Category: Cerebral Narcissist

Are Narcissists Achievers, or are Narcissists Losers and Failures?

Somatic Narcissists come across as being Laid back. Somatic Narcs it seems lack education, focus, goals and drive and as such achieve little. They are generally low level employees.

Cerebral Narcissist, on the other hand, do climb high up the Corporate Ladder. They can also cause major problems for the firm. Their focus is on themselves and getting praise from those whom they have classified as “high quality” Narcissistic Supply. They generally have no clue how to motivate a Team and as such can lose really good employees who will quit.

I have crossed paths with Cerebral Narcs who were totally focused on themselves. Every conversation and every meeting included them praising themselves. People further up the ladder had a disdain for them and their further advancement up the Corporate Ladder was blocked. The only ones who could not see this were a couple of Flying Monkeys who would watch the Cerebral Narcs every move and follow and praise him.

Narcissists “need you” to praise and worship their every move. They can suffer Major Narcissistic Injury (potentially suicidal), if their “High Value” source of Narcissistic Supply goes No Contact.

So on one hand Narcissists think that they are Perfect. On the other they “need” others to confirm their “illusion” of perfection. Winners live in the real world.  In my opinion, the Abandonment Trauma which created the Narcissist when they were just a Baby, did not create a Winner…

Video is courtesy of the Sam Vaknin YouTube channel

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I received an email asking if Narcissists ever change.

Video is courtesy of the The Dr. Phil Show YouTube channel

Dr. Phil interviews Ex-Girlfriend Of Man Accused Of Killing, Dismembering Seattle Mom. See how many Red Flags you can pick up. This lady was lucky that she was not isolated during her 6 months or so with that guy.

She said that he was Charming, Witty and Very Smart. How do you spell Cerebral Narcissist? Yet she could tell that there was something about him that was “off”. There was something scary about his eyes. Potentially Malignant? When the mask slips, one gets to see something else, which was lurking behind that mask.

He met the the Seattle Mom (whom he allegedly killed and dismembered) online via an dating site.

Which brings me to an email which I had received from a visitor to this site.

I received an email asking if Narcissists ever change. The writer stated that they were dating people via an internet dating site. They had found Narcissists to be “much more fun” than the “normal” “regular” people.

Yes you can date Narcissists which you meet on an Internet Dating Site. Great way to risk your life, meeting total strangers and one’s whom you prefer to be afflicted with a  Cluster-B Disorder like NPD. Hey, you might get to meet your first Psychopath (who could also turn out to be your last).

You may have fun in the beginning.

Read the recent posts about the women who could not leave physically abusive relationships. They all had so much fun – in the very beginning during the Love Bombing Phase. Listen to how they describe the guy, who ended up physically abusing them consistently after they had been isolated from family and friends. Things changed drastically. They got Black Eyes on a consistent basis. The were kicked down flights of stairs. They had their heads punched repeatedly. Not fun things to go through. Especially if the Narcissist or Cluster-B Disordered Individual can isolate you and make you totally dependent on them. Note that those “boring” “Normal” and “Regular” people generally are not as prone to do such things.

Yes playing with Fire can be so much fun. But IMHO the odds are against you.
You may get burned, or simply Disappear.

Post-Separation & Post-Divorce Lesbians

Post-Separation Lesbians is something which can happen to Narcissists who get rejected / abandoned usually by another, but different kind of Narcissist. For example the Cerebral male Narc unceremoniously dumps his lover, a Somatic female Narc. The Somatic female suffers Narcissistic Injury. She then looks for a woman to become her Lover and new Source of Narcissistic Supply.

The article “Post-Divorce Lesbians” posted on the First Wives World website addresses the switch to finding a Lesbian Lover, after a divorce or separation from a male ex.

Click on this line to visit the First Wives World website to read their post titled “Post-Divorce Lesbians: Looking for Affection?”.

Homosexual, Lesbian, BiSexual and TransSexual Narcissists

Narcissists will form relationships with whomever they can. Just because they are in a “traditional” marriage, does not mean that they are strictly “heterosexual”.

Narcissistic Injury can also flip sexual preference. For example: A female Somatic Narcissist who gets rejected and dumped for a far better source of Narcissist Supply by her male Cerebral Narcissist lover, may go through an Abandonment Trauma event and suffer a major Narcissistic Injury, So she then seeks out sexual relationships with other women.

