Category: Complex Trauma

Abysmal Parenting creates both Narcissists and Codependents via Infant and Childhood Trauma. A Traumatized Individual is attracted to another Traumatized Individual.

Infant Attachment Trauma caused by the Birth Mother or by the infant being given away to be raised by someone other than the Birth Mother (Grandparents or adopted out) can result in a Cluster-B Disordered Individual such as a Narcissist.

Childhood Trauma (later form of Attachment Trauma) caused by one or both parents can result in a Codependent Individual. One or more of the parents could be Cluster-B Disordered.

I am of the opinion that said Individuals (Narcissist or Codependent) are created (not born – ie not genetic) because of variations of Attachment Trauma inflicted on them via Abysmal Parenting.

John Bradshaw’s work raised the awareness of the concept of the Injured Inner Child. I have spoken to people with high levels of Narcissistic Traits, about their childhood. It was like I was talking to a different individual. even their vocal characteristic changed. I have crossed paths with Narcissists and have paid the price. Yet I still feel sorry for them. In my opinion it is not their fault that they are the way they are. The same for folks with Codependent Traits.

Keeping this site going I have again come full circle back to Attachment Trauma. I was reminded of that today while researching the website of a San Francisco Bay area Complex PTSD Therapist. I have to get in touch with him, to see if I can share some of his material on this site.

Taking my theory further, a relationship between a Narcissist and a Codependent could result in further Trauma. The Codependent could develop PTSD (or Complex PTSD if the relationship had been a long term one). The Narcissist could also suffer Trauma in the form of Narcissist Injury (Abandonment Trauma), from the loss of their valued Source of Narcissistic Supply. In the extreme, the Narcissist could attempt Suicide because of that Trauma and injury (I have witnessed this with Somatic Narcissists). Both types of individuals were created due to Trauma and when combined into a relationship both end up creating more Trauma. The Codependent could also develop Trauma Bonding if the relationship becomes abusive, and cannot leave.

Narcissists are attracted to Codependents.

Codependents are attracted to Narcissists.

Maybe the Injured Inner Child (see Alice Miller’s book titled : “The Drama of The Gifted Child and John Bradshaw’s books and videos about the Inner Child) of each type of individual can somehow pickup on the injured Inner Child in the other type of individual. The Injured Inner Child could be the source of the attraction between Codependents and Narcissists.

The common theme in the above is Trauma. The destructive Domino cascade is initiated by Extremely Poor to non-existent Parenting. Another area where our Educational Systems have failed Society. How many of you reading this, have had courses which detailed Great Parenting?

The most important role that a Human can have is to become a Great Parent. Yet we get zero formal training. I have had to take many courses in say Accounting and Statistics which I will “never” use. I have had zero courses detailing how to be a Great Parent. Does this make sense to you???

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Complex PTSD and its Symptoms.

A revealing video from someone suffering with Complex PTSD.

Video is courtesy of the Cecilia Romero YouTube channel

Parentification and Narcissistic Parenting can lead to Complex PTSD in the Adult child

“A very subtle way to create damage in children is to turn the chosen scapegoat child into a parent.

This process is called Parentification, not to be confused with parenting. In Parentification the parent gives up what they are supposed to do as a parent and transfers that responsibility to the scapegoat child. Hence the scapegoat child becomes parentified.”

Video is courtesy of the Light of Knowledge YouTube channel

When You Love Your Abuser: Stockholm Syndrome and Trauma Bonds

They say that when you get burned by fire you don’t put your hand in the hot oven again. But that’s not necessarily the case. Sometimes, it’s the fact of being burned that emotion…

Source: When You Love Your Abuser: Stockholm Syndrome and Trauma Bonds

This post is courtesy of psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com. Please visit their extremely informative site by clicking on this line.

Narcissists look for you, if you have or have had Complex PTSD

If you have come from an abusive relationship and ended up with Complex PTSD symptoms, Narcissists would happily feed you lines.

If you have gotten over Complex PTSD, the suggestion in the video is to consider staying single for at least a year. That means do not date anyone. Individuals who have had Complex PTSD make perfect targets for Manipulative Narcissists.

Stay single and continue working with a great Therapist.

.Video is courtesy of the What’s Wrong … with Kris and Steve YouTube channel

What is Complex PTSD

In the video below Dr. Frank Ochberg, an expert on traumatic stress explains both Chronic PTSD and Complex PTSD. He also discusses the differences between them.

