Who are you dating?
Are you dating a Narcissist?
Video is courtesy of the Christine Pavlina YouTube channel
Video is courtesy of the The Dr. Phil Show YouTube channel
Dr. Phil interviews Ex-Girlfriend Of Man Accused Of Killing, Dismembering Seattle Mom. See how many Red Flags you can pick up. This lady was lucky that she was not isolated during her 6 months or so with that guy.
She said that he was Charming, Witty and Very Smart. How do you spell Cerebral Narcissist? Yet she could tell that there was something about him that was “off”. There was something scary about his eyes. Potentially Malignant? When the mask slips, one gets to see something else, which was lurking behind that mask.
He met the the Seattle Mom (whom he allegedly killed and dismembered) online via an dating site.
Which brings me to an email which I had received from a visitor to this site.
I received an email asking if Narcissists ever change. The writer stated that they were dating people via an internet dating site. They had found Narcissists to be “much more fun” than the “normal” “regular” people.
Yes you can date Narcissists which you meet on an Internet Dating Site. Great way to risk your life, meeting total strangers and one’s whom you prefer to be afflicted with a Cluster-B Disorder like NPD. Hey, you might get to meet your first Psychopath (who could also turn out to be your last).
You may have fun in the beginning.
Read the recent posts about the women who could not leave physically abusive relationships. They all had so much fun – in the very beginning – during the Love Bombing Phase. Listen to how they describe the guy, who ended up physically abusing them consistently after they had been isolated from family and friends. Things changed drastically. They got Black Eyes on a consistent basis. The were kicked down flights of stairs. They had their heads punched repeatedly. Not fun things to go through. Especially if the Narcissist or Cluster-B Disordered Individual can isolate you and make you totally dependent on them. Note that those “boring” “Normal” and “Regular” people generally are not as prone to do such things.
Yes playing with Fire can be so much fun. But IMHO the odds are against you.
You may get burned, or simply Disappear.
Sam Vaknin is a key resource in the study of Narcissists and Narcissism. He is a twice diagnosed Narcissist. He is also the author/creator of much of the jargon which is used on online sites which discuss disordered individuals (this site included).
He was asked in this video, what it feels like to be a Narcissist. Sam Vaknin’s response was a surprising “It Sucks“. That response reflects on his own self discovery.
The other thing that impresses me is that Sam Vaknin’s posted material is available for sharing under a Creative Commons license. With Sam Vaknin I get the impression that he is on an intense mission to inform people about Narcissists like himself. It seems uniquely selfless.
Video is courtesy of the Sam Vaknin YouTube channel
Click on this Link to visit Sam Vaknin’s website.
Click on this Link to visit the Sam Vaknin Facebook Page.
Click on this Link to Download an MP3 audio file of this video talk.
This video gives one an insight into the behaviour, thinking and traits of a Narcissist. I love the line in the video where she states “I think you are my Soul Mate“. That line, and variations of it, is a Narcissist favorite to use during the Love Bombing phase.
BTW, once you have been “primed” by a Narcissist, other Narcissists are able to pick you out of a crowd (see this prior post about a really informative lecture from Christine De Canonville).
Narcissist Suzie gets a new victim.
Video is courtesy of the begood4000 YouTube channel
Being in a relationship with a Narcissist once is your life, is in my opinion one time too many.
This video presentation is from the heart by someone who sadly has been there and done that.
How to spot a narcissist next time round before it’s too late.
Quote below is from what was posted with the video on the Daylight out of Darkness YouTube channel :
So I’m not going to give you a list of things to look out for because I actually believe that doesn’t help at all.
I think the most important thing to do is start paying attention to your own feelings inside while you are with that person. to make sure that you are meeting your own needs first. to pay attention to how you feel in the company of this person and I’m not talking about the in love feeling. how much you enjoy all the other interactions with this person and how this person reacts when you are meeting you are needs first on an ongoing basis. also picked up on the energy this person is emitting and how it is influencing you.
On some occasions it’s going to take you a while to realize someone is narcissistic or dysfunctional, but you will notice it after a short while if you are paying attention to your own needs and feelings, and then you can move on with grace.
The more healed you are inside as far as your emotional wounds the less your chances of actually ending up in a serious relationship with a narcissist. that’s why focusing on yourself is the most important criteria when it comes to narcissists and abuse.
Unfortunately the narcissist is like water he just molds to whatever receptacle he is poured into so sometimes it’s near impossible to pick up his narcissism from a checklist.
You are going to have to rely on your internal gauge. I believe this is the most important tool to living a healthy happy life and staying away from these dysfunctional characters. Link below to Daylight out of Darkness, “Shop Front”:
Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com/
Permission was granted via a Creative Commons License to include the long Quote above into this post.
After divorcing the Narcissist that she was married to, Tina Swithin went on to write a number of books to try and help others. If you are presently going thru (or are seriously contemplating) a divorce from your Narcissistic other, might I suggest that Tina Swithin‘s books could offer you insight from the battle trenches, from someone who has been there and gone thru that Hell.
Click on this link to visit Amazon.com to learn about Tina’s book titled: “Divorcing a Narcissist – One Mom’s Battle“.
Click on this link to visit Amazon.com to learn about Tina’s 2nd book titled: “Divorcing a Narcissist: Advice from the Battlefield“.
Click on this link to visit Amazon.com to learn about Tina’s 3rd book titled: “Divorcing a Narcissist: Rebuilding After The Storm“.
Click on this link to visit Amazon.com to learn about Tina’s latest book titled: “The Narc Decoder: Understanding the Language of the Narcissist “.
Divorce of any kind is far from pleasant. Divorcing someone with NPD is in a separate league of it’s own and can be full of unexpected surprises and unpleasant turmoil.
One last quote from the above article posted on the xojane website:
“While our marriage was horrible, our divorce has been a nightmare that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.”
The following quote is from the Amazon.com page for Tina’s 1st book:
“Tina soon discovered that there is only one thing more difficult than being married to a narcissist and that is divorcing a narcissist.”