Category: Go No Contact

Charming Narcissists are the most dangerous

 

Charming Narcissists are the most dangerous.

Yes, even more dangerous than a Malignant Narcissist.

A Charming Narcisist will suck you in, with their charm and huge tooth filled smile. A friend of mine described one to be much like a Spider. Once they trap you in their web, they will feed off you.

A Malignant Narcissist on the other hand, does not care what impression they are making. All they care about is getting their way or what they want. Much easier to pick out and stay away from. No Contact works best,  if you can.

Dr. George Simon has written another great post about Charming Narcissists. In the past I had been targeted and fell into the web created by more than one Charming Narcissist. Thankfully I now know what to look for. Knowledge is the Key.

I have watched a major Narcissist target and mirror someone while there were many others around. No one picked up on the fact that the Narc was Mirroring. It was blatent, and in plain sight. The body position of the narc was dramatically and quickly changed to match the body position of the prey. Hands and arms postions were mirrored. Once positioned the Narc turned on the Charm, pretending to care. The only person that Narcissists care about are themselves. Because it was so blatant, it stands out in my mind.

Click on the following link to visit Dr. George Simon’s website to read his superb article titled
“Charming Narcissists Manipulate Well”

Click on the following link to visit the Psychology Today website to read their post by Nina W. Brown Ed.D, titled
“Beware the Charming Narcissist
How you get sucked in.”

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Sometimes you are unable to Go NO CONTACT. Man kills both his daughters and shoots his ex-wife.

When you have kids with a Disordered Individual,
it “may not be possible” to Go No Contact.

Video is courtesy of the Inside Edition YouTube channel

IMHO the shooter in the above case could have been either a Psychopath, Sociopath or a Narcissist – all at the extreme and very dangerous end of the spectrum. He killed his daughters, but only shot the wife with one bullet in the leg. Why? So that she would survive and continue to suffer the aftermath of losing her twin daughters.

Video courtesy of the World News YouTube channel

In his 911 call, he was rather calm and calculating. Also making the 911 call got him his “attention fix“. He called the Police and flaunted that he had killed his daughters and shot his wife and that there was nothing they could do about it because he was going to kill himself.

Note that his 911 call was all about himself – bragging in effect. Narcissists for example, do not apologize. The shooter was about to die (suicide), yet was not even remotely close to being apologetic for what he had just done to his own daughters.

Compare his tone and composure while making that 911 call, to the call made by his Ex-Wife. His Reptilian wired Brain lacked emotional connection. The shooter just killed both of his own children and yet there was a total lack of care or Empathy. His Ex-Wife’s Human wired Brain became flooded with emotion (filled with care and Empathy for her two kids being shot). Their two brains were wired very differently, in effect a Hardware issue. I doubt that therapy could correct the wiring difference, which in my opinion developed during the shooter’s infancy.

Click on this Link to visit the Inside Edition and read more details.

Go No Contact strategies.

Go No Contact strategies.

Realize that there is a great life beyond what disordered Narcissists will offer you.

Streamed live on Feb 23, 2017

This is the book club live stream for How To Do No Contact Like A Boss!: A Guide to Detaching from Toxic Relationships for Intuitives, Empaths & Sensitives” by Kim Saeed

Note that there were apparently technical issues “at the start” of this video.  Keep watching, as there is “lots of insightful info” discussed in this video.

Video is courtesy of the Thrive After Abuse YouTube channel

You can join the last Thursday of every month for a book club discussion! For a list of the books check out: http://www.thriveafterabuse.com/bookclub

Going No Contact. Empaths and Codependents. Setting Boundaries.

Going No Contact can open the door to one’s freedom from being abused in a Relationship with a Narcissist.

Lisa has some insights into the “Creationof Codependents. Not a typo – I agree with her observation that Codependents are “created”.

Narcissists look for and Target Codependents and Empaths.

Video is courtesy of the Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc. YouTube channel

Quote “Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.” by Mandy Hale

Narcissist Quote “Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.” by Mandy Hale.

This quote nicely explains the reasoning behind going No Contact with that Narcissist.

Source: Patricia on Pinterest saved to Quotes & Thoughts folder

Quote “If you decide to go No Contact, then be prepared to Expect the Unexpected, from the Narcissist.”

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Quote:If you decide to go No Contact, then be prepared to Expect the Unexpected,
from the Narcissist.

 

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Annabel Lee discusses the Smear Campaign which came after she went No Contact with her Narcissist.

Annabel Lee details Smear Campaigns and what happens when you go No Contact with that Narcissist and how she handled the situation.

