Category: Narcissism

TEDx Talks presentation titled “Young Women, Narcissism and the Selfie Phenomenon” by Mary McGill

Mary McGill, a researcher and journalist, is working on her 4yr PhD by doing groundbreaking research on the Selfie Phenomenon. In this TEDX Talks presentation she discusses her research findings.

Mary McGill’s presentation is titled “Young Women, Narcissism and the Selfie Phenomenon“.

Video is courtesy of the TEDx Talks YouTube channel

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Financial Times article titled “Why do we fear Narcissism?”

The Financial Times newspaper website, has an interesting post. It’s titled: “Why do we fear Narcissism?“.

My quick response after reading the last line in that FT post: “The author of that article should get into a relationship with a Malignant Narcissist and then write about their oh so lovely experience.“. Yes experience has opened my eyes when it comes to Narcissists, but I digress.

Click on this line to visit the Financial Times website to read their ost titled “Why do we fear Narcissism?”.

Narcissism Book of Quotes by Sam Vaknin

Sam Vaknin has put together an excellent compilation of thoughts from over 12,000 discussions from the now defunct http://www.suite101.com site. Actually the site may be coming back – just not quite yet.

Usage tip. When the slides below start to display and if you have a mouse with a center wheel on the top of the mouse, place your cursor onto the displayed slide. Now turn that center wheel and you can scroll back and forth thru the slides, using the center wheel. I find it easier to do that, than to use the arrows just below the slide display.

Well worth the time to view each slide.

 

Click on this link to visit Sam Vaknin’s website

Click on this link to visit Amazon.com to leaarn more about the book titled “Malignant Self-Love” authored by Sam Vaknin

Professions, Jobs, and Vocations of Narcissists

This Sam Vaknin video discusses Narcissists and the Professions, Jobs, and Vocations to which they gravitate.

It was interesting to listen to Sam Vaknin discuss the inability of Narcissists to work as part of Team and to help other Team Members so that “the Team” can grow. The inability to function as part of a Team, I believe does lots of harm to the companies which employ Narcissists.

Video is courtesy of the Sam Vaknin Youtube channel

Click on this link to visit Amazon.com to view their Sam Vaknin page and to learn about Sam Vaknin’s book titled “Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited”.

Click on this link to visit Sam Vaknin’s awesome website at http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com . His website is filled with tons of information about Narcissists. Sam Vsknin is an expert in this field of study and has authored much of the jargon used to discuss Narcissists.

Click on this link to visit the official Sam Vaknin Facebook page.

Click on this link to visit the Sam Vakin Wikipedia page to learn some background info about Sam Vakin.

Dating Narcissists and Psychopaths by Sam Vaknin

Sam Vaknin is a key resource in the study of Narcissists and Narcissism. He is a twice diagnosed Narcissist. He is also the author/creator of much of the jargon which is used on online sites which discuss disordered individuals (this site included).

He was asked in this video, what it feels like to be a Narcissist. Sam Vaknin’s response was a surprising “It Sucks“. That response reflects on his own self discovery.

The other thing that impresses me is that Sam Vaknin’s posted material is available for sharing under a Creative Commons license. With Sam Vaknin I get the impression that he is on an intense mission to inform people about Narcissists like himself. It seems uniquely selfless.

Video is courtesy of the Sam Vaknin YouTube channel

Click on this Link to visit Sam Vaknin’s website.

Click on this Link to visit the Sam Vaknin Facebook Page.

Click on this Link to Download an MP3 audio file of this video talk.

Girlfriend leaves him. She returns to his apartment to talk. He tortures, mutilates and kills her. Then drains her body of all it’s blood.

Blake and his brother came from a wealthy family. His brother Cody went into Real Estate development, like his Dad. Two males from the same family, but with vastly different life choices. Wonder why?

Early in May 2016 Blake and his girlfriend Iana Kasian became parents. Later the same month, on May 20 Blake was charged with Sexual Assault (against another unknown female) and released on Bail.

A month or two before and after the birth of a baby all focus is on “the Baby“. News reports say that when Iana found out about the Sexual Assault charge, that she moved herself and her infant daughter out of Blake’s apartment to live with her mother.

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“Letter to his Father” written by Franz Kafka, details abuse by a Narcissistic Father.

Sigmund Freud released his essay “on Narcissism” in 1914.

Click on this line to view Freud’s Concept of Narcissism* by Sergio Benvenuto.

A few years after Freud released his essay, Franz Kafka wrote his Letter to his abusive narcissistic Father in 1919. The letter was given to his mother, who refused to pass it on to his father and returned it Franz.

De Kafka Brief an den Vater 001Franz Kafka [Public domain or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Wikimedia Commons has Jpeg photo files of all 104 pages of Kafka’s original letter draft. Click on this line to visit the Wikimedia Commons page to view their files. Note the letter was originally written in German.

