Category: Addiction to their Abuser

Interview with a Wife Beater

Video is courtesy of the 60 Minutes Australia YouTube Channel

Listen to the video and how the wife beater make excuses. He plays the cat and mouse game. He admits that he did wrong, then does not and makes excuses.

The video shot by his son shows that he threw his wife to the ground. Yet he states that he just wanted to give her a hug. He would not admit throwing her to the ground. Shoots back with a question: “Did I throw her to the ground?”.

He tries to shift the blame to the victim by saying that he does not know what his wife has said. Yet the video clearly shows him throwing his wife to the ground.

He thinks that there is no difference between saying that he repeatedly punched his wife in the head and giving her “taps”. He says that gave his wife “a couple of taps in the bathroom“. Changes the situation to be the fault of the wife.

He was asked if he believes that he was a “Monster”. He comes back saying that no he is not. A Malignant Narcissist will not admit that they did anything wrong. He says that he just “tapped” his wife, yet there is photo in the video of his wife with two black eyes. One must assume that to him it was OK to just “tap” his wife and that it was his wife’s fault that she ended up with two black eyes.

IMHO you cannot heal or change a Malignant Narcissist. IMHO, the best protection is to Go No Contact and work with the local Police and the Legal Courts.

Transcending addiction and redefining recovery by Jacki Hillios

Phoenix Multisport’s Director of Research and Evaluation, Jacki Hillios, PhD, discusses the importance of connecting with others and being with others to help one to overcome any Addiction which they are suffering from. Jacki Hillios ideas go well with the results of the Rat Park Experiment.

This video and Rat Park videos in my opinion apply to those human beings who have suffered by being in Mentally and or Physically abusive relationships. In my opinion,  they may have developed an “Addiction” to their Abuser. As with other forms, Addiction is very hard to overcome especially when the Victim of Abuse is all alone with no money and no support system. They are unable to leave their Abuser. Some call it Trauma Bonding and Stockholm Syndrome.

The key part of the approach mentioned by Jacki is to keep the Addicts involved doing things with other humans (whether the others are Addicts or not). The connections that they build stop the need to replace the lack of connection with a drug. Highly Addicted Rats became un-addicted when they were placed in a Rat Park Environment. They connected with others of their own kind. They had things to do together. Exactly the same core things which Jacki Hillios mentioned in her TEDx Talk.

Moving to a different city or country, the Victims in Abusive Relationships leave behind friends, family and even co-workers. They become isolated. The Abuser will instill the fear to not mention the abuse to others. They have no one to talk to. They have no one who cares enough to help them. They are alone and so could become  stuck and unable to leave their abuser.

Video is courtesy of the TEDX Talks YouTube channel

Breaking your Addiction to a Narcissist. Yes Addiction.

This presentation by Kaleah Laroche is filled with insights which may help one to begin the healing journey.

Your Narcissist targeted you and used Psychological Control techniques against you, because they work. Learned Conditioning works.

You became addicted to the Narcissist.

An alcoholic is drawn to alcohol and accepts it. A drug Addict is drawn to their drug of choice and accepts it. You are drawn to Narcissists and yes you accept one Narcissist after another. You become hooked by one Narcissist after another. You get caught in the Narcissist’s Trap over and over again. Addictions to drugs or alcohol work is a similar manner.

Kaleah delves deeply into the topic of addiction, codependency, shame, inner child healing and ultimately SELF love. Kaleah reminds me of John Bradshaw and his seminars about Healing the Inner Child.

Video is courtesy of the Kaleah Laroche YouTube channel

Please note that the video has a 4.5 minute musical interlude around the 35.5 minute mark. Kaleah then continues her presentation around the 40 minute mark. The complete video is 1 hour and 15 minutes in length, so don’t miss the latter half because of the short musical interlude.

When you can face up to your Addiction to a Narissist and approach your recovery from Narcissistic Abuse as a recovery from Addiction, you could begin to turn your focus inward to your own healing and recovery, and have less focus “out there” on the Narcissistic individual.

Click on this link to visit Kaleah Laroche’s website titled “Path Back to Self”.

Click on the following link to visit the official Kaleah Laroche facebook page.