I was reading a blog post (on another site) about a woman who had borrowed her Narcissist’s car, to visit a Doctor to get some surgical stitches removed. If all went well she would have plenty of time to pickup the Narcissist.
Complications took extra time and she arrived almost 1/2 hour late to pickup the Narcissist.
Instead of asking how things went at the Doctor, the Narc verbally laid into the lady because she was late. The Woman was still in severe pain from getting surgical stitches removed. So what! Narcissists do not care about you. They only care about themselves.
She called him on his callous responses to her. He never did ask how the Doctor’s visit went.
Possibly due to the Doctor’s visit, the lady stood up to the Narc’s Verbal Abuse and called him a Bully. Her standing up for herself pissed the Narc off. He raised his arm and it looked like he was about to strike the woman, but he was able to control himself. She then told him to go ahead and hit her.
The following is my two cents worth “opinion”:
When you are being Verbally Abused, leave the situation if possible. At a Red Light, exit the car and tell the Narc that you will see him at home. That stops the verbal abuse. The Narc expects to belittle you, to gain control over you in this situation. By leaving the situation, you are going No Contact – if only for a short time.
By leaving, you deescalate the situation. You also take power away from Narc, because he will no longer be able to verbally abuse you.
In my opinion it was not a good idea to goad a Narcissist, by telling them to Go Ahead and Hit you. Legally you are giving them permission. If you call the Police, the Narc is great at playing the innocent one and playing people.
Hey, he could tell the Police Officer that you and him are into S&M Sex, but only when the other party gives permission. He could say that you gave him permission to hit you. If it goes to family Court, the Narc’s Lawyer will twist your statement against you. The key is that you will admit that you told him to hit you. Never give any abuser that kind of remark. Talk to your local Law Enforcement Authority about how saying something like that, could tie up the hands of the Police Officers and the Court.
You goaded your Narc, by telling him to hit you. So he goes ahead and hits you. Do you think that it will stop with one single punch??? If Narcissistic Rage takes over your Narcissist, your face could become black and blue with blood running down your broken nose. After they wire your lower jaw back in place, you will be having dinner via a straw for a long time. When you are finally allowed to eat solid food, you could find it difficult to chew due to all the missing teeth that your Narc knocked out.
Do not play with fire. A friend ended up in the Hospital for months after her Malignant Narcissist went to town on her. Her horrific experience is what motivated the creation of this blog.
Speak to your Lawyer and to Local Law Enforcement about your legal rights regarding Domestic Violence and Abuse. Ask them how it could harm your legal position if you told the Narcissist to hit you. There is also info about the US Domestic Abuse Hotline with phone number visible on the main page of this blog. Also a link in the large menu at the top of the Blog. It is a resource which could be of great help. Call and find out how they can help you.
Never forget that Narcissists are Disordered Individuals. If Narcissistic Rage takes over, then you have no idea just how much physical damage they can do to you. Do not play with fire. Do not goad any Abuser by telling them to Hit You. Every year, people die at the hands of their Abuser.
Disclaimer: The above is just “my opinion”. It is not meant to be any kind of Legal Advice. Do your own due diligence and seek out your own Legal Counsel.
When you watch this video, note the Red Flags (like Love Bombing and Isolating the Victim and making the Victim dependent on the Abuser) which appeared “prior” to the physical abuse starting.
This video features Leslie Morgan Steiner, Beverly Gooden, Kit Gruelle, Mildred Muhammad who were Victims of Physical Abuse. They address why they had stayed in the Abusive Relationship. Kudos to these Brave Women for sharing their stories.
Video is courtesy of the Markay Media YouTube channel
Learn about and then watch for the Red Flags displayed by Disordered Individuals. The more Red Flags displayed, the more questions you should be asking about the individual displaying those Red Flags.
Click on this Link to visit the Why We Stayed Twitter page.
Click on this line to visit the Kit Gruelle website.
Click on this line to visit the Mildred Muhammad website.
Click on this line to visit the Beverly Gooden website
Click on this line to visit the Leslie Morgan Steiner Facebook page
In this TED Talks presentation Leslie Morgan Steiner explains “Why domestic violence victims don’t leave”.
Leslie Morgan Steiner says that she was in “crazy love” — that is, madly in love with a man who routinely abused her and threatened her life.
The video is courtesy of the TED YouTube channel
The relationship started out, by the Abuser Love Bombing her. She called it to Seduce and Charm the victim. Her future Abuser Idolized her and she stated that that he “believed” in her. Note that she uses the term “Soul Mate”. Watch for those Red Flags, they may be extremely important to your future health and well being.
Next the victim is isolated. She was moved away from her friends and family.
About a week before she married her Abuser, he choked her and bashed her head into a wall. When the bruises on her neck cleared, she went ahead and married her Abuser.
She got the “I’m sorry” story and that it would never happen again. She did get Abused again, and on a regular basis.
Trauma Bonding, in my opinion, kept her in the relationship. Listen to the language which she uses to describe her Abuser.
There is something else which kept her in that Abusive Relationship. That was her “Silence” about it. I know that statement may not sit well with some readers. Listen carefully at the end of the video, where Leslie Morgan Steiner clearly states that the end of her Abuse started when she “started talking about it”.
She talked to the Police about it – very very important first step. She talked to the neighbors about it. She talked to all her friends and family about it. The key is that she “Talked About It“. She let people know that she was being Abused and people helped her. If someone does not know about your abuse, then they cannot help you. “Talking about her Abuse to others”, helped to break her bonds to the Abuser
Talking about your Abusive Relationship to “everyone” Is the Major Message of this video. No one deserves to be Abused. Abusers program those being Abused “Not to Tell“. When one stays quiet about being Abused, they are giving power over themselves to the Abuser. Abuse is about having power and control over someone. Abusers want those being abused, “to keep their mouths shut”. As soon as one tells others about being abused, their Abuser loses all of his or her power and control. Saying something about being Abused could help to set the Victim free.
Click on this Link to read a prior post about a female being turned into a Human Torch because she dared to leave a Disordered Individual. She was burned alive because the guy “didn’t accept being abandoned”.
Note also the major Red Flag indicated by the abuse that her Abuser had apparently received from his Step Father from the age of four. Major Trauma suffered by an infant and a young child is IMHO a Major Red Flag that such an individual could be a Disordered Adult.
Those Red Flags could be extremely important. Learn about them and then watch for them. The more Red Flags that show up, the more questions should be raised about the individual displaying those Red Flags
Click on this link to visit the official Leslie Morgan Steiner website.
Click on this Link to visit the official Leslie Morgan Steiner Facebook page.