A friend made an interesting comment. It was about a female Somatic Narcissist which we both know.
My friend made a comment that she was much like a Spider. She would create a fine Spider’s Web to trap you in. Once trapped she would do whatever she wanted to you.
She could be devilishly charming, always wanting to be the center of everyone’s attention. She made sure that everyone knew that she was there. She would work at trying to build you up. Love Bombing you with compliments and talk of being kindred spirits. Eventually the “Discard phase” would arrive with the backstabbing and smear campaign.
The idea of her being like a Spider was interesting.
Narcissists really are like Spiders. They build a web of lies and half truths, much like a Spider builds it’s Spider’s Web. Once they have their prey in their web, the Spider will feed off it. With the Narcissist you become a Source of Narcissistic Supply, which they will feed on. Eventually they find a new and to them better Source of Narcissistic Supply, so you get discarded. All that is left of a Spider’s prey is an empty shell. Survivors of narcissistic abuse will tell you that they are not the same person that they were before hooking up with their Narcissist.
Narcissists lack Empathy for others. Spiders also don’t care about the prey that they trap in their web. Both Spiders and Narcissists will happily Feed off their prey. Both Spiders and Narcissists are also always looking to trap more victims in their web.
My friend is not knowledgeable about the DSM-4 & 5 profile of people afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but his analogy of referring to this female as being like a Spider was extraordinarily perceptive and in my opinion sadly dead on. She is clearly someone to stay the hell away from.
1 Question That Reveals a Narcissist: “The Science of Us” Episode 9
Video is courtesy of the New York Magazine YouTube channel
Being in a relationship with a Narcissist once is your life, is in my opinion one time too many.
This video presentation is from the heart by someone who sadly has been there and done that.
How to spot a narcissist next time round before it’s too late.
Quote below is from what was posted with the video on the Daylight out of Darkness YouTube channel :
So I’m not going to give you a list of things to look out for because I actually believe that doesn’t help at all.
I think the most important thing to do is start paying attention to your own feelings inside while you are with that person. to make sure that you are meeting your own needs first. to pay attention to how you feel in the company of this person and I’m not talking about the in love feeling. how much you enjoy all the other interactions with this person and how this person reacts when you are meeting you are needs first on an ongoing basis. also picked up on the energy this person is emitting and how it is influencing you.
On some occasions it’s going to take you a while to realize someone is narcissistic or dysfunctional, but you will notice it after a short while if you are paying attention to your own needs and feelings, and then you can move on with grace.
The more healed you are inside as far as your emotional wounds the less your chances of actually ending up in a serious relationship with a narcissist. that’s why focusing on yourself is the most important criteria when it comes to narcissists and abuse.
Unfortunately the narcissist is like water he just molds to whatever receptacle he is poured into so sometimes it’s near impossible to pick up his narcissism from a checklist.
You are going to have to rely on your internal gauge. I believe this is the most important tool to living a healthy happy life and staying away from these dysfunctional characters. Link below to Daylight out of Darkness, “Shop Front”:
Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com/
Permission was granted via a Creative Commons License to include the long Quote above into this post.
Video is courtesy of the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors YouTube channel
This is video #4 in this series on red flags of a Narcissist. Like with all the other videos, not every Narcissist will have every red flag, nor will they have every red flag to a troubling degree. Pay attention to the red flags and get out sooner than later.
Narcissists do not get better, and they will always cause chaos and destruction in your life as long as they are in it.
Video is courtesy of the Narcissist Support YouTube channel
The following is great video by Monica Hoyt. In it she details Narcissism Symptoms: What they look like in everyday life. Hope this helps you to confirm what your gut has been telling you about your Narcissistic partner.
Watch for the Red Flags which Christine outlines. If you finally realize that you are dealing with a narcissist, then it could be in your best interest to go “No Contact“.
Narcissists have no empathy for others. Christine attests to that, in this video. She discusses the years of Therapy, which she needed, to help her recover from her involvement with a Narcissist.
This is a reblog of a post on the Hooking Up Smart site. We thank them for allowing us to share this informative post:
In the discussion following a recent post about one woman’s iPhone infidelity, Mike asked: Just curious, you had the post on this is what good guys look like and red flags for bad guys, I’d be interested if you have a comparable list on how to identify the red flags for bad girls who are […]
When the Narcissist no longer needs to use you as a source of Narcissistic Supply, because they have secured a new source, they “will discard you”. That is when the Narcissist’s Mask will come off and you will get to meet a totally different person.
The person you fell in Love with, never existed. You fell in Love with the Narcissist’s False Self, which they projected. You fell for their Mask and when that Mask slips off, it can be shocking.
UPDATE: I recently posted about why victims “could not” leave very physically abusive relationships. View that “Why Abuse Victims stayed” post and it’s video by clicking on this line. Note how the victims referred to the person who was abusing them. They were still in Love with the Fake Persona which had been presented to them during the Love Bombing phase.
In this video Ross Rosenberg answers 12 important questions about narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
1. What is narcissism?
2. Is there healthy narcissism?
3. Why do narcissists get angry when confronted?
4. Why are narcissists judgmental of others?
5. Why do narcissists behave superior and entitled?
6. Can Narcissistic Personality Disorder be cured?
7. Does our society celebrate or value narcissism?
8. Does narcissism get worse over time?
9. When does reality catch up to the narcissist?
10. How do you spot a narcissist?
11. How do you set healthy boundaries with narcissists?
12. What happens when you break up with a narcissist?
Ross Rosenberg is the author of the book, which is available from Amazon.com and is titled:
“The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us“
Originally posted at https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com