The following are only some of the heart wrenching quotes from Kafka’s Letter to his Father:

“It is also true that you hardly ever really gave me a beating. But the shouting, the way your face got red, the hasty undoing of the suspenders and laying them ready over the back of the chair, all that was almost worse for me. It is as if someone is going to be hanged. If he really is hanged, then he is dead and it is all over. But if he has to go through all the preliminaries to being hanged and he learns of his reprieve only when the noose is dangling before his face, he may suffer from it all his life.

“Besides, from the many occasions on which I had, according to your clearly expressed opinion, deserved a beating but was let off at the last moment by your grace, I again accumulated only a huge sense of guilt. On every side I was to blame, I was in your debt.”

“You have always reproached me (either alone or in front of others, since you have no feeling for the humiliation of the latter, and your children’s affairs were always public)”

“There is only one episode in the early years of which I have a direct memory. You may remember it, too. One night I kept on whimpering for water, not, I am certain, because I was thirsty, but probably partly to be annoying, partly to amuse myself. After several vigorous threats had failed to have any effect, you took me out of bed, carried me out onto the pavlatche,* and left me there alone for a while in my nightshirt, outside the shut door. I am not going to say that this was wrong—perhaps there was really no other way of getting peace and quiet that night—but I mention it as typical of your methods of bringing up a child and their effect on me. I dare say I was quite obedient afterward at that period, but it did me inner harm. What was for me a matter of course, that senseless asking for water, and then the extraordinary terror of being carried outside were Two things that I, my nature being what it was, could never properly connect with each other. Even years afterward I suffered from the tormenting fancy that the huge man, my father, the ultimate authority, would come almost for no reason at all and take me out of bed in the night and carry me out onto the pavlatche, and that consequently I meant absolutely nothing as far as he was concerned. *Pavlatche is the Czech word for the long balcony in the inner courtyard of old houses in Prague. (Ed.)”

“That was only a small beginning, but this feeling of being nothing that often dominates me (a feeling that is in another respect, admittedly, also a noble and fruitful one) comes largely from your influence.”

“And it is characteristic that even today you really only encourage me in anything when you yourself are involved in it, when what is at stake is your own sense of self-importance

“What was always incomprehensible to me was your total lack of feeling for the suffering and shame you could inflict on me with your words and judgments. “

You reinforced abusiveness with threats and this applied to me too. How terrible for me was, for instance, that “I’ll tear you apart like a fish,” although I knew, of course, that nothing worse was to follow (admittedly, as a little child I didn’t know that)”

I am of the opinion that it would be time well spent reading Kafka’s entire letter. It may shock you. It may also bring a tear to your eye. If you find that you can personally relate to the abuse which Kafka described, my heart goes out you. No child (or adult for that matter) deserves such treatment.

The pain and suffering is internalized by the child. When the child internalizes the repeated Traumas, it results in pain and suffering well into adulthood (possibly life long).

A full English translation is available online thanks to Google Docs. Click on this line to visit the Google Docs page which displays the English translation of Franz Kafka’ Letter to his Father.

Click on this line to visit the The Kafka Project site, which has an interesting review of Kafka’s Letter to his Father.

May I also make a suggestion. It should not be taken as my giving any sort of medical advice. Speak to your own Therapist or Physician or other Medical Professional about whether it might be an “educational idea” for you to write your own letter to your past (or still present) abusive Narcissist. Again, doing so would be for your own personal and educational purposes. It is “my opinion” that any such  letter should be retained by you and not given to anyone. Again speak to your own Medical Professional about how to proceed, should you and your Medical Professional decide to go ahead with such a letter.

Video courtesy of The School of Life YouTube channel

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Lisa Thomson offers 3 tips for those who go “No Contact” with the Narcissist

Going “Low Contact” to going “No Contact” is easy to write, but not so easy to do. Lisa Thomson‘s video offer some tips on the how and why of the process.

3 tips for going No Contact with the Narcissist

Video is courtesy of the Lisa Thomson YouTube channel

Lisa is also the author of helpful book. Click on this line to visit Amazon.com to learn more about her book Titled
The Great Escape: A Girl’s Guide To Leaving a Marriage

Click on this to visit Lisa Thomson’s website

Click on this line to learn more info about Lisa Thomson.

Click on this line to visit the Huffington Post website, where Lisa also blogs.

Posted to uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Your Brain on Love, Sex and the Narcissist: The Addiction to Bonding with Our Abusers

Self-Care Haven by Shahida Arabi

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Your Brain on Love, Sex and the Narcissist: The Addiction to Bonding with our Abusers  

by Shahida Arabi 

*If you enjoy this post, please consider supporting Self-Care Haven by purchasing the e-book version of this article, which is an extended and more in-depth look into these biochemical bonds. All proceeds will go towards services for survivors. If you were inspired by this article and would like to write about about this perspective, please be sure to link back to the article. Thank you!

