Category: Narcissist

Trauma Bonding with a Narcissist or Other Abuser. 10 Strategies to Get Free!

This site had been setup to try and help, by being a resource of information. WordPress.com hosts this site for me, at no charge. The advertising on this site is put there by WordPress, to help cover some of their costs. Because the site is hosted by WordPress for free, I am not allowed to place any advertising .

I believe that if one is trying to help, then one should not try to gain some benefit from providing said help. I “know” the damage a Narcissist can do to an Empathetic Human Being. I have attracted Narcs all my life. Why? Because I care and will try to help others. I have crossed paths with all sorts of Narcissists. They share many of the Red Flags.

Even with my experience I was unable to pickup any Red Flags from a new employer until I started working, at a new job. This Narc was totally Malignant. He kept a baseball bat in his office (definitely not to play Baseball) and bragged about it. Heck playing Baseball would mean that he could sweat and mess up his of so incredible hair (his words)!!! He would not go swimming for that same reason and made sure everyone in the office knew.  I had crossed paths with malignant Narcs whom I thought could be dangerous. This new Boss not only could be, but I felt that he would be dangerous. He also had a constant need to be the center of attention. Held functionally pointless meetings daily so he play the role of King.

I knew enough that there was no point of putting myself through the pain and mental anguish which would happen if I stayed. IMHO the best solution to dealing with a Narcissist is to GO NO Contact, especially a totally Malignant Narc. I came in on the Monday of my 3 rd week. Cleaned up the computers and quit – after 2 weeks and gave no notice – I just walked out before the Boss arrived. That Boss was likely as close to a Psychopath as I will ever come across.

In my younger years I knew some Bikers. One became a close friend. He literally scared the other Bikers. but did not scare me as I got know him, his wife and kids. It was amazing watching Ted with his daughters. Sorry I digress. That new Boss scared me because one had no clue and I felt there was no limit to what he could do. The thing that upset me the most is that I had not picked up on any Red Flags, until I started to work there. My 2nd week was a real eye opener when his Mask came off.

I bring this up because I feel that there is a decent foundation of information found on this site and as such I have not posted much. Looking for something else, I recently came across some incredible videos created by a Therapist about Narcissists and how to Deal with them. She created the videos to try to help. I was blown away. She has her name on the videos, but does not have any contact info. She does not ask for anything. She does not ask people to send money to fund the video site (as more than a few people do). She did it because she cares and will get no personally benefit. She also states in each video to share the material so that others may be helped. I personally believe that we are members of the same family called Human Beings and should try to help each. Yes, I’m an empath, and I really believe that helping others is one of the most important things in life. The others things are sharing Love and Forgiveness.

I will start to share Shannon Petrovich’s videos on this site. I firmly believe that “Going No Contact” is the only viable solution. But, it is easier to type that, than actually Going No Contact. Trauma Bonding is very real. The Narcissist’s Victim has also been isolated from any form of support, from Family or Friends. Narcs will demand that you get their permission to meet with members of your Family or Friends. By keeping you isolated, makes it easier to “Totally Control” you. Being kept isolated deepens the Trauma Bonding, making it Very Very hard to Go No Contact. This video explains the situation.

Video is courtesy of the Therapist Talks YouTube channel.

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Narcissists Do Not Love. They Hold Hostages!

Narcissists Do Not Love.

They Hold Hostages!

This quote by: Shannon Petrovich LCSW

Narcissists Do Not Love. They Hold Hostages! Quote by: Shannon Petrovich LCSW

Please feel free to share this “PNG” image file. In Windows, just place your cursor over the image above and then click your right mouse button. A menu will pop up. Next scroll your mouse cursor over the line “Save image as” to highlight it and then click the left mouse button. That will save the image file to your PC. You can then upload the image file, where you feel it might help others.

Divorcing the Narcissist – Full Seminar with Sam Vaknin, Sara Davison and Richard Grannon

Divorcing the Narcissist – Full Seminar

with Sam Vaknin, Sara Davison and Richard Grannon

Video is courtesy of the RICHARD GRANNON SPARTANLIFECOACH YouTube channel.

