Attachment Injuries during childhood are directly linked to adult Codependency.
You need to give yourself that which you never received when you were a child.
Your Narcissistic Partner will never be the Corrective Experience for that Attachment Injury.
Quite the contrary, the Narcissist was attracted to you because of your Codependency which made it very easy for them to Use and Manipulate you.
You need a healthy relationship, where your partner can show you that they care about and love you and that “you matter” to them.
Narcissists lack empathy and so are unable to care about or love others.
To a narcissist your only value is in you being a source of Narcissistic Supply, which can and usually will be replaced with a better source of Narcissistic Supply. Narcissists are always “hunting” for new and better sources of Narcissistic Supply.
Video is courtesy of the Alan Robarge YouTube channel.
Being in a relationship with a Narcissist once is your life, is in my opinion one time too many.
This video presentation is from the heart by someone who sadly has been there and done that.
How to spot a narcissist next time round before it’s too late.
Quote below is from what was posted with the video on the Daylight out of Darkness YouTube channel :
So I’m not going to give you a list of things to look out for because I actually believe that doesn’t help at all.
I think the most important thing to do is start paying attention to your own feelings inside while you are with that person. to make sure that you are meeting your own needs first. to pay attention to how you feel in the company of this person and I’m not talking about the in love feeling. how much you enjoy all the other interactions with this person and how this person reacts when you are meeting you are needs first on an ongoing basis. also picked up on the energy this person is emitting and how it is influencing you.
On some occasions it’s going to take you a while to realize someone is narcissistic or dysfunctional, but you will notice it after a short while if you are paying attention to your own needs and feelings, and then you can move on with grace.
The more healed you are inside as far as your emotional wounds the less your chances of actually ending up in a serious relationship with a narcissist. that’s why focusing on yourself is the most important criteria when it comes to narcissists and abuse.
Unfortunately the narcissist is like water he just molds to whatever receptacle he is poured into so sometimes it’s near impossible to pick up his narcissism from a checklist.
You are going to have to rely on your internal gauge. I believe this is the most important tool to living a healthy happy life and staying away from these dysfunctional characters. Link below to Daylight out of Darkness, “Shop Front”:
Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com/
Permission was granted via a Creative Commons License to include the long Quote above into this post.
You are a Survivor. Your Nightmare Abusive Relationship is thankfully over. All is well, then something minor happens which changes your State. All of a sudden you have an Emotional Flashback, which darkens your day.
After a Flashback, you may feel the urge to contact your emotional abuser. Stay safe, by staying “No Contact“. By staying “No Contact” there is no way of you being Hoovered back into the abusive relationship which you had left.
In the past your Narcissist, Sociopath or Psychopath had picked you as a viable Target. You are now even more vulnerable and they will be more determined to suck you back in and then punish you for leaving them.
You increase your recovery from an abusive relationship by staying “No Contact”.
Video is courtesy of the Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome YouTube channel
Narcissists are especially misogynistic.
If you are considered a Low Grade (Low Quality) Source of Narcissistic Supply, then any relationship with the Narcissist will likely be kept hidden from others (often a secret relationship). The Narcissist (especially a Cerebral Narcissist) does not want others to know that they had to stoop to a Low Grade (Low Quality) person.
If you are the opposite and are a High Grade (Quality) Source of Narcissistic Supply, expect the Narcissist to parade you around and show off the relationship to everyone and anyone. A High Grade Source of Narcissistic Supply will become a “Trophy” to the Narcissist.
Video is courtesy of the Overcoming Understanding YouTube channel
Sex and Intimacy to a Narcissist are “Mutually Exclusive”. A relationship is all about Control to a Narcissist.