Category: Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Chatting with Dr. Ramani Durvasula Ph.D, an Expert on Narcisissism


Dr. Ramani Durvasula Ph.D, an Expert on Narcisissism, authored the book titled “Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Narcissistic Relationship“.

Video courtesy of the LAHWF YouTube Channel

Dr. Ramani Durvasula repeatedly mentions that Narcissists are made. I fully agree. Due to trauma during their early years, a Narcissist’s brain becoming hard wired differently. Brian scans confirm this. Once the “damaged” child grows up, you cannot change the way that their brain works.

Therapy cannot “fix” Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Click on the following link to visit Oprah.com where there is a Quiz by Dr. Ramani Durvasula titled “Is Your Partner a Narcissist?”.

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Why you fell in Love with a Narcissist

A really good video, which explains how you became attached to your Narcissist.


Video is courtesy of the Balance Psychologies YouTube channel

Differences between Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Malignant Narcissism, and Psychopathy by Rhonda Freeman Ph.D.


Rhonda Freeman, Ph.D. details the differences between Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Malignant Narcissism, and Psychopathy. There are great similarities and also major differences. It’s a spectrum of disorders.

Video is courtesy of the Rhonda Freeman, PhD YouTube channel


Click on this link to visit Rhonda Freeman’s facebook page called Neuroinstincts.

Documentary about Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Interesting documentary which details many aspects of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Sam Vaknin, Ph.D is featured in the later part of this documentary.

Video is courtesy of the Best Documentaries YouTube channel

Lecture detailing Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders by Dr. Elsa Ronningstam

Dr. Elsa Ronningstam presents a very detailed lecture about the symptoms and Traits of those with Borderline Personality Disorder and those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She also discusses the difference between BPD and NPD.

Video is courtesy of the NEA BPD YouTube channel

This video has very good information and lots of it. Unfortunately the good Doctor is not that great a presenter. Might I suggest to break up viewing this video into 10 to 15 minute segments.

Differences and similarities between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder

Dr. Kristi Webb discusses the Traits of those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Video is courtesy of the Dr. Kristi Webb YouTube channel

Informative video, but the framing drives me nuts. She should redo it, as no one is interested in looking at her ceiling tiles while she talks.

Click on this Link to visit the Dr. Kristi Webb Facebook page.

Girlfriend leaves him. She returns to his apartment to talk. He tortures, mutilates and kills her. Then drains her body of all it’s blood.

Blake and his brother came from a wealthy family. His brother Cody went into Real Estate development, like his Dad. Two males from the same family, but with vastly different life choices. Wonder why?

Early in May 2016 Blake and his girlfriend Iana Kasian became parents. Later the same month, on May 20 Blake was charged with Sexual Assault (against another unknown female) and released on Bail.

A month or two before and after the birth of a baby all focus is on “the Baby“. News reports say that when Iana found out about the Sexual Assault charge, that she moved herself and her infant daughter out of Blake’s apartment to live with her mother.

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Borderline Personality Disorder compared to Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Excellent video detailing the differences between Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

Video is courtesy of the Self-Care Haven YouTube channel

Most important Red Flags of a Narcissist

There are many Red Flags given off by Narcissists. Love Bombing for one. Mirroring is a big one, which I tend to consistently harp on about.

There are a couple of key things which the Narcissist will not hide from you. One is in my opinion the “most important Red Flag“. Ask the potential Narcissist about their childhood. Were they brought up by their Birth Mother? If they were still an infant and they were adopted out or given to other family members (say Grand Parents) to be brought up, that is themost important & biggest Red Flag“.

To better confirm that Red Flag, ask questions about the person’s Birth Mother? If there is any animosity or even outright hatred shown towards their Birth Mother, that is “yet another major Red Flag” which also confirms your perception of the biggest Red Flag.

It is my opinion that Narcissists are created due to Abandonment Trauma(s) suffered while still an infant, before the left hemisphere of the brain is developed. The Trauma(s) change how the Brain Develops – ie it’s a Hardware-Wiring issue and so Narcissists can not be changed via a treatment protocol.  MRI Brain Scans seem to confirm “my opinion”.