 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder – Psychology of Demons

Dr. Todd Grande describes Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Dr. Todd Grande describes Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder as outlined in the DSM 5, is characterized by
– a grandiose sense of self-importance,
– a preoccupation with unlimited success, feeling too special to    be understood by regular people,
– needing excessive admiration,
– a sense of entitlement,
– being interpersonally exploitative,
– having a lack of empathy,
– being envious and others and believe others are envious of        them,
– and being arrogant.

 

Video is courtesy of the Dr. Todd Grande YouTube channel

 

Even the slightest criticism is not well received by most people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. IMHO I believe it is because they have internalized rather Low Self Esteem.

 

Video is courtesy of the Dr. Todd Grande YouTube channel

Reduced Laughter Contagion in Children Could be the mechanism by which Narcissism, Antisocial Behavior and Psychopathy are developed

This new Medical Study sheds some light on one area of development of a child which could impact that’s child’s future.

If the young child is raised in an environment where there are no times of laughter among the people raising that child, then  the child could be negatively impacted. One example could be a Husband and Wife constantly bickering and fighting and never having time to laugh together. The Child could grow up in a sad home where the family never shared laughter together.

So something as simple of having laughter in a child’s life, could  impact their development into Human Beings who care and have empathy for fellow Human Beings.

I also suspect that this could be used in Junior Kindergarten. Bring in really funny movies for the kids to watch. The children could laugh together, which just might help develop empathy in those children who have never experienced laughter at home.

Click on this link to visit the Elsevier Inc website to read their Open Access Published Research Study by

Please note this Research Study was published Open Access, so there is No Pay Wall to cross to be able to read it. I personally am grateful for Open Access publishing of Research Studies.

Too often one has to pay to be able cross a Pay Wall to be able to read a Research Study and most Research is funded by Government Agencies which are funded by us the Taxed Payers. In my opinion it seems unfair to the Tax Payers to pay once to finance the Research Study and then have to pay a second time to be able to read the Research Study which Tax Payers helped fund.

One last note. William James (1842-1910) who was the first to offer a Psychology Course in the United States, created a great quote: “We don’t laugh because we’re happy, we’re happy because we laugh.

This could be another RED FLAG to watch for. Does the suspected Narcissist or Disordered Individual genuinely laugh along with others at a gathering? In a longer term relationship, do you both laugh together often or Not At All?

7 mind games commonly played by a narcissist, and ways to stay clear of them.

How to Spot the Difference between a Narcissist, a Psychopath, and a Sociopath.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, psychologist and author,  discusses the differences between Psychopaths, Sociopaths and Narcissists.

Video is courtesy of the MedCircle YouTube Channel.

Click on this line to visit Amazon.com to see the book “Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist” which Dr. Ramani Durvasula  has authored.

Charming Narcissists are the most dangerous

 

Charming Narcissists are the most dangerous.

Yes, even more dangerous than a Malignant Narcissist.

A Charming Narcisist will suck you in, with their charm and huge tooth filled smile. A friend of mine described one to be much like a Spider. Once they trap you in their web, they will feed off you.

A Malignant Narcissist on the other hand, does not care what impression they are making. All they care about is getting their way or what they want. Much easier to pick out and stay away from. No Contact works best,  if you can.

Dr. George Simon has written another great post about Charming Narcissists. In the past I had been targeted and fell into the web created by more than one Charming Narcissist. Thankfully I now know what to look for. Knowledge is the Key.

I have watched a major Narcissist target and mirror someone while there were many others around. No one picked up on the fact that the Narc was Mirroring. It was blatent, and in plain sight. The body position of the narc was dramatically and quickly changed to match the body position of the prey. Hands and arms postions were mirrored. Once positioned the Narc turned on the Charm, pretending to care. The only person that Narcissists care about are themselves. Because it was so blatant, it stands out in my mind.

Click on the following link to visit Dr. George Simon’s website to read his superb article titled
“Charming Narcissists Manipulate Well”

Click on the following link to visit the Psychology Today website to read their post by Nina W. Brown Ed.D, titled
“Beware the Charming Narcissist
How you get sucked in.”

Understanding Manipulation Tactics by Dr. George Simon

Understanding Manipulation Tactics.

