Narcissists will try to Gaslight the victim that their actions were not abusive or that any problems in the relationship are totally the fault of the Victim. In the privacy of their shared home, the Disordered Individual will not give a 2nd thought to verbally and emotionally abusing their victim. But in public, their behavior changes to project a false image that are caring and loving, while the Victim is made out to be the abuser in the relationship. Crazy making is an apt description. Victims could end up with PTSD and Complex PTSD as a result of being exposed to long term Emotional Abuse.
Video is courtesy of the Kati Morton YouTube channel.
When you watch this video, note the Red Flags (like Love Bombing and Isolating the Victim and making the Victim dependent on the Abuser) which appeared “prior” to the physical abuse starting.
This video features Leslie Morgan Steiner, Beverly Gooden, Kit Gruelle, Mildred Muhammad who were Victims of Physical Abuse. They address why they had stayed in the Abusive Relationship. Kudos to these Brave Women for sharing their stories.
Video is courtesy of the Markay Media YouTube channel
Learn about and then watch for the Red Flags displayed by Disordered Individuals. The more Red Flags displayed, the more questions you should be asking about the individual displaying those Red Flags.
Click on this Link to visit the Why We Stayed Twitter page.
Click on this line to visit the Kit Gruelle website.
Click on this line to visit the Mildred Muhammad website.
Click on this line to visit the Beverly Gooden website
Click on this line to visit the Leslie Morgan Steiner Facebook page
In this TED Talks presentation Leslie Morgan Steiner explains “Why domestic violence victims don’t leave”.
Leslie Morgan Steiner says that she was in “crazy love” — that is, madly in love with a man who routinely abused her and threatened her life.
The video is courtesy of the TED YouTube channel
The relationship started out, by the Abuser Love Bombing her. She called it to Seduce and Charm the victim. Her future Abuser Idolized her and she stated that that he “believed” in her. Note that she uses the term “Soul Mate”. Watch for those Red Flags, they may be extremely important to your future health and well being.
Next the victim is isolated. She was moved away from her friends and family.
About a week before she married her Abuser, he choked her and bashed her head into a wall. When the bruises on her neck cleared, she went ahead and married her Abuser.
She got the “I’m sorry” story and that it would never happen again. She did get Abused again, and on a regular basis.
Trauma Bonding, in my opinion, kept her in the relationship. Listen to the language which she uses to describe her Abuser.
There is something else which kept her in that Abusive Relationship. That was her “Silence” about it. I know that statement may not sit well with some readers. Listen carefully at the end of the video, where Leslie Morgan Steiner clearly states that the end of her Abuse started when she “started talking about it”.
She talked to the Police about it – very very important first step. She talked to the neighbors about it. She talked to all her friends and family about it. The key is that she “Talked About It“. She let people know that she was being Abused and people helped her. If someone does not know about your abuse, then they cannot help you. “Talking about her Abuse to others”, helped to break her bonds to the Abuser
Talking about your Abusive Relationship to “everyone” Is the Major Message of this video. No one deserves to be Abused. Abusers program those being Abused “Not to Tell“. When one stays quiet about being Abused, they are giving power over themselves to the Abuser. Abuse is about having power and control over someone. Abusers want those being abused, “to keep their mouths shut”. As soon as one tells others about being abused, their Abuser loses all of his or her power and control. Saying something about being Abused could help to set the Victim free.
Click on this Link to read a prior post about a female being turned into a Human Torch because she dared to leave a Disordered Individual. She was burned alive because the guy “didn’t accept being abandoned”.
Note also the major Red Flag indicated by the abuse that her Abuser had apparently received from his Step Father from the age of four. Major Trauma suffered by an infant and a young child is IMHO a Major Red Flag that such an individual could be a Disordered Adult.
Those Red Flags could be extremely important. Learn about them and then watch for them. The more Red Flags that show up, the more questions should be raised about the individual displaying those Red Flags
Click on this link to visit the official Leslie Morgan Steiner website.
Click on this Link to visit the official Leslie Morgan Steiner Facebook page.
