Category: How male Narcissists pick their Female Targets

Why you fell in Love with a Narcissist

A really good video, which explains how you became attached to your Narcissist.

Video is courtesy of the Balance Psychologies YouTube channel

Narcissists will Target you, depending on how you answer their line of questioning

Will someone miss you? Will someone be there to help you? Do you have family in the same city? What did you do on the weekend? Do you have lots of friends which can provide you with lots of support?

This video also has valid suggestions about how to deal with a Narcissist Boss at work. Narcs will leave you alone at work, if they feel that you are not so vulnerable and if they need your skill set. I’ve crossed paths with Narcs very high up the Corporate Ladder and the advice  in this video is accurate.

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A Narcissist looks for, finds and then targets you. It’s not by accident that they came into your life.

Quote "A Narcissist is not just something that you find. A Narcissist looks for, finds and then targets you. It's not by accident that they came into your life." by

Quote “A Narcissist is not just something that you find. A Narcissist looks for, finds and then targets you. It’s not by accident that they came into your life.”


The above framed quote is actually a photo – JPG file.
Copyright 2016
Feel free to share under Creative Common License Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.



Who are Narcissists Nice to? Who do Narcissists Target? Who do Narcissists Cheat with?

In this video three important questions are asked and answered:

1. Who are Narcissists Nice to?
2. Who do Narcissists Target?
3. Who do Narcissists Cheat with?

Video is courtesy of the Narcissist Free YouTube channel

The Narcissist Free YouTube channel features many extremely informative videos about Narcissists, their Targets and Narcissistic Victim abuse. It is an excellent resource to visit.

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What made you the “perfect” Target of a Narcissist?

What made you the “perfect” Target of a Narcissist?

Targeting of individuals occurs all the time. We pick our friends, and they clearly are not just anybody.

This video gives some insight into what made you a Dream Target to a Narcissist.

video is courtesy of the Randy Andretti YouTube channel

Narcissists do not pick people at random. Christine Louis de Canonville stated something intriguing in her seminar titled “Narcissistic Victim Syndrome….What the heck is that?”. She stated that once you have been “primed” by a Narcissist, then you will attract Narcissists by the boatload. That is a very important point to remember if in the past you had been used and abused by a Narcissist. Other Narcissists can seemingly pick you out a crowd.

I’ve learned two things that Narcissist look for in potential targets. One is empathy. That seems unusual because Narcissist lack empathy themselves, yet they test potential targets to see how much if any empathy the Target displays. How does the target react to a sad story? Coming from a Narcissist it is more than likely that it will be a made up sad story, just to test your reaction.

video is courtesy of the Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach YouTube channel

The 2nd thing that I have learned that Narcissists watch for is “giving”.


Is the potential target a Giver or a Taker? A Narcissist’s interest in you will be triggered, if you give them anything. Even you giving the smallest thing matters. No it does not matter in the way that you might think. Narcissists don’t care about your kind giving heart beyond what he/she might be able to manipulate you into giving to them.

The following is some of the Narcissist’s thought process: “You had unexpectedly brought me something. Hmmm, What else might you give me in the future.? It is very useful to have someone who will give me things.”. Those are the kinds of thoughts which go thru a Narcissist’s mind.

Most of the Narcissists that I have crossed paths with were “Extremely Cheap“. It shows up after the Love Bombing phase is over and they have you hooked. Not just being “extremely Thrifty“, they were “Extremely Cheap“. You the Target, will be doing all the giving and they the Narcissist only know how to do the taking.


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How male Narcissists pick their female targets / victims

This is a very informative video by Sam Vaknin. It details how male Narcissists pick their female targets / victims.

Video is courtesy of the Narcissism Videos YouTube channel

In Summary, how do Narcissists pick their female partners?

Below are three key quotes from Sam Vaknin’s presentation:

Usually, they choose for partners submissive women whom they disdain for being well below their intellectual level.


They team up with women who serve as Sources of SNS (Secondary Narcissistic Supply). The woman’s chores are to accumulate past Narcissistic Supply (by witnessing the narcissist’s “moments of glory”) and release it in an orderly manner to regulate the fluctuating flow of primary supply and compensate in times of deficient supply.


Most male narcissists are misogynists. After all, they are the warped creations of women. Women gave birth to them and moulded them into what they are: dysfunctional, maladaptive, and emotionally dead. They are angry at their mothers and, by extension at all women.

The Narcissist is always “testing the waters“, always looking for a new source of Narcissistic Supply, The potential New Targets are almost always below the Narcissist’s Intellectual level, otherwise the Narcissist would not get the rush from feeling “superior”.

A very good additional article which sheds more light is Titled:
The Narcissists Addiction to Narcissistic Supply

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