Joseph Burgo, in a radio interview, alluded to the coincidence that many diagnosed Narcissists had been abandoned in their early childhood. They were adopted out. They were transferred to other family members (Grandparents) to be cared for.

All the Narcissists who I got to know, had issues with their Mother. Yes the issues varied between a coldness to outright disdain.

Sam Vaknin wrote something confirming this in a review of the book titled “The Abandoned Child Within: On Losing and Regaining Self-Worth

Sam Vaknin wrote:

“Underneath this colourful maelstrom lies an hypothesis: pathological narcissism is the direct outcome of early childhood abuse and trauma, mainly in the form of abandonment or neglect. Narcissism, in other words, is a defense against hurt and emotional injury.”.

A female Somatic Narc had a pronounced dislike of her Mother. In stark contrast, she and her Dad were fine. Events in the past when one is an infant can have profound affects which can last a lifetime.

A Cerebral Narc would not speak to their Mother when she came in tears because her own Mother had just passed away. The Cerebral Narc’s Grandmother dies and the Narc could not be bothered to come and talk and try to comfort their own Mother. . Would a non Cluster-B Disordered Individual, who has Empathy for the suffering of others behave that way?.

Being brought up by other family members like Grand Parents can cause Abandonment Trauma. To the Grand Parents it’s a burden to “have to” feed, cloth and bring up their daughter’s infant child. They already brought up their own kids.

The distrust of the Birth Mother for being abandoned and sent off to live with strangers (yes they are Grand Parents and an adult understands that but an infant sees themselves being dumped off to some strangers) by the Narc can be life long.

Different people love very differently and sadly some not at all. That description includes Grand Parents. The infant had already lost life’s lottery by being born to a Mother who abandoned them and sent them away to live in another place. Good chance that the Grand Parents were not the kindest and most loving of individuals. So the infant losses again and possibly pays for such loss by developing a Personality Disorder which could prevent them from being able to establish and enjoy “Intimate and Loving” relationships.

Alice Miller has written a post on her site which ties a number of things together. Her post is titled: “The Ignorance or How we produce the Evil”. I’ll  have some quotes below, from that Alice Miller post.

Alice Miller wrote :

“Children who are given love, respect, understanding, kindness, and warmth will naturally develop different characteristics from those who experience neglect, contempt, violence or abuse, and never have anyone they can turn to for kindness and affection. Such absence of trust and love is a common denominator in the formative years of all the dictators I have studied. The result is that these children will tend to glorify the violence inflicted upon them and later to take advantage of every possible opportunity to exercise such violence, possibly on a gigantic scale. Children learn by imitation. Their bodies do not learn what we try to instill in them by words but what they have experienced physically. Battered, injured children will learn to batter and injure others; sheltered, respected children will learn to respect and protect those weaker than themselves. Children have nothing else to go on but their own experiences.

As Alice Miler stated “Children have nothing else to go on but their own experience”. If the infant child experienced Abandonment Trauma they they will not know how to Love someone. They will do to someone else, what had been done to to them. They will use them and abandon them.

Alice Miller also wrote :

The well-known American pediatrician Dr. Brazelton once filmed a group of mothers holding and feeding their babies, each in her own particular way. More than 20 years later he repeated the experiment with the women those babies had grown into and who now had babies themselves. Astoundingly, they all held their babies in exactly the same way as they had been held by their mothers, although of course they had no conscious memories from those early years. One of the things Braselton proved with this experiment was that we are influenced in our behavior by our unconscious memories. And those memories can be life affirming and affectionate or traumatic and destructive.”

It is my opinion, that It is not the Narcissist’s fault for developing such a Personality Disorder. It is up to you whether you want to get involved, in any kind of a relationship, with a Personality Disordered individual.