The Narcissist is unable to keep their mask for long periods of time. Eventually their mask will come off and people will start to notice it. Have patience and play the “Long” game. Narcissist can fool people in the short term, not so much in the long term when their mask slips off too often…

Annabel Lee’s video gives one hope. She has unfortunately been there and done that with Narcissists. She is also a proponent of going No Contact.

Video is courtesy of the Annabel Lee YouTube channel

Quote: “When a Narcissist can no longer control you, they will instead try to control how others see you.”

maymay_mcmay5/1/2016 6:19:20 AM

 

Quote:When a Narcissist can no longer control you, they will instead try to control how others see you.

Going No Contact, means the Narcissist can no longer get Narcissistic Supply from you. When that happens, the Narcissist could switch to trying to control how others view you. Never forget that Narcissists work with Stealth, when they start their Smear Campaign behind your back.

Your reputation, especially at a job, is extremely important and as such could become the target of the spiteful Narcissist. After you have dared to Go No Contact with a Narcissist make sure to maintain extra contact with others at your place of work, especially with those in positions higher up the ladder than your job title.

Trying to go No Contact (or as little as possible contact) with a Narcissist could have benefits, but could also create unbelievable problems and issues. There is nothing like finding out that the Narcissist told the people who you report to, that the Narc can’t stand working there because you are there. Of course the Narc forgot to also inform them that the Narc used to constantly tell you that you were oh so Wonderful. The Narcissist could set out to punish you by starting a smear campaign behind your back, when you have the audacity to go as little as possible to No Contact with the Narc.

If you decide to go No Contact, then be prepared to Expect the Unexpected from the Narcissist.

Recovery and Changes after leaving her Narcissist and going No Contact

She states that she “needed” to get out of her relationship with a Narcissist. After going No Contact, Laura describes some of her changes on her journey of Recovery.

Video is courtesy of the LauraBlue YouTube channel

Consider going No Contact when a person threatens your peace of mind, values, self-respect, morals or self-worth.

Quote "Consider going No Contact when a person threatens your peace of mind, values, self-respect, morals or self-worth." by uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

 

Quote:Consider going No Contact when a person threatens your peace of mind, values, self-respect, morals or self-worth.

The above framed quote is actually a photo – JPG file.
Copyright 2016 https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com
Feel free to share under Creative Common License Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International

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The power of going No Contact

I have read different opinions posted on blogs regarding going No Contact. Everyone’s mileage may differ. I have seen how someone going Little to No Contact affects Narcissists.

When a Narcissist targets someone, what do they do? The Narcissist will go “Full Contact”, via their Love Bombing. Going No Contact is the opposite of Love Bombing. It is unknown territory for a Narcissist.

The Narcissist is affected, I believe because of their very fragile ego.

Depending on how prized one was as a Source of Narcissistic Supply, the Narcissist could sustain a “major” Narcissistic Injury from someone going No Contact. I had rescued one Somatic Narcissist. She tried to commit suicide after her high grade source of Narcissistic Supply went No Contact.

The following video shows the power of going No Contact. It is not about Narcissists. It is about an armed robber. The analogy is the same. The Narcissist comes to rob one of something important. The store robber comes to rob the owner of something important. For either robbery to work, the target must react in a specific manner. When the Target goes No Contact, the Robber’s mind becomes messed up with what is happening.

BTW I am in way recommending to ignore and turn your back on someone pointing a gun at you. The Store Owner in this video had a huge amount of Testicular Fortitude, to do what he did…

Video is courtesy of the BBC News YouTube channel

Going No Contact With A Narcissist really is the Ultimate Revenge

Lisa E Scott is an author and runs a website called Get Over a Narcissist.

Say that you were targeted by a Narcissist. You had learned about the Red Flags. Once you started watching for those Red Flags, they started showing up in droves, but only when you interacted with the Narcissist.  The Narcissist’s Mask started to slip and more Red Flags showed up.

You were able to overcome their Psychological Manipulation. You got to see past the Love Bombing fake Persona. You got to see the Narcissist for what they really are.

You feel emotionally abused. You were lied to and taken advantage of by the Narcissist. It is only human nature to think about seeking revenge. Paying them back.

My suggestion is to stop thinking about getting revenge. You are “not” like them. You don’t hurt people. It is not worth your time and effort. Don’t fight with Narcissists, simply because you will not win.

The most powerful thing that you can do, is to Go No Contact. When you react, the Narcissist will feed off your emotion. When you do nothing, the tables are turned.

When you Go No Contact (or as Little as possible Contact), you trip up the Narcissist. They can’t feed off your emotions. They can no longer pull your strings and play you like their puppet. They need your attention. They need their fix of Narcissistic Supply. You going No Contact pulls the rug out from under the Narcissist. Going No Contact is very powerful and it works.