The only stability is from adamantly Lesbian or Gay Narcissists. Yes they can seek new partners, but will not look for a heterosexual type of relationship. It’s the “pretend” heterosexual Narcissists, who could swing either way.

That leads to a Sam Vaknin article titled “

 Homosexual and Transsexual Narcissists

Frequently Asked Questions # 18

Homosexual narcissists are auto-erotic and somatic: they leverage their body and sexuality to obtain narcissistic supply.

 Transsexual narcissists feel entitled to special treatment and cosseting.

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 By: Dr. Sam Vaknin

Malignant Self Love – Buy the Book – Click HERE!!!

 Relationships with Abusive Narcissists – Buy the e-Books – Click HERE!!!

Click on this line to visit Sam Vaknin’s website.

Sam Vaknin has given permission to share his article, as follows:

Question:

What is the typical profile of a homosexual narcissist? Why is he always on a lookout for new victims? Is he lying or is he telling the truth when he says that he “wants to get laid” by one and all? If he is not suicidal, is he not afraid of AIDS?

Answer:

Research failed to find any substantive difference between the psychological make-up of a narcissist who happens to have homosexual preferences – and a heterosexual narcissist.

They both are predators, devouring Narcissistic Supply Sources as they go. Narcissists look for new victims, the way tigers look for prey – they are hungry. Hungry for adoration, admiration, acceptance, approval, and any other kind of attention. Old sources die easy – once taken for granted, the narcissistic element of conquest vanishes.

Conquest is important because it proves the superiority of the narcissist. The very act of subduing, subjugating, or acquiring the power to influence someone provides the narcissist with Narcissistic Supply. The newly conquered idolise the narcissist and serve as a trophies.

The act of conquering and subordinating is epitomized by the sexual encounter – an objective and atavistic interaction. Making love to someone means that the consenting partner finds the narcissist (or one or more of his traits, such as his intelligence, his physique, even his money) irresistible.

The distinction between passive and active sexual partners is mechanical, false, superfluous and superficial. Penetration does not make one of the parties “the stronger one”. To cause someone to have sex with you is a powerful stimulus – and always provokes a sensation of omnipotence. Whether one is physically passive or active – one is always psychosexually active.

Anyone who has unsafe sex is gambling with his life – though the odds are much smaller than public hysteria would have us believe. Reality does not matter, though – it is the perception of reality that matters. Getting this close to (perceived) danger is the equivalent of engaging in self-destruction (suicide). Narcissists are, at times, suicidal and are always self-destructive.

There is, however, one element, which might be unique to homosexuals: the fact that their self-definition hinges on their sexual identity. I know of no heterosexual who would use his sexual preferences to define himself almost fully. Homosexuality has been inflated to the level of a sub-culture, a separate psychology, or a myth. This is typical of persecuted minorities. However, it does have an influence on the individual. Preoccupation with body and sex makes most homosexual narcissists SOMATIC narcissists.

Moreover, the homosexual makes love to a person of the SAME sex – in a way, to his REFLECTION. In this respect, homosexual relations are highly narcissistic and autoerotic affairs.

This article appears in my book, “Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited”

Click HERE to buy the print edition from Amazon (click HERE to buy a copy dedicated by the author)

Click HERE to buy the print edition from Barnes and Noble

Click HERE to buy the print edition from the publisher and receive a BONUS PACK

Click HERE to buy electronic books (e-books) and video lectures (DVDs) about narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships

Click HERE to buy the ENTIRE SERIES of sixteen electronic books (e-books) about narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships

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The somatic narcissist directs his libido at his body (as opposed to the cerebral narcissist, who concentrates upon his intellect). He cultivates it, nourishes and nurtures it, is often an hypochondriac, dedicates an inordinate amount of time to its needs (real and imaginary). It is through his body that this type of narcissist tracks down and captures his Supply Sources.

The supply that the somatic narcissist so badly requires is derived from his form, his shape, his build, his profile, his beauty, his physical attractiveness, his health, his age. He downplays Narcissistic Supply directed at other traits. He uses sex to reaffirm his prowess, his attractiveness, or his youth. Love, to him, is synonymous with sex and he focuses his learning skills on the sexual act, the foreplay and the coital aftermath.

Seduction becomes addictive because it leads to a quick succession of Supply Sources. Naturally, boredom (a form of transmuted aggression) sets in once the going gets routine. Routine is counter-narcissistic by definition because it threatens the narcissist’s sense of uniqueness.

An interesting side issue relates to transsexuals.

