Category: Love Bombing

Codependence – Patterns and Characteristics

CoDA.org holds meetings similar to Alcoholics Anonymous. Those with Codependent tendencies can meet, share and talk.

Codependence stems from not receiving the Love, Care, Attention and Confirmation and Praise which “you deserved” when you were a child. The child’s sense of self is not allowed to develop. Codependence, is in my opinion, a survival mechanism developed by the child and carried over into adulthood.

There are people, such a Narcissists , who will search for and pick up on someone’s Codependent tendencies. Narcissists are well versed in Psychological Manipulation Techniques to reel in their Codependent targets. Codependents are easily duped by the Narcissist’s Love Bombing. The Narcissist’s Love Bombing provides the Codependent Target, that which the Target had never received from their parents, when they were a child. Unfortunately the Love Bombing was never something real. It was just another Psychological Manipulation and Control Technique used by disordered individuals such as Narcissists.

A Licensed Therapist can help one to figure out the Triggers of Codependent Tendencies. Realizing the Self Doubt and Self Sabotage and negative Self Talk is the first step towards healing. Healing opens the door to finding a Healthy relationship and could also help to limit you being targeted by Disordered Individuals such as Narcissists.

The Codependents anonymous meetings held, by CoDA.org, in your local area could be helpful tool on your road to recovery. Speak to your Therapist about CoDA.org. Also find out if your licensed Therapist holds Group Therapy sessions. You are not alone. Sadly many have had parents who were clueless about proper parenting and helping their children grow and develop their Self Worth and Self Esteem. It is my opinion that Codependence is created by abysmal parenting.

Click on the link below to view the CoDA.org document titled: Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence.

http://coda.org/index.cfm/meeting-materials1/patterns-and-characteristics-2011/

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They are not complimenting you. They are covertly using Indirect Persuasion, to Groom your behavior.

Once they have you hooked via their Idealization and Love Bombing. it will be time to covertly Condition your behavior. Indirect Persuasion will be disguised as compliments. Those innocent sounding compliments, are in fact covert Psychological Conditioning aimed at getting you to behave in specific ways.

There is a very good post, well worth your time to read,  on the Psychpathfree website titled :

Grooming is Not Always Idealization: Indirect Persuasion

There is a reason why they Love Bomb you with their Fake Persona. Psychological Manipulation Techniques work.

Quote "He pushed her down a flight of stairs. He held a loaded gun to her head. Leslie Morgan Steiner would not leave that abusive relationship because: "No one in my life had ever made me feel so safe, loved, beautiful and validated as her did during the early months of our relationship". There is a reason why they Love Bomb you with their Fake Persona. Psychological Manipulations Techniques work." by uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

QUOTE: “He pushed her down a flight of stairs. He held a loaded gun to her head. Leslie Morgan Steiner would not leave that abusive relationship because:
“No one in my life had ever made me feel so safe, loved, beautiful and validated as he did during the early months of our relationship”. There is a reason why they Love Bomb you with their Fake Persona. Psychological Manipulation Techniques work.

This Quote pic was inspired by an article which Leslie Morgan Steiner had written in The Washington Post. We had featured that article in a prior post on this site. Click on this link to visit The Washington Post site to read the article which was titled “He held a gun to my head. I loved him..

The use of the quote by Leslie Morgan Steiner I believe falls under the Fair Use Provision of Copyright. I make no claims regarding the copyright of said quote.

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Love Bombing Stage


Narcissists Love Bombing Stage

Video is courtesy of the SelfLoveU YouTube channel

Click on this link to visit Jenna Ryan’s website called The SelfLoveU Blog

Click on this Link to visit Jenna Ryan’s SelfLoveU Facebook Page

Love bombing and expensive gifts. Episode 2 of Narcissist Suzie gets a New Victim


It’s been a while since we mentioned a begood4000 animation video. This one is Episode 2 of the series: Narcissist Suzie gets a New Victim. It highlights the Narcissist’s use of Love Bombing and buying Expensive Gifts.

Video is courtesy of the begood4000 YouTube channel

Click on this line to view our prior post which introduced Narcissist Suzie. In that post the video was titled: Narcissist Suzie gets a new victim. Episode 1 – Falling into the trap.

Tell me again, how you feel that we are Soul Mates and Kindred Spirits.

 

Quote: "Tell me again how you feel that we are Soul Mates and Kindred Spirits. Oh, before I forget, can I ask you a big favor? Whenever you are finished Backstabbing me, could you please remove all those knife blades." by uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Quote:Tell me again how you feel that we are Soul Mates and Kindred Spirits. Oh, before I forget, can I ask you a big favor? Whenever you are finished Backstabbing me, could you please remove all those knife blades.

 

The above framed quote is actually a photo – JPG file.
Copyright 2016 https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com
Feel free to share under Creative Common License Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

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Love Bombing insights from the Trenches

Must view video filled with insights about Love Bombing and other Red Flags.

