Category: counterfeit charm

I received an email asking if Narcissists ever change.

Video is courtesy of the The Dr. Phil Show YouTube channel

Dr. Phil interviews Ex-Girlfriend Of Man Accused Of Killing, Dismembering Seattle Mom. See how many Red Flags you can pick up. This lady was lucky that she was not isolated during her 6 months or so with that guy.

She said that he was Charming, Witty and Very Smart. How do you spell Cerebral Narcissist? Yet she could tell that there was something about him that was “off”. There was something scary about his eyes. Potentially Malignant? When the mask slips, one gets to see something else, which was lurking behind that mask.

He met the the Seattle Mom (whom he allegedly killed and dismembered) online via an dating site.

Which brings me to an email which I had received from a visitor to this site.

I received an email asking if Narcissists ever change. The writer stated that they were dating people via an internet dating site. They had found Narcissists to be “much more fun” than the “normal” “regular” people.

Yes you can date Narcissists which you meet on an Internet Dating Site. Great way to risk your life, meeting total strangers and one’s whom you prefer to be afflicted with a  Cluster-B Disorder like NPD. Hey, you might get to meet your first Psychopath (who could also turn out to be your last).

You may have fun in the beginning.

Read the recent posts about the women who could not leave physically abusive relationships. They all had so much fun – in the very beginning during the Love Bombing Phase. Listen to how they describe the guy, who ended up physically abusing them consistently after they had been isolated from family and friends. Things changed drastically. They got Black Eyes on a consistent basis. The were kicked down flights of stairs. They had their heads punched repeatedly. Not fun things to go through. Especially if the Narcissist or Cluster-B Disordered Individual can isolate you and make you totally dependent on them. Note that those “boring” “Normal” and “Regular” people generally are not as prone to do such things.

Yes playing with Fire can be so much fun. But IMHO the odds are against you.
You may get burned, or simply Disappear.

Thirteen Rules for Dealing with Sociopaths and Narcissists by Martha Stout.

Dr. Martha Stout Ph.D, is the author of  book titled “The Sociopath Next Door“. The Book Browse website has posted some really good insights by Martha Stout. They titled the post “An interview with Martha Stout“. It reads more like a good summary of Martha Stout’s thoughts, than an interview. In either case it is an interesting read.

In the post, under the section “Thirteen Rules for Dealing with Sociopaths in Everyday Life“, Martha Stout mentions what she calls the Rule of Threes. I’ll cut to the chase and bypass the first two events. This is what she concludes in her Rule of Threes: “But three lies says you’re dealing with a liar, and deceit is the linchpin of conscienceless behavior. Cut your losses and get out as soon as you can.“.

Flattery goes part and parcel with Love Bombing. I don’t have an inflated ego. If someone compliments me for something which I did, I’ll thank them. If they do it again, I’ll go “Huh?” to myself. When the compliments keep coming, I start questioning why is this person doing this. It is no longer flattering and I look for a motive.

That Martha Stout post touches on “Suspect Flattery“.  The following is a good quote from Martha Stout about “Suspect flattery” : “It is the material of counterfeit charm, and nearly always involves an intent to manipulate.“.

The Book Browse post is full of helpful insights and is well worth reading. Martha Stout specializes in Sociopaths and her insights are targeted at Sociopathic behaviour. Pretty much everything which Martha Stout wrote to watch for, can apply equally well to Narcissists.

Click on this line to visit the website to read an interview with Dr. Martha Stout and her “Thirteen Rules for Dealing with Sociopaths in Everyday Life”.

Click on this line to visit to learn more about Martha Stout’s book “The Sociopath Next Door”.

Click on this line to visit the Facebook page of Martha Stout.