Lisa has a very good post on her site about wanting to get revenge against a Narcissist

Click on this link to visit lisa’s website called “Get Over a Narcissist” to read her post titled “No Contact With A Narcissist, Narcissistic Ex – The Ultimate Revenge“.

How to Deal with Cunning Deceitful Manipulative People

This video introduces a new term “Cunning Deceitful Manipulative People” and how to deal with them at work.  Listening to the video, the author is describing tactics of Narcissists.

The presenter describes effective coping strategies. Start by learning about the Manipulators Tactics. In other words watch for the Red Flags, which are always given off by what the presenter calls Cunning Deceitful Manipulative People.

Don’t fight with them, because you can’t win.

Make sure that you have a social network to help support you. Set boundaries and don’t allow yourself to be talked into moving them.

Run if you can, in other words Go No Contact.

Lots of sound advice from the trenches…

Video is courtesy of the Ammar Mango YouTube channel

Florida Mass Shooting also has insights

Click on this line to read the Mail Online news article (UK based News).

Scroll down the article. About 1/2 way down there are four photos of a cute female. One photo is of a female in a white T-Shirt with Give Peace in large red letters (I suspect that was a John Lennon quote “Give Peace a chance”). In that area they are posting about what the shooter’s ex-wife said.

MAJOR Red Flag – his ex-Wife said that they met online and within weeksdecided to get married. It takes months and sometimes years to get to know someone. Within weeks you really have no clue who or what you are going to marry IMHO.

His ex-Wife moved away to live with her new Husband. That to me is another Major  Red Flag. She was being isolated, by being taken to another State far from any possible support from friends and family.

She apparently started to receive Beatings. That Physical Abuse apparently started within months of their wedding. Like I stated above, to decide to marry someone within weeks of meeting them, is plain asking for trouble. IMHO, one has no clue who or what they are going to marry within only a few weeks of the first meeting. Your mileage may differ.

His ex-Wife’s parents learned that she was being physically abused. They flew down to Florida and removed their daughter from where she and her husband were living. They left all her belongings and left. His ex-Wife went total No Contact. Divorce was handled by Lawyers. Her husband apparently tried to make contact. His ex-Wife maintained No Contact.

Major insight. No Contact did what it was supposed to do, in this case it protected the ex-Wife from potential future physical abuse and emotional harm.

His ex-Wife states in the article that she believes that her parents had literally saved her life.

Click on this line to read the Washington Post article about this event. That Washington Post article was referenced by the Mail Online article. It has bits of info, but the Mail Online article presents key insights.

I feel sorry about the loss of life from the Florida Shootings. But I think from the perspective of this website, this is a story within a story. The mail Online article to my mind only, proves how important Red Flags can be. The article also proves in my mind only, how important it is to go No Contact and especially where there was physical abuse, to stay No Contact.

His ex-Wife is lucky, that she had confided in her parents about the apparent Beatings she was receiving. That is another insight from this. One should inform family and friends when there is any kind of physical or emotional abuse. Friends and Family can help. Superb Parental Action to immediately fly down and take there daughter away.

Major Life lesson. Learn about the Red Flags and then watch for them.Seeing multiple Red Flags means something. Knowledge gives one the power to make better choices in life.

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Lisa Thomson offers 3 tips for those who go “No Contact” with the Narcissist

Going “Low Contact” to going “No Contact” is easy to write, but not so easy to do. Lisa Thomson‘s video offer some tips on the how and why of the process.

3 tips for going No Contact with the Narcissist

Video is courtesy of the Lisa Thomson YouTube channel

Lisa is also the author of helpful book. Click on this line to visit Amazon.com to learn more about her book Titled
The Great Escape: A Girl’s Guide To Leaving a Marriage

Click on this to visit Lisa Thomson’s website

Click on this line to learn more info about Lisa Thomson.

Click on this line to visit the Huffington Post website, where Lisa also blogs.

Posted to uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

103 Things You No Longer Have to Deal With When You Go No Contact With a Narcissist

Watch this video and see if Angie missed a thing or two which you had to deal with, during your relationship with an abusive Narcissist.

A rather good video to watch for those who are considering getting back together with their Narcissist.

Video is courtesy of the Angie Atkinson YouTube channel

Click on this line to visit Angie Atkinson’s website called “Queen Being“.

After Narcissistic Abuse, things to do so you can move forward

Excellent points are made in this video, about what to do during your recovery After Narcissistic Abuse.

Video is courtesy of the Inner Integration YouTube channel