Her new Lover was talking about Marriage very shortly after their first meeting. This woman became so Psychologically Manipulated by the Love Bombing, that she bought her Wedding Dress within the first 2 weeks of meeting that new Lover. Classic Love Bombing and Major Red Flag. Love Bombing worked faster than Brain Washing / Mind Control techniques. The new Lover was in the mean time also seeing another woman.

The person Love Bombing you, is also Mirroring you. That establishes a very deep rapport and trust in the mind of the victim being Psychologically Manipulated. That deep Rapport and Trust is something which keeps physical Abuse Victim in Abusive Relationship.

The Victim dismisses being kicked down a fight of stairs and reminds herself of the beginning of the relationship when the Love Bombing and Mirroring were going on at full speed. She tells herself that he was so sweet and so charming and amazing and so lovable. The fact that he now punches her in the head multiple times and gives her Black Eyes on a regular basis, does not dislodge the Mind Control established during the Love Bombing phase. The abuse is dismissed because she is still “in Love” with the fake Persona she met during the Love Bombing phase.

Love Bombing is not about Love. Love Bombing is strictly about establishing Control over the Victim.

Video is courtesy of the Truthball In Search of Goof YouTube channel

One thing to note is how this woman kept attracting Disordered Individuals. Christine De Canonville noted in a seminar that once you have been with a Disordered Individual, you have been primed and other Disordered Individuals will spot you in a crowd and target you.

11 Lies that Love Bombing Narcissists tell by Kim Saeed

Kim Saeed runs a website called Let Me Reach.

Click on this link to visit Kim Saeed’s website to read her post “Exposed! 11 Lies Love-Bombing Narcissists Tell. Yet, more lies and Red Flags from Narcissists.

Kim listed 11 Lies. I would add one more to her list.

12 – You must be my Soul Mate or We must be Soul Mates. There could be many other variants of them having found their Soul Mate in you. We are “Kindred Spirits” is another line of BS,  with similar meaning.

Red Flags of Codependency. Being prone to Love Bombing is Red Flag #1 of Codependents

Narcissists use Love Bombing to reel in their prey. Codependents tend to be very prone to be taken in by Love Bombing techniques.

The video starts off with a description of what Love Bombing looks like.

Very well presented Red Flag from the point of view of the Codependent Target/Victim. Her analogy of an empty bucket is food for thought.

Video is courtesy of the Thrive After Abuse YouTube channel

Love Bombing and the “You are my Soul Mate” scam

Angie Atkinson has some great videos on her YouTube Channel. The video below goes well with our recent prior post about the “You are my Soul Mate” hook. That nonsense line is given out by Narcissists, during the Love Bombing phase.

The Soulmate Scammer: How to Identify a Love Bombing Narcissist

video courtesy of the Angie Atkinson YouTube channel

When I look at you I see my Soul Mate. I feel that we are Kindred Spirits

A Narcissist looks deeply into your eyes and softly says that when they look at you they see their “Soul Mate“. Your heart rate increases. Your face starts to flush. Your Fight or Flight response shuts down. You become enamored. Your judgements becomes clouded. You believe the Narcissist and feel oh so wonderful having found “Your Soul Mate“.

A variant of the above is having the Narcissist take you aside (they would not want other potential Targets to hear) to inform you that they feel that the both of you are “Kindred Spirits“.

Not so fast. Heck you hardly know each other. It could be a Red Flag called Love Bombing, which is a tactic commonly used by Cluster-B Disordered individuals such as Narcissists.

Generally you get such “Bullshit” lines when the Narcissist wants something, which they believe that they can con you into “giving to them”.

It could be something physical, like maybe providing a roof over their head when they move into your “Home”. Narcissists are rather good at planning ahead, “for themselves”.

It could be that you are wealthy and the Narcissist feels that it would only be proper if a “Soul Mate” shared their wealth with another “Soul Mate”.

It could be that you are rather Handsome or Beautiful. The Narcissist would feel so proud parading you around on their arm. The Trophy Wife syndrome.

Maybe you are extremely popular and or famous. In such a case the Narcissist will happily tag along to all those special events that you get invited to. That helps to keep their fragile Ego well inflated.

It could be that they are having a bad month. Their last source of Narcissistic Supply finally got fed up and went No Contact. The Narcissist needs Narcissistic Supply, not unlike a Drug Addict needing their fix.

You may not be rich or beautiful or famous. You’re just a normal average human being, who has an internal desire to be find someone to love and to be loved back. As such, to the narcissist you are nothing special.

A Cerebral Narcissist, for example, would not give you a second thought because to them you just are not good enough and so unworthy of becoming their Source of Narcissistic Supply. Unless they are down on their Source of Narcissistic Supply. In such a case they will gladly “use” anyone. Heck when they find a way better Source of Supply, they can unceremoniously dump you. For now they open their bag of tricks and start with the Love Bombing.

