person would have just brushed off their shoulder.

    Thinking about your ADVICE, you’re right I shouldn’t have goaded him about hitting me. It’s just that for years he has punched walls and doors trying to avoid hitting me and all because I’ve stood up for myself. If you want to call it provoking him, you can do that, but at some point, a woman, wife, victim, of a man like this HAS to stand up for herself. Speak her mind, at least tell the NARC, that we won’t stand for their shit or at least let him know that we know that were not oblivious to how they’re trying to BREAK us. My husband has told me before back in 2011, he was upset that he hadn’t broken me yet (during and argument aka me standing up for myself) and that was after 12 years of marriage then. Now it’s been 16 years. You think he’s gotten even more furious? Hell yeh, he has. I may be broken, but not so far broken that I’ve surrendered to cutting off my tonque which I’m sure he’d LOVE.

    Anyway, back to me goading him in the car, he actually told our 17-year-old son what happened and he never ever talks to our son about our business. When my son and I were alone he told me that his father told him that he didn’t try to hit me at all and that he was merely reaching to turn the radio station or reaching to turn up the volume to drown me out. But the thing is he’d already that! :-/ Now the question is, why would he tell our son about this dispute? Could it because he is trying to cover his ass, so that if the police were to get involved he’d have our son to back him up or take his side instead of mine?


    • unadmin2

      Your blog post struck a nerve. I think your blog is great. You are sharing your reality, wish more people did.

      Standing up is important. It helps establish boundaries.

      Depending on the Narcissist, daring them to hit you could trigger Narcissistic Rage, because he knows that he cannot hit you and Narcs think that that can do anything that they want because they are oh so special. When faced with the reality that no they are not omnipotent and cannot do anything they want, it messes with their mind and they can lash out. I once shot back at a rather malignant Narc and asked if he was Human. It was at a job and had it not been, I believe that his fists would have flown. His eyes just glared at me. His nostrils flared and he clenched both fists and took a step towards me (intimidation tactic by not respecting my physical space).

      Sometimes it does not take much to make them pop their cork. My point was why take the risk. You can establish boundaries and stand up for yourself without daring someone to beat you.

      Narcs are great at making themselves out to be the injured party. The behind your back innuendos to your son (who loves both of you).

      You are getting professional help. Ever consider trying to Drag your Husband to a number of sessions. He might do it if framed in a way that he would be doing it for his son and not for you.

      Your post struck a cord. Keep writing, I’m sure that your blog will help others and putting your feelings into words could also have benefits for you.

      Liked by 1 person