Abysmal Parenting can put a child thru multiple trauma. Adults with Codependent Traits is one result. Cluster-B Disordered individuals (and Psychopaths) target adults with Codependent Traits and the abuse continues.
Video is courtesy of the Top Most Rare YouTube channel
The potential of a new life is shattered by Abysmal Parenting. The shattering of the spirit of a young child is rarely healed. Their life potential is greatly diminished. Once the little kids have been traumatized, what greatness they could have achieved in their lifetime will never be.
An adult can sometimes escape from a relationship with an abusive Cluster-B Disordered individual. I child cannot….
Hug your kids. Show them that you love them and always tell them that they are valued and important. Build up their self esteem, so that as adults they will not be targeted by Narcissists and other Cluster-B disordered individuals.
Infant Attachment Trauma caused by the Birth Mother or by the infant being given away to be raised by someone other than the Birth Mother (Grandparents or adopted out) can result in a Cluster-B Disordered Individual such as a Narcissist.
Childhood Trauma (later form of Attachment Trauma) caused by one or both parents can result in a Codependent Individual. One or more of the parents could be Cluster-B Disordered.
I am of the opinion that said Individuals (Narcissist or Codependent) are created (not born – ie not genetic) because of variations of Attachment Trauma inflicted on them via Abysmal Parenting.
John Bradshaw’s work raised the awareness of the concept of the Injured Inner Child. I have spoken to people with high levels of Narcissistic Traits, about their childhood. It was like I was talking to a different individual. even their vocal characteristic changed. I have crossed paths with Narcissists and have paid the price. Yet I still feel sorry for them. In my opinion it is not their fault that they are the way they are. The same for folks with Codependent Traits.
Keeping this site going I have again come full circle back to Attachment Trauma. I was reminded of that today while researching the website of a San Francisco Bay area Complex PTSD Therapist. I have to get in touch with him, to see if I can share some of his material on this site.
Taking my theory further, a relationship between a Narcissist and a Codependent could result in further Trauma. The Codependent could develop PTSD (or Complex PTSD if the relationship had been a long term one). The Narcissist could also suffer Trauma in the form of Narcissist Injury (Abandonment Trauma), from the loss of their valued Source of Narcissistic Supply. In the extreme, the Narcissist could attempt Suicide because of that Trauma and injury (I have witnessed this with Somatic Narcissists). Both types of individuals were created due to Trauma and when combined into a relationship both end up creating more Trauma. The Codependent could also develop Trauma Bonding if the relationship becomes abusive, and cannot leave.
Narcissists are attracted to Codependents.
Codependents are attracted to Narcissists.
Maybe the Injured Inner Child (see Alice Miller’s book titled : “The Drama of The Gifted Child“ and John Bradshaw’s books and videos about the Inner Child) of each type of individual can somehow pickup on the injured Inner Child in the other type of individual. The Injured Inner Child could be the source of the attraction between Codependents and Narcissists.
The common theme in the above is Trauma. The destructive Domino cascade is initiated by Extremely Poor to non-existent Parenting. Another area where our Educational Systems have failed Society. How many of you reading this, have had courses which detailed Great Parenting?
The most important role that a Human can have is to become a Great Parent. Yet we get zero formal training. I have had to take many courses in say Accounting and Statistics which I will “never” use. I have had zero courses detailing how to be a Great Parent. Does this make sense to you???
If you grew up with an Abusive Parent and in a Dysfunctional Household, there is a high probability that you may have a wounded child inside of you. An adult can escape from an abusive relationship, but a child never has that option.
John Bradshaw’s Home Coming was a series which was broadcast by Public Broadcasting in the US. This video is the first of many in the series.
If you are an adult who grew up in a Dysfunctional Household and are trying to understand what the hell happened to your childhood, might I suggest looking into finding a licensed therapist to help in your healing. You might be trying to deal with symptoms of Complex PTSD on your own and it is far from easy.
The Home Coming series and other videos and books from John Bradshaw might help you make some sense of what your parent(S) put you though.
I’m posting this because a visitor to this blog left me a comment about their situation. Hope that this post might be of help (John Bradshaw’s Home Coming video series is old, but it is filled with great info).
John Bradshaw – a few excerpts from Home Coming – Part 1:
The Problem of the Wonderful Inner Child
Video is courtesy of the John Bradshaw YouTube channel
Click on this link to visit the official John Bradshaw website.
Click on this link to visit amazon.com to view the books and videos by John Bradshaw.
Quote: “An Adult can escape from an Abusive Narcissist and go No Contact. A Child
never has that option, when one or more of their parents is an Abusive Narcissist.“
Copyright 2016 https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com
Feel free to share under Creative Common License Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International. Place your mouse cursor on the image. Then right Click and then choose Save Image As.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.