Scroll down the article. About 1/2 way down there are four photos of a cute female. One photo is of a female in a white T-Shirt with Give Peace in large red letters (I suspect that was a John Lennon quote “Give Peace a chance”). In that area they are posting about what the shooter’s ex-wife said.
MAJOR Red Flag – his ex-Wife said that they met online and “within weeks” decided to get married. It takes months and sometimes years to get to know someone. Within weeks you really have no clue who or what you are going to marry IMHO.
His ex-Wife moved away to live with her new Husband. That to me is another Major Red Flag. She was being isolated, by being taken to another State far from any possible support from friends and family.
She apparently started to receive Beatings. That Physical Abuse apparently started within months of their wedding. Like I stated above, to decide to marry someone within weeks of meeting them, is plain asking for trouble. IMHO, one has no clue who or what they are going to marry within only a few weeks of the first meeting. Your mileage may differ.
His ex-Wife’s parents learned that she was being physically abused. They flew down to Florida and removed their daughter from where she and her husband were living. They left all her belongings and left. His ex-Wife went total No Contact. Divorce was handled by Lawyers. Her husband apparently tried to make contact. His ex-Wife maintained No Contact.
Major insight. No Contact did what it was supposed to do, in this case it protected the ex-Wife from potential future physical abuse and emotional harm.
His ex-Wife states in the article that she believes that her parents had literally saved her life.
Click on this line to read the Washington Post article about this event. That Washington Post article was referenced by the Mail Online article. It has bits of info, but the Mail Online article presents key insights.
I feel sorry about the loss of life from the Florida Shootings. But I think from the perspective of this website, this is a story within a story. The mail Online article to my mind only, proves how important Red Flags can be. The article also proves in my mind only, how important it is to go No Contact and especially where there was physical abuse, to stay No Contact.
His ex-Wife is lucky, that she had confided in her parents about the apparent Beatings she was receiving. That is another insight from this. One should inform family and friends when there is any kind of physical or emotional abuse. Friends and Family can help. Superb Parental Action to immediately fly down and take there daughter away.
Major Life lesson. Learn about the Red Flags and then watch for them.Seeing multiple Red Flags means something. Knowledge gives one the power to make better choices in life.
Police wearing body cameras capture the result of a horrific beating a woman had received. Because of the body camera video, the husband who beat his wife was charged and convicted and is now serving a 10 year jail sentence.
Yes he is in jail, but has justice been served? He gets free Room and Board for 10 years, with 3 meals a day cooked for him. Just look at the woman’s face in the screen capture pic. She had been getting this kind of abuse for 10 years. Absolutely sickening.
Is the photo below showing you, your future?Photo of Gale Marmoy is a screen capture (which we made) from the Police video
Her husband had apparently been beating this woman for about a decade before being convicted. Clear example of Trauma Bonding or Stockholm Syndrome on the part of the victim.
If you are presently in an abusive relationship, then seek out the Police and your Health Care Professionals to help you to get out of that abusive relationship before it “Kills You“.
Abuse is real. Being abused is not the fault of the victim. Trauma Bonding is very real, but those bonds can be broken with the help of your Medical Professionals.
No one deserves to be abused.
Watch the video to see how cool he was when the Police arrived at his door after he beat his wife. IMHO he displayed Psychopathic traits. It was bizarre how he calmly asked his wife (whom he called Dawn) if she wanted to speak to the Police. It was as if nothing had happened to give a reason for the Police to have shown up. As if he had done nothing wrong. If the Police had not come, he was not going to call his wife an ambulance or take her to the hospital.
What kind of person could be so Heartless and lacking in Empathy, to behave in this manner? Well lets see, a Malignant Narcissist in a rage and of course a Psychopath could do extreme damage to someone in the blink of an eye. Afterwards they could even blame the victim. Such disordered individuals lack Empathy for the suffering of others.
It boggles my mind how someone could do something like this, yet sadly it happens all too often.
Video is courtesy of the OfficialHantsPolice YouTube channel