Red Flags are mentioned on this site very often. They are important signs which can help one learn that they are in a relationship with a Disordered Individual.
Jodie met Chris on Facebook. Jodie mentioned that Chris was “very charming”. Disordered individuals can be extremely charming. Within 10 months they were married. Disordered individuals are well versed in Love Bombing.
Within months of the marriage, her husband started to control Jodie. Major Red Flag.
Jodie was also systematically isolated from her friends and family. He made sure that he had cut her off her from any possible support. Major Red Flag.
Video courtesy of the From Surviving To Thriving!! YouTube channel
Only he had access to the bank account. Another Major Red Flag.
The physical abuse then heraled the post Love Bombing phase. He now had total control of Jodie. It started with him spitting at her face. NOT a wonderful sign of affection between and husband and his wife.
It is hard to admit that one made a mistake of getting into a relationship with a disordered individual. Seek Help by visiting your local Law Enforcement agency. There are support lines which can provide guidance. Spitting in her face was nothing compared to what he did to her later. She became his punching bag.
When she was pregnant with his child, he physically attacked and punched the hell out of her.
Please click on this link to visit THE SUN‘s website to read their exclusive article about what happened to Jodie Bywater.
I hope that something like this will never happen to you !!!
See how many Red Flags you can spot. This is a horrific story. It opens our eyes to the fact that Disordered Individuals are out there. Watch for those Red Flags.
Stephen Gane was found guilty and jailed for four years for coercive behaviour and ‘Gaslighting‘ in landmark case. He drove Kellie Sutton to hang herself, only five month after beginning a relationship with her.
Kellie was a Mother of 3 children. She had been single for a couple of years before she was targeted by Stephen Gane.
Her grieving family read the following in court: “Kellie was a daughter, a sister, a niece, a granddaughter, a great grand daughter and a mother. She was caring, funny, affectionate, bubbly and kind. She was a loyal friend – the kind of person who would go out of their way to help others. She could not bear to see anyone suffering and would put herself out to help anyone. She didn’t have a bad bone in her body.“
From this we can see that Kellie was an Empath. Disordered Individuals can spot an Empath from a mile away. Within weeks of meeting her, Steven moved into “her house”.
Kellie’s friend had this to say “I told her to stay away from him because he seemed controlling.”. She disliked Stephen and you can be sure Stephen made sure that Kellie was kept away from her friends.
Stephen Gane denied hurting Kellie. He said they loved each other but their relationship was sometimes ‘volatile’. Disordered Individuals will never admit to doing anything wrong.
He was found guilty of actual bodily harm and one charge of assault by beating. One must assume that splitting her head open, was his way of showing his Love and Affection.
Disordered Individual will target someone (like you) to “USE” you. Note that Stephen Mane showed “No evidence of sadness or regret“. Disordered Individual could care less about others. They do not care how much pain and sorrow they create for others, as long they get what they WANT.
There are MILLIONS of Disordered Individuals, like Staphen Gane, out there. Please watch for the Red Flags. Please listen to your friends, who may spot odd behaviour which signal danger to them.
The only positive thing which will come from the death of this young woman is that she gave her life to spare her children untold horrors which were waiting for them. Imagine having someone like Stephen Gane being the father figure to her three kids? He would have destroyed those kids. Over the 5 months that he lived in Kellie’s house, I’m sure that her kids were tramatized. I hope that they can receive Psychiatric help to help get over the loss of their Mother and over the Traumas caused by Stephen Gane.
The most horrible thought is that he will get out of jail and will seek a new victim. Disordered Individuals cannot be fixed. Their brains are hard wired differently.
A relationship to a Disordered Individual, such as a Narcissist, is all about them gaining Control over their Target.
You will note one Major Red Flag and Danger Sign mentioned in this video. The Target/Victim became ISOLATED from Friends and Family. A Disordered Individual will work to isolate the Target. That allows greater control of the Target. As you become more and more Isolated, you will become much more vulnerable. Kellie Sutton became isolated and her only option to escape was Suicide.
Click on this link to read the Daily Mail article titled “Mother’s heartbreak after daughter was driven to suicide by her former soldier boyfriend as he is jailed for four years for coercive behaviour and ‘gaslighting’ in landmark case“.
This is a seldom mentioned Red Flag. Narcissists could try to isolate their Target / Victim from friends and family.
When you are isolated, you can be very easily controlled and manipulated.
When you are isolated, there is a greater possibility of the Narcissist’s abuse escalating and becoming physical.
Video is courtesy of the From Surviving To Thriving!! YouTube channel
Attempts to isolate you can be Early Warning Signs. Watch for this Narcissist Red Flag.
Scroll down the article. About 1/2 way down there are four photos of a cute female. One photo is of a female in a white T-Shirt with Give Peace in large red letters (I suspect that was a John Lennon quote “Give Peace a chance”). In that area they are posting about what the shooter’s ex-wife said.
MAJOR Red Flag – his ex-Wife said that they met online and “within weeks” decided to get married. It takes months and sometimes years to get to know someone. Within weeks you really have no clue who or what you are going to marry IMHO.
His ex-Wife moved away to live with her new Husband. That to me is another Major Red Flag. She was being isolated, by being taken to another State far from any possible support from friends and family.
She apparently started to receive Beatings. That Physical Abuse apparently started within months of their wedding. Like I stated above, to decide to marry someone within weeks of meeting them, is plain asking for trouble. IMHO, one has no clue who or what they are going to marry within only a few weeks of the first meeting. Your mileage may differ.
His ex-Wife’s parents learned that she was being physically abused. They flew down to Florida and removed their daughter from where she and her husband were living. They left all her belongings and left. His ex-Wife went total No Contact. Divorce was handled by Lawyers. Her husband apparently tried to make contact. His ex-Wife maintained No Contact.
Major insight. No Contact did what it was supposed to do, in this case it protected the ex-Wife from potential future physical abuse and emotional harm.
His ex-Wife states in the article that she believes that her parents had literally saved her life.
Click on this line to read the Washington Post article about this event. That Washington Post article was referenced by the Mail Online article. It has bits of info, but the Mail Online article presents key insights.
I feel sorry about the loss of life from the Florida Shootings. But I think from the perspective of this website, this is a story within a story. The mail Online article to my mind only, proves how important Red Flags can be. The article also proves in my mind only, how important it is to go No Contact and especially where there was physical abuse, to stay No Contact.
His ex-Wife is lucky, that she had confided in her parents about the apparent Beatings she was receiving. That is another insight from this. One should inform family and friends when there is any kind of physical or emotional abuse. Friends and Family can help. Superb Parental Action to immediately fly down and take there daughter away.
Major Life lesson. Learn about the Red Flags and then watch for them.Seeing multiple Red Flags means something. Knowledge gives one the power to make better choices in life.