Are you still glad the Narcissist told you that they see you as their “Soul Mate” or that you both are “Kindred Spirits“?

Google’s Search Engine is your friend. Do some searches for “Support for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse” and variations of that. You will find many Yahoo Groups, websites and Facebook Groups filled with individuals who in their past, had been used and abused by one or more Narcissists. Visit those groups and ask the prior victims whether they still feel that the Narcissist was ever their “Soul Mate“.

When someone whom you barely know (it could be a co-worker or someone that you met in a bar) starts talking about you and them being “Soul Mates” or being “Kindred Spirits“, take a deep breath. Such talk could very well be an indication that you are dealing with a personality disordered individual.

Been there and heard that. If the nonsense talk of “Soul Mates or Kindred Spirits” comes up, I remain polite. If it happens on a first date, I still try to have a fun evening. When I take my date home, I decline her offer to come in for a night cap drink. A night cap invite, is really an invite to spend the night,

Yes, becoming intimate with pretty much a stranger can be enjoyable. It could also emotionally trap you in the land of regrets. If someone is that easy and eager to get into bed with you, then they could be just as easy and eager to get into bed with someone else (or anyone else for that matter). Of course your mileage may differ. On my way home, I make a mental note to have as little as possible to do with that person again.

Have I ever considered that the “Soul Mates” “Kindred Spirits” nonsense was the real deal? Look, when you barely know someone, they do not know you. The only thing that they have any knowledge of, is how you look physically. But it is what is inside that counts. They have “not” spent enough time with you, to discover “you”. In my opinion, they are only feeding you a line to hook you. I step back and ask myself why would someone do that?

Click on this line to view our prior post which features an animated video of a female Narcissist using the Love Bombing technique with the “Soul Mate” hook.

 

Copyright 2016 https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com
Feel free to share under Creative Commons License with attribution to “Uniquely Narcissistic”

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Narcissist Red Flag “When I look at you I see my Soul Mate. I feel that we are Kindred Spirits”

A Narcissist looks deeply into your eyes and softly says that when they look at you they see their “Soul Mate“. Your heart rate increases. Your face starts to flush. Your Fight or Flight response shuts down. You become enamored. Your judgements becomes clouded. You believe the Narcissist and feel oh so wonderful having found “Your Soul Mate“.

A variant of the above is having the Narcissist take you aside (they would not want other potential Targets to hear) to inform you that they feel that the both of you are “Kindred Spirits“.

Not so fast. Heck you hardly know each other. It could be a Red Flag called Love Bombing, which is a tactic commonly used by Cluster-B Disordered individuals such as Narcissists.

Generally you get such “Bullshit” lines when the Narcissist wants something, which they believe that they can con you into “giving to them”.

It could be something physical, like maybe providing a roof over their head when they move into your “Home”. Narcissists are rather good at planning ahead, “for themselves”.

It could be that you are wealthy and the Narcissist feels that it would only be proper if a “Soul Mate” shared their wealth with another “Soul Mate”.

It could be that you are rather Handsome or Beautiful. The Narcissist would feel so proud parading you around on their arm. The Trophy Wife syndrome.

Maybe you are extremely popular and or famous. In such a case the Narcissist will happily tag along to all those special events that you get invited to. That helps to keep their fragile Ego well inflated.

It could be that they are having a bad month. Their last source of Narcissistic Supply finally got fed up and went No Contact. The Narcissist needs Narcissistic Supply, not unlike a Drug Addict needing their fix.

You may not be rich or beautiful or famous. You’re just a normal average human being, who has an internal desire to be find someone to love and to be loved back. As such, to the narcissist you are nothing special.

A Cerebral Narcissist, for example, would not give you a second thought because to them you just are not good enough and so unworthy of becoming their Source of Narcissistic Supply. Unless they are down on their Source of Narcissistic Supply. In such a case they will gladly “use” anyone. Heck when they find a way better Source of Supply, they can unceremoniously dump you. For now they open their bag of tricks and start with the Love Bombing.

Are you still glad the Narcissist told you that they see you as their “Soul Mate” or that you both are “Kindred Spirits“?

Google’s Search Engine is your friend. Do some searches for “Support for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse” and variations of that. You will find many Yahoo Groups, websites and Facebook Groups filled with individuals who in their past, had been used and abused by one or more Narcissists. Visit those groups and ask the prior victims whether they still feel that the Narcissist was ever their “Soul Mate“.

When someone whom you barely know (it could be a co-worker or someone that you met in a bar) starts talking about you and them being “Soul Mates” or being “Kindred Spirits“, take a deep breath. Such talk could very well be an indication that you are dealing with a personality disordered individual.