Philosophically, there is little difference between a narcissist who seeks to avoid his True Self (and positively to become his False Self) – and a transsexual who seeks to discard his true gender. But this similarity, though superficially appealing, is questionable.

People sometimes seek sex reassignment because of advantages and opportunities which, they believe, are enjoyed by the other sex. This rather unrealistic (fantastic) view of the other is faintly narcissistic. It includes elements of idealised over-valuation, of self-preoccupation, and of objectification of one’s self. It demonstrates a deficient ability to empathise and some grandiose sense of entitlement (“I deserve to be taken care of”) and omnipotence (“I can be whatever I want to be – despite nature/God”).

This feeling of entitlement is especially manifest in some gender dysphoric individuals who aggressively pursue hormonal or surgical treatment. They feel that it is their inalienable right to receive it on demand and without any strictures or restrictions. For instance, they oftentimes refuse to undergo psychological evaluation or treatment as a condition for the hormonal or surgical treatment.

It is interesting to note that both narcissism and gender dysphoria are early childhood phenomena. This could be explained by problematic Primary Objects, dysfunctional families, or a common genetic or biochemical problem. It is too early to say which. As yet, there isn’t even an agreed typology of gender identity disorders – let alone an in-depth comprehension of their sources.

A radical view, proffered by Ray Blanchard, seems to indicate that pathological narcissism is more likely to be found among non-core, ego-dystonic, autogynephilic transsexulas and among heterosexual transvestites. It is less manifest in core, ego-syntonic, homosexual transsexuals.

Autogynephilic transsexuals are subject to an intense urge to become the opposite sex and, thus, to be rendered the sexual object of their own desire. In other words, they are so sexually attracted to themselves that they wish to become both lovers in the romantic equation – the male and the female. It is the fulfilment of the ultimate narcissistic fantasy with the False Self as a fetish (“narcissistic fetish”).

Autogynephilic transsexuals start off as heterosexuals and end up as either bisexual or homosexual. By shifting his/her attentions to men, the male autogynephilic transsexual “proves” to himself that he has finally become a “true” and desirable woman.

Asexual – or Autosexual?

The label “asexual” has come to signify anyone who does not feel the need to engage in partnered sex. This is misleading. People who avoid having sex with others, but masturbate on a regular basis and as an exclusive sexual outlet are not asexual – they are autosexual.

All autosexuals are autoerotic, but only a minority of autoerotics are autosexual. Autoeroticism more frequently finds expression via activities such as same-sex partnerships (homosexuality) or incest (which is sex with the living expression of one’s own genetic makeup).

Also Read

The Natural Roots of Sexuality

The Roots of Pedophilia

Gender and the Narcissist

Sex and Gender

The Pathology of Love

Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hide

The World of the Narcissist

The Narcissistic Couple

Physique Dysmorphique

Narcissists and Women

The Two Loves of the Narcissist

Portrait of the Narcissist as a Young Man

That Thing Between a Man and a Woman

Ethical Relativism and Absolute Taboos

The Offspring of Aeolus: On the Incest Taboo

Psychosexual Stages of Development

Sex and Personality Disorders

Narcissists, Sex and Fidelity

Narcissists, Psychopaths, Sex, and Marital Fidelity

You can click on this line to visit Sam Vaknin’s website to read the source article.

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A Narcissist Hates Women, which stems from suppressed anger they have towards their mother

Narcissists are especially misogynistic.

If you are considered a Low Grade (Low Quality) Source of Narcissistic Supply, then any relationship with the Narcissist will likely be kept hidden from others (often a secret relationship). The Narcissist (especially a Cerebral Narcissist) does not want others to know that they had to stoop to a Low Grade (Low Quality) person.

If you are the opposite and are a High Grade (Quality) Source of Narcissistic Supply, expect the Narcissist to parade you around and show off the relationship to everyone and anyone. A High Grade Source of Narcissistic Supply will become a “Trophy” to the Narcissist.

Video is courtesy of the Overcoming Understanding YouTube channel

Sex and Intimacy to a Narcissist are “Mutually Exclusive”. A relationship is all about Control to a Narcissist.

Sex with a Cerebral Narcissist features Lack of Intimacy, Control Tactics and “Mother” Issues.

This video is an intimate look back on a relationship with a Cerebral Narcissist. The presenter discusses her Cerebral Narcissist Husband as a textbook example.

She also details Narcissist’s issues with their “Mother”, which seem to be a common theme with Cerebral Narcissists.

