Attachment Injuries during childhood are directly linked to adult Codependency.
You need to give yourself that which you never received when you were a child.
Your Narcissistic Partner will never be the Corrective Experience for that Attachment Injury.
Quite the contrary, the Narcissist was attracted to you because of your Codependency which made it very easy for them to Use and Manipulate you.
You need a healthy relationship, where your partner can show you that they care about and love you and that “you matter” to them.
Narcissists lack empathy and so are unable to care about or love others.
To a narcissist your only value is in you being a source of Narcissistic Supply, which can and usually will be replaced with a better source of Narcissistic Supply. Narcissists are always “hunting” for new and better sources of Narcissistic Supply.
Video is courtesy of the Alan Robarge YouTube channel.
Starting with answering the question “What is Codependency?“, this video gives insights into becoming self aware of the “triggers” of your Codependent Behaviour.
Becoming aware of your Codependent Behaviour,
is the first major step to changing said behaviour.
Video is courtesy of the Brian Pisor YouTube channel
In this TED Talks presentation Leslie Morgan Steiner explains “Why domestic violence victims don’t leave”.
Leslie Morgan Steiner says that she was in “crazy love” — that is, madly in love with a man who routinely abused her and threatened her life.
The video is courtesy of the TED YouTube channel
The relationship started out, by the Abuser Love Bombing her. She called it to Seduce and Charm the victim. Her future Abuser Idolized her and she stated that that he “believed” in her. Note that she uses the term “Soul Mate”. Watch for those Red Flags, they may be extremely important to your future health and well being.
Next the victim is isolated. She was moved away from her friends and family.
About a week before she married her Abuser, he choked her and bashed her head into a wall. When the bruises on her neck cleared, she went ahead and married her Abuser.
She got the “I’m sorry” story and that it would never happen again. She did get Abused again, and on a regular basis.
Trauma Bonding, in my opinion, kept her in the relationship. Listen to the language which she uses to describe her Abuser.
There is something else which kept her in that Abusive Relationship. That was her “Silence” about it. I know that statement may not sit well with some readers. Listen carefully at the end of the video, where Leslie Morgan Steiner clearly states that the end of her Abuse started when she “started talking about it”.
She talked to the Police about it – very very important first step. She talked to the neighbors about it. She talked to all her friends and family about it. The key is that she “Talked About It“. She let people know that she was being Abused and people helped her. If someone does not know about your abuse, then they cannot help you. “Talking about her Abuse to others”, helped to break her bonds to the Abuser
Talking about your Abusive Relationship to “everyone” Is the Major Message of this video. No one deserves to be Abused. Abusers program those being Abused “Not to Tell“. When one stays quiet about being Abused, they are giving power over themselves to the Abuser. Abuse is about having power and control over someone. Abusers want those being abused, “to keep their mouths shut”. As soon as one tells others about being abused, their Abuser loses all of his or her power and control. Saying something about being Abused could help to set the Victim free.
Click on this Link to read a prior post about a female being turned into a Human Torch because she dared to leave a Disordered Individual. She was burned alive because the guy “didn’t accept being abandoned”.
Note also the major Red Flag indicated by the abuse that her Abuser had apparently received from his Step Father from the age of four. Major Trauma suffered by an infant and a young child is IMHO a Major Red Flag that such an individual could be a Disordered Adult.
Those Red Flags could be extremely important. Learn about them and then watch for them. The more Red Flags that show up, the more questions should be raised about the individual displaying those Red Flags
Click on this link to visit the official Leslie Morgan Steiner website.
Click on this Link to visit the official Leslie Morgan Steiner Facebook page.
span style=”font-size:large;”>In the video, over 30 Red Flags are discussed. They can provide one with insight, about the character and integrity of the individual you are interacting with. Low levels of Integrity impact all aspects of a person’s life.
IMHO Integrity is paramount, at work and in a Love Relationship.
Leo Gura points out that shady people, live a shady life. Falling in Love tends to Blind one to the potential dire reality.
The 30 plus Red Flags discussed in this video are not your typical Red Flags posted on sites dealing with Narcissism. They are more about Morals and Ethics. The more Red Flags that you know about, the better equipped you will be to watch for Red Flags given off by Disordered individuals.
No one should get manipulated into an Abusive Relationship. Knowledge is Power, it can help one make better life choices.
Insightful video. Leo Gura’s 30 plus Red Flags can help one with Avoiding Dysfunctional & Abusive Relationships.
Video is courtesy of the Actualized.org YouTube channel