Been there and heard that. If the nonsense talk of “Soul Mates or Kindred Spirits” comes up, I remain polite. If it happens on a first date, I still try to have a fun evening. When I take my date home, I decline her offer to come in for a night cap drink. A night cap invite, is really an invite to spend the night,

Yes, becoming intimate with pretty much a stranger can be enjoyable. It could also emotionally trap you in the land of regrets. If someone is that easy and eager to get into bed with you, then they could be just as easy and eager to get into bed with someone else (or anyone else for that matter). Of course your mileage may differ. On my way home, I make a mental note to have as little as possible to do with that person again.

Have I ever considered that the “Soul Mates” “Kindred Spirits” nonsense was the real deal? Look, when you barely know someone, they do not know you. The only thing that they have any knowledge of, is how you look physically. But it is what is inside that counts. They have “not” spent enough time with you, to discover “you”. In my opinion, they are only feeding you a line to hook you. I step back and ask myself why would someone do that?

Click on this line to view our prior post which features an animated video of a female Narcissist using the Love Bombing technique with the “Soul Mate” hook.

 

Copyright 2016 https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com
Feel free to share under Creative Commons License with attribution to “Uniquely Narcissistic”

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Save

Narcissist Suzie gets a new victim. Episode 1 – Falling into the trap.

This video gives one an insight into the behaviour, thinking and traits of a Narcissist. I love the line in the video where she states “I think you are my Soul Mate“. That line, and variations of it, is a Narcissist favorite to use during the Love Bombing phase.

BTW, once you have been “primed” by a Narcissist, other Narcissists are able to pick you out of a crowd (see this prior post about a really informative lecture from Christine De Canonville).

Narcissist Suzie gets a new victim.

Video is courtesy of the begood4000 YouTube channel

“Pacing and Leading” is a Psychological Manipulation Technique used by Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths

In the past I have discussed Psychological Manipulations Techniques used by Narcissists, such as Love Bombing and Mirroring. Well their bag of Mind Control techniques does not stop at Love Bombing and Mirroring.

Next up, lets discuss “Pacing and Leading“.

“Pacing and Leading” is another Psychological Manipulation Technique commonly used by Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths. They will Love Bomb you. They will Mirror you. They will use Pacing and Leading. They want to establish Rapport without you realizing that it is all fake and is being done in an attempt to “control you“. Once Rapport is established, your natural defense mechanism will be turn off, “by you”.

Love Bombing, Mirroring, Pacing and Leading work.

That is why Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths are so well versed in these Psychological Manipulation Techniques. For you this is all new. The Narcissist knows that you and most people have never even heard of this stuff.

Video is courtesy of the Dantalion Jones YouTube channel

 

 

Posted to uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Have you just met your “Soul Mate”?

What wouldn’t anyone give to meet their “Soul Mate“? Someone who is attentive and oh so charming. The constant texting and or phone calls to tell you that they “Love You”. They say the things which you so much want to hear. They are sweeping you off your feet.

If your new Love Interest is a Narcissist, they eventually will be sweeping you under the rug. They are oh so charming, until you find out why they were so charming. Wake up, they want something.

Video is courtesy of the Beverly Banov Brown,M.S. YouTube channel

Your newly found “Soul Mate” Narcissist is Love Bombing you. That is a Psychological Manipulation Technique used to get you to drop your instinctive guard when meeting new people. They want to totally shutdown your natural fight or flight response. Once that response is shutdown, then they can take total control of you, yes you. Do you still think that you have met your “Soul Mate”?

The constant communications and contact with your newly found “Soul Mate”, is also helping to isolate you from other people. They know what they are doing, as they have had lots of prior practice. You on the other hand are naive and trusting. Been there, done that.

Like other videos by Beverly Banov Brown, I’m glad that I can share them here via YouTube. Her videos are to the point and I hope that everyone finds them to be informative.

Love Bombing is a major Red Flag to watch for. Narcissist hide their Love Bombing in plain sight. They use Love Bombing because it works. The same reason why they also use Mirroring while they are Love Bombing you. Narcissists are very well versed in both of these Psychological Manipulation Techniques.

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Love Bombing is a Seductive & Manipulative tactic

The following link is to a rather good post discussing Love Bombing as being a Seductive & Manipulative Tactic which is commonly used by Narcissists.

Click on this line to read the post, authored by Ms. Alex Myles, titled “Love Bombing: a Seductive & Manipulative Technique“.

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

20 Identifiable Traits of a Female Narcissist

This is a reblog of a post on the Hooking Up Smart site. We thank them for allowing us to share this informative post:

In the discussion following a recent post about one woman’s iPhone infidelity, Mike asked: Just curious, you had the post on this is what good guys look like and red flags for bad guys, I’d be interested if you have a comparable list on how to identify the red flags for bad girls who are […]

Source: 20 Identifiable Traits of a Female Narcissist