Cerebral male narcissists tend to have moderate to severe ‘mother issues‘ where they have secretly-held or overtly-declared anger, disdain, and or generalized hurt originating from early childhood experiences from their mothers lack of attentive loving parenting. They tend to secretly dislike women.

You could feel the continued pain she still has, when she discussed her memory of being rejected sexually by her Husband.

Sex with a Cerebral Narcissist is controlled by the “Intimacy Factor”. Becoming “Intimate” with another person is something which Narcissists cannot do, especially Cerebral Narcissists (no Empathy for others, so Intimacy cannot be established). They much prefer viewing Porn and Masturbation, to having sex with a “real person”.

My addition to the last paragraph : If the person is providing a “High Grade/Quality” of Narcissistic Supply – ie someone who the Cerebral Narcissists looks up to, then the Narcissist will work hard at providing gratifying sex. Why? He will get a “High” from it, because “He was the super sex partner who “made possible” that great sex”. This will never happen to someone providing “Low Grade/Quality” of Narcissistic Supply. Please view a past post which provides more detail about this important aspect of a Sexual Experience with a Cerebral Narcissist: https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com/2016/01/25/sex-with-a-narcissist-is-all-about-how-the-narcissist-views-the-quality-of-the-source-of-narcissistic-supply

Video is courtesy of the Cluster B & Me YouTube channel

 

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Sam Vaknin dicusses the differences between Somatic and Cerebral Narcissists

A well articulated and honest video discussing the differences between Somatic Narcissists and Cerebral Narcissists.

When two Narcissists get into a relationship (a Union made in Narcissistic Heaven), one is often Somatic while the other is Cerebral.That way they do not compete with each other for Narcissistic Supply. Each one can act a Source of Narcissistic Supply for the other.

Video s courtesy of the Sam Vaknin YouTube channel

Dr. Sam Vaknin’s website can be found at:
http://samvak.tripod.com/journal21.html
The Sam Vaknin YouTUbe channel can be found at;
http://www.youtube.com/user/samvaknin

The following was written by Dr. Sam Vaknin. It elaborates on the video above. Thanks go out to Dr. Sam Vaknin for allowing us to share this here.

Narcissists are either cerebral or somatic. In other words, they either generate their Narcissistic Supply by applying their bodies or by applying their minds.

The somatic narcissist flaunts his sexual conquests, parades his possessions, exhibits his muscles, brags about his physical aesthetics, youthfulness, sexual prowess or exploits, and is often a health freak and a hypochondriac. The somatic narcissist regards his body as an object to be sculpted and honed (via extreme diets, multiple cosmetic surgeries, bodybuilding, or weightlifting). When coupled with psychopathic tendencies, the somatic appropriates other people’s bodies and treats these as “raw materials” to be dismembered, tampered with, altered, invaded, or otherwise abused.

Somatic narcissists are often portrayed as sex addicts or histrionic. But really they derive their narcissistic supply not so much from the sex act as from the process of securing it: the conspiracies and assignations, the chase and conquest, the subjugation and habituation of their targets, and even from dumping and discarding their prey, once having extracted the attention and admiration they had sought. These extracurricular activities endow them with a sense of omnipotence and all-pervasive control. Their sway over their paramours and would-be lovers proves to them (and to others) their uniqueness, desirability and irresistibility.

The cerebral narcissist is a know-it-all, haughty and intelligent “computer”. He uses his awesome intellect, or knowledge (real or pretended) to secure adoration, adulation and admiration. To him, his body and its maintenance are a burden and a distraction.

Both types are auto-erotic (psychosexually in love with themselves, with their bodies and with their brain). Both types prefer masturbation to adult, mature, interactive, multi-dimensional and emotion-laden sex.

The cerebral narcissist is often celibate (even when he has a girlfriend or a spouse). He prefers pornography and sexual auto-stimulation to the real thing. The cerebral narcissist is sometimes a latent (hidden, not yet outed) homosexual.

The somatic narcissist uses other people’s bodies to masturbate. Sex with him – pyrotechnics and acrobatics aside – is likely to be an impersonal and emotionally alienating and draining experience. The partner is often treated as an object, an extension of the somatic narcissist, a toy, a warm and pulsating vibrator.

It is a mistake to assume type-constancy. In other words, all narcissists are BOTH cerebral and somatic. In each narcissist, one of the types is dominant. So, the narcissist is either OVERWHELMINGLY cerebral – or DOMINANTLY somatic. But the other type, the recessive (manifested less frequently) type, is there. It is lurking, waiting to erupt.