Video is courtesy of the Gift From Within YouTube channel

The following is presented here courtesy of http://traumadissociation.com
All copyright for the material below is held by http://traumadissociation.com

What is Complex PTSD?
Complex PTSD, is the result of multiple traumatic events occurring over a period of time, often referred to as “complex trauma”. Causes include multiple incidents of child abuse, particularly child physical abuse and child sexual abuse, prolonged domestic violence, concentration camp experiences, torture, slavery, and genocide campaigns.[3] Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder is not a diagnosis in the DSM-5 psychiatric manual, released in 2013,[5] but is planned for inclusion in the ICD-11 diagnostic manual, due for release in 2017. [3]

Differences between PTSD and Complex PTSD
Differences between PTSD  and Complex PTSD - only Complex PTSD includes interpersonal disturbances, negative self-concept and affect dysregulation, both include sense of threat, avoidance, re-experiencing

The diagram shows the additional symptoms present in Complex PTSD, compared to PTSD, and is based on research from 2013. [6]

Complex PTSD Symptoms

  • Interpersonal problems includes social and interpersonal avoidance (avoiding relationships), feeling distance or cut off from others, and never feeling close to another person.
  • Negative self-concept involves feelings of worthlessness and guilt. While survivors of PTSD may feel “not myself”, a survivor of Complex PTSD may feel no sense of self at all or experience a changed personality; a few may feel as if they are no longer human at all (Lovelace and McGrady, 1980; Timerman, 1981).[1]:385-386. Believing yourself to be “contaminated, guilty, and evil” is commonly reported by survivors of Complex PTSD. A fragmented identity is common, with Dissociative Identity Disorder occurring in some people. [1]:386
  • Interpersonal sensitivity includes having feelings which are easily hurt, anger/temper outbursts and difficulties with interpersonal relationships. Complex PTSD is normally the result of interpersonal trauma, the long duration of the trauma and the control of the perpetrator(s) prevents people from expressing anger or rage at the perpetrator(s) during the trauma; anger and rage both at perpetrators and the self can only be fully expressed after the trauma ends. Prolonged abuse normally leads to a loss of previously-held beliefs, with feelings of “being forsaken by both man and God”. [1]:382,386
  • Affect dysregulation means being unable to manage your own emotions, and is often referred to as “difficulties with emotional regulation”. The unexpressed anger and internalized rage resulting from the trauma may lead to self-destructive or reckless/risk taking behaviors, e.g., self-harm and/or suicide attempts, which may be driven by a sense of self-hatred. [1]:382, [6]
  • People with Complex PTSD also meet the diagnostic criteria for PTSD, which are:
    • a persistent sense of threat, e.g. hypervigilance and being easily startled
    • avoiding reminders of the traumas,
    • and re-experiencing or reliving the traumas, for example flashbacks and intrusive thoughts about the trauma.

In addition to the symptoms above, survivors of prolonged child abuse have an increased risk of both self-injury and repeated victimization, for example relationships with abusive people, sexual harassment, and rape. [1]:387

Judith Lewis-Herman, who first proposed Complex PTSD as a separate diagnosis, stated:

Observers who have never experienced prolonged terror, and who have no understanding of coercive methods of control, often presume that they would show greater psychological resistance than the victim in similar circumstances. The survivor’s difficulties are all too easily attributed to underlying character problems, even when the trauma is known. When the trauma is kept secret, as is frequently the case in sexual and domestic violence, the survivor’s symptoms and behavior may appear quite baffling, not only to lay people but also to mental health professionals. The clinical picture of a person who has been reduced to elemental concerns of survival is still frequently mistaken for a portrait of the survivor’s underlying character.” [1]:388

There is a lot more information in the post at http://traumadissociation.com/complexptsd.html#icd

Might I suggested to visit and Bookmark the http://traumadissociation.com site, as it is great resource about Trauma Disorders and Dissociative Disorders.

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Repetitive and Chronic Trauma have a lasting impact. Victims develop Complex Trauma and Trauma Bonding can occur.

Complex Trauma: Understanding and Treatment

Video is courtesy of the FOCL Online YouTube channel

Quoting from the text which was posted with this video:

“Historically, when someone has experienced trauma that has a lasting impact, they have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). In recent years those who work with trauma victims have advocated for an additional category: Complex Trauma. Therapeutic work with those who have experienced either multiple traumas or Repetitive and Chronic Trauma”

In the video the presenter speaks about the abuse of Children and suffering multiple traumas. That the same Multiple Trauma Stress, can also “injure” an adult. For example, the victim of Narcissist Abuse becomes “marinated” in the Repetitive and Chronic Trauma.

Between the Traumatic Events will be “reward” type of events. The victim is cycled between reward and Trauma/Punishment events. That sets the Victim up for Trauma Bonding to occur. The emotional injuries alter the victim.

When one leaves an abusive relationship, the injuries do not disappear. Nor does the Trauma Bond break. The victim’s day will be filled with thoughts of the Abusive Narcissist.

The Victim will wonder if maybe the Narcissist was right and it was their own fault. The Narcissist would never admit to being at fault, always shifting the blame back to the Victim. There is an old saying that “If you tell people a “Lie” often enough, it becomes the “truth”.

Flashbacks are common.The inability to shut off the Flight or Fight response when a situation is not harmful. In my opinion, Complex Trauma can develop in both children and adults who have experienced Multiple Trauma or Repetitive and Chronic Trauma. I believe that Trauma Bonding can also be found in adult victims of abuse who have developed Complex Trauma.