Dr. George Simon was a past President of the Arkansas Psychological Association, and is a Board Certified Diplomate in Forensic and Clinical Psychology. Before retiring, Dr George Simon was a supervising psychologist for the Arkansas Dept. of Correction. You could correctly say that he is an Expert on the behaviour of Narcissists and Psychopaths. In his private practice he helped individuals trapped in relationships with personality disordered individuals.


Video is courtesy of the George Simon YouTube Channel


Video is courtesy of the George Simon YouTube Channel

When dealing with Narcissists, knowledge is power. When you know what behaviours to watch for, you can learn to pickout Narcissitic individuals. You may get a glimpse of what  may lay behind their mask.

Knowledge may help to prevent you from
becoming their next prey.

8 things a Narcissist cannot do for you. Posted on the A Conscious Rethink blog

Wendy Behary discusses strategies to help one deal with Narcissists.

Wendy Behary discusses strategies to help one deal with Narcissists. Wendy has more than two decades experience treating clients, training professionals and supervising psychotherapists. She is one of the founders of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey.

Video is courtesy of the Dr. Kimberley Taylor YouTube channel

Dr. Taylor interviews Author and Therapist Wendy Behary. She wrote the book:

Book cover image courtesy of Amazon.com

Click on the following link to visit amazon.com to view the book “Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed”.

One important point which Wendy Behary makes (around the 35:45 minute mark) is to set limits and boundaries and she has suggestions on how to do that. One way is to limit your exposure to the Narcissist, by having limited to no contact with the Disordered Individual.

In a work environment, if you do limit the Narcissist’s access to you then watch for the Narcissist moving into Back Stabbing and Smear Campaign mode. When you stop providing Narcissistic Supply, a Narcissist could work to get you fired and or destroy your reputation.

Click on this Link to visit the http://psychotherapyjournal.org site with a post featuring another interview with Wendy BeharyAlong with a video they have posted a written PDF transcript which you can download and read by clicking on their PDF link at the top of their screen Transcript. It gives one some insight how a 3rd party such as a Therapist might view a Narcissist’s behaviour. IMHO well worth downloading and reading their PDF Transcript.

How to treat someone who treats you badly

Ran across this post on the Experience Project site.

Click on this Link to visit the Experience Project to the read the post titled: “How To Treat A Guy That Treats You Bad.

See if you can pick up on some of the Narcissist’s Red Flags in that post. Things like Love Bombing, Blame Shifting and not taking responsibility for their actions (it’s always your fault).

Quote “You had no prior knowledge of Narcissists, Sociopaths or Psychopaths. Your Abusive Partner immediately picked up on that.”

Your abusive partner noticed that-t2-web

Quote:You had no prior knowledge of Narcissists, Sociopaths or Psychopaths. Your Abusive Partner immediately picked up on that.

 

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Creative Commons License
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Differences between Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Malignant Narcissism, and Psychopathy by Rhonda Freeman Ph.D.


Rhonda Freeman, Ph.D. details the differences between Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Malignant Narcissism, and Psychopathy. There are great similarities and also major differences. It’s a spectrum of disorders.

Video is courtesy of the Rhonda Freeman, PhD YouTube channel


Click on this link to visit Rhonda Freeman’s facebook page called Neuroinstincts.

Quote: “3 things a Narcissist is sure to break: Promises, Trust and Your Heart.”

Quote

Quote:3 things a Narcissist is sure to break: Promises, Trust and Your Heart.

Character Matters with Dr. George Simon – 2/19/2017

Dr. George Simon has an internet radio program at URL: ICY.TV, called “Character Matters.

Click on the following link to listen to the Feb 19 2017 archive (MP3 file) of his program which was about Narcissists.

Dr. George K. Simon is a clinical psychologist with over 20 years of experience working with people who have character disturbances and use covert aggression.

Dr. Simon’s book titled “In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People”, has been an International Best Seller for many years..

Click on the following Link to learn more about Dr. Simon’s International Bestseller titled “In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People”, on Amazon.com.

Click on the following link to go to Dr. George Simon’s website.

Click on this link to visit the official Dr. George Simon facebook page.