The narcissist swings between his dominant type and his recessive type. The latter is expressed mainly as a result of a major narcissistic injury or life crisis.

I can give you hundreds of examples from my correspondence but, instead, let’s talk about me (of course…:o))

(continued below)

—————————————————————-

This article appears in my book, “Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited”

Click HERE to buy the print edition from Barnes and Noble

Click HERE to buy the print edition from the publisher and receive a BONUS PACK

Click HERE to buy electronic books (e-books) and video lectures (DVDs) about narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships

Click HERE to buy the ENTIRE SERIES of sixteen electronic books (e-books) about narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships

 Click HERE for SPECIAL OFFER 1 and HERE for SPECIAL OFFER 2

Follow me on Twitter, Facebook (my personal page or the book’s), YouTube

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I am a cerebral narcissist. I brandish my brainpower, exhibit my intellectual achievements, bask in the attention given to my mind and its products. I hate my body and neglect it. It is a nuisance, a burden, a derided appendix, an inconvenience, a punishment. Needless to add that I rarely have sex (often years apart). I masturbate regularly, very mechanically, as one would change water in an aquarium. I stay away from women because I perceive them to be ruthless predators who are out to consume me and mine.

I have had quite a few major life crises. I got divorced, lost millions a few times, did time in one of the worst prisons in the world, fled countries as a political refugee, was threatened, harassed and stalked by powerful people and groups. I have been devalued, betrayed, denigrated and insulted.

Invariably, following every life crisis, the somatic narcissist in me took over. I became a lascivious lecher. When this happened, I had a few relationships – replete with abundant and addictive sex – going simultaneously. I participated in and initiated group sex and mass orgies. I exercised, lost weight and honed my body into an irresistible proposition.

This outburst of unrestrained, primordial lust waned in a few months and I settled back into my cerebral ways. No sex, no women, no body.

These total reversals of character stun my mates. My girlfriends and spouse found it impossible to digest this eerie transformation from the gregarious, darkly handsome, well-built and sexually insatiable person that swept them off their feet – to the bodiless, bookwormish hermit with not an inkling of interest in either sex or other carnal pleasures.

I miss my somatic half. I wish I could find a balance, but I know it is a doomed quest. This sexual beast of mine will forever be trapped in the intellectual cage that is I, Sam Vaknin, the Brain.


Sin of self-love possesseth all mine eye
And all my soul and all my every part;
And for this sin there is no remedy,
It is so grounded inward in my heart.
Methinks no face so gracious is as mine,
No shape so true, no truth of such account;
And for myself mine own worth do define,
As I all other in all worths surmount.
But when my glass shows me myself indeed,
Beated and chopp’d with tann’d antiquity,
Mine own self-love quite contrary I read;
Self so self-loving were iniquity.
‘Tis thee, myself, that for myself I praise,
Painting my age with beauty of thy days.

(Sonnet 62, William Shakespeare)

 

Plac’d on this isthmus of a middle state,
A Being darkly wise, and rudely great:
With too much knowledge for the Sceptic side,
With too much weakness for the Stoic’s pride,
He hangs between; in doubt to act, or rest;
In doubt to deem himself a God, or Beast;
In doubt his mind or body to prefer;
Born but to die, and reas’ning but to err;
Alike in ignorance, his reason such,
Whether he thinks too little, or too much;
Chaos of Thought and Passion, all confus’d;
Still by himself, abus’d or disabus’d;
Created half to rise and half to fall;
Great Lord of all things, yet a prey to all,
Sole judge of truth, in endless error hurl’d;
The glory, jest and riddle of the world.

(Essay on Man, Alexander Pope)

Copyright (c) Dr. Sam Vaknin All Rights Reserved.

Posted on this site thanks to the express permission granted by Dr. Sam Vaknin.

 

https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Alien Life Forms lack Empathy for others, just like Narcissists

Empathy for others, is a large part of what makes us “Human Beings”.

Lack of Empathy is an Alien or Reptilian quality.

Empathy does not register in their mind. Maybe it is because of Childhood Trauma. Maybe no one gave a shit about them, when they were a young child and really needed someone to care, but no one did. Childhood Abandonment Issues is one thing which Narcissists seem to have in common.

Video is courtesy of the Sam Vaknin YouTUbe channel

 

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com