 April 27, 2015 

Many survivors of narcissistic abuse are confounded by the addiction they feel to the narcissist, long after the abusive relationship took a toll on their physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Make no mistake: recovery from an abusive relationship can be very similar to withdrawal from drug addiction due to the biochemical bonds we may develop with our toxic ex-partners.

Understanding why we are…

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“Attachment trauma and the effects of neglect and abuse on the brain” by Dr. Allan Schore

Dr. Allan Schore discusses “Attachment trauma and the effects of neglect and abuse on the brain“.

The development of severe Psychopathologies occurs during right Brain development, during very early childhood. Attachment Trauma and Abandonment Trauma are all stored in the right hemisphere of the Brain, even before the left hemisphere starts to develop.

That is why Brain Scans of Narcissists, Borderlines and Psychopaths show differences from the general population. Because of Attachment Trauma and Abandonment Trauma, the brains of those with Severe Psychopathologies are unable to to wire themselves normally. It is not nature. It is nurture and the severe lack of nurture which plays a major role in creating those with severe Personality Disorders.

Video is courtesy of the PsychAlive YouTube channel

Click on this line to visit the official website of Dr. Allan Schore.

Click on this line to visit the Wikipedia page to get some background info on Dr. Allan Schore.

Manipulators less convincing online than in person, UBC research shows


UBC psychology professor Michael Woodworth

If you have to negotiate business with a narcissist or psychopath, you’re better off doing it on Facebook, research from UBC Okanagan shows.

In one of the first studies of its kind, UBC researchers found that traditionally successful manipulators who are classified as being part of the Dark Triad (DT)—people with narcissistic, psychopathic or Machiavellian tendencies—don’t send very compelling online messages.

“The results of this study are pretty clear—once you remove non-verbal cues such as body language from the equation, the ability to smoke out narcissists and psychopaths becomes easier,” says UBC psychology professor Michael Woodworth.We can also conclude that it is very likely that the qualities that allow these people to successfully charm, manipulate, intimidate or exploit others appear to require a live, in-person audience.

The study, titled “The Dark Side of Negotiation”, was conducted between October 2013 and February 2014 and included more than 200 Canadian university students, a proportion of whom were identified as having various qualities on the DT spectrum.

After being randomly assigned to either a face-to-face or computer-mediated contact group, the students were asked to negotiate for concert tickets, either as a buyer or a seller, with the ultimate goal of achieving maximum financial benefit for themselves.

Consistent with other studies, Woodworth’s research concluded that those who ranked higher on the DT spectrum were more successful in face-to-face negotiations than they were online. Surprisingly, the research also concluded that higher-ranking DT participants were 12.5 percent less successful in online negotiations than those ranking lower on the spectrum.

Students’ placement on the spectrum varied depending on individual characteristics and attributes.

Each of the three parts of the DT has distinct traits. Psychopaths tend to lack empathy and be anti-social. Narcissists lean toward grandiosity and self-adoration. People with Machiavellian qualities are goal-oriented, calculated manipulators.

“While there has long been a fascination with DT personalities and how they can impact ‘ordinary’ people, little has been studied as to how these people behave online,” says Woodworth.

What this research tells us is that if you want to be confident in your ability not be taken in by these types of known manipulators, you’re probably better off dealing with them online.

Working with Woodworth on the project were honours student Lisa Crossley, graduate student Pamela Black and UBC Professor Emeritus Bob Hare. The study was published this month in the journal of Personality and Individual Differences.

Woodworth and Crossley are now conducting similar DT research involving deception.

Story Source:
The above post is reprinted from materials provided by University of British Columbia. Click on these 2 lines to view the original post on the UBC website.

The above was posted with permission from The University of British Columbia, as they publish under Creative Commons License as follow:

Uniquely Narcissistic Thanks UBC for permission to share this post.

Knowing Narcissism. Crucial Information about Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

 

Ross Rosenberg defines the huge difference between “Healthy Narcissism” and someone with “Narcissistic Personality Disorder“.

Video is courtesy of the Ross Rosenberg YouTube channel

In this video Ross Rosenberg answers 12 important questions about narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
1. What is narcissism?
2. Is there healthy narcissism?
3. Why do narcissists get angry when confronted?
4. Why are narcissists judgmental of others?
5. Why do narcissists behave superior and entitled?
6. Can Narcissistic Personality Disorder be cured?
7. Does our society celebrate or value narcissism?
8. Does narcissism get worse over time?
9. When does reality catch up to the narcissist?
10. How do you spot a narcissist?
11. How do you set healthy boundaries with narcissists?
12. What happens when you break up with a narcissist?

Ross Rosenberg is the author of the book, which is available from Amazon.com and is titled:
The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us

 

 

Originally posted at https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com