So recapping the two biggest and in my opinion most important Red Flags of a Narcissist. If you learn that the person was not raised by their Birth Mother that is IMHO the most important and biggest of all the Red Flags. Major issues with their Birth Mother is another confirming major Red Flag.

The more Red Flags that you can spot, the higher the probability that you are interacting with a Personality Disordered Individual.

Watch for the Red Flags.

What was always incomprehensible to me was your total lack of feeling for the suffering and shame you could inflict on me with your words and judgments.

Quote "What was always incomprehensible to me was your total lack of feeling for the suffering and shame you could inflict on me with your words and judgments." by Franz Kafka

Quote “What was always incomprehensible to me was your total lack of feeling for the suffering and shame you could inflict on me with your words and judgments.” by Franz Kafka from his 1919 Letter to his Father.

The above framed quote is actually a photo – JPG file.
Copyright 2016 https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com
Feel free to share under Creative Commons License with attribution to “Uniquely Narcissistic”

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“Attachment trauma and the effects of neglect and abuse on the brain” by Dr. Allan Schore

Dr. Allan Schore discusses “Attachment trauma and the effects of neglect and abuse on the brain“.

The development of severe Psychopathologies occurs during right Brain development, during very early childhood. Attachment Trauma and Abandonment Trauma are all stored in the right hemisphere of the Brain, even before the left hemisphere starts to develop.

That is why Brain Scans of Narcissists, Borderlines and Psychopaths show differences from the general population. Because of Attachment Trauma and Abandonment Trauma, the brains of those with Severe Psychopathologies are unable to to wire themselves normally. It is not nature. It is nurture and the severe lack of nurture which plays a major role in creating those with severe Personality Disorders.

Video is courtesy of the PsychAlive YouTube channel

Click on this line to visit the official website of Dr. Allan Schore.

Click on this line to visit the Wikipedia page to get some background info on Dr. Allan Schore.

“Christine Louis de Canonville” new workshop titled “UNDERSTANDING THE SELF-ABSORBED NARCISSISTIC MOTHER”

UPDATE Feb 16 2016Repaired all the links in this post. They now work again and take you to Christine’s site. Not sure what happened, but they do work now.

New Workshop On Narcissistic Mothers – The 26th February 2016
It’s almost time for my 3rd workshop. It’s about narcissistic mothers and the effects on her children.

It’s called “Mommie Dearest” – UNDERSTANDING THE SELF-ABSORBED NARCISSISTIC MOTHER.Revealing the Narcissistic Mother:

A mature mother with normal, healthy maternal nurturing instincts is a woman who is selfless, validates and loves her children unconditionally. She parents her children with empathy, and attunes into their inner emotional life as she prepares them for independent living when the time comes for them to leave the nest.

A narcissistic mother, on the other hand, is the antithesis of the mother I described above.  She is a mother who, instead of nurturing her children, is self-centred and mainly focused on herself. Rather than taking care of herself, the narcissistic mother expects to be taken care of by her children.

She neither trusts her children, nor believes in their basic goodness. She is brittle, controlling, does not observe boundaries, never apologizes or remembers her inappropriate behaviour, needs to be always right, will fly into rages, and project that anger onto her children.

She frightens her children, and discourages their independence. She needs to be the centre of attention, and is jealous if the children get attention from others. Her children are mere objects who represent her and show her in good light, but at the same time she is envious of their accomplishments, gifts and talents.

Her punishment is inconsistent and punitive, and she often uses the threat of abandonment to control them. All of this craziness serves to confuse her children and undermine their self esteem.  Of course, to the outside world everything is perfect, but behind closed doors the child is exposed to the horror of dealing with a mother with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

If you are the child of a narcissistic mother, or if you are a therapist working with the adult children of a narcissistic mother, then you need to understand that you are dealing with the behaviours of a mother who acts from a different set of criteria than the regular healthy loving mother.  As you can imagine, this disordered kind of parenting creates significant emotional damage to the child.

 

You’ll find all the information HERE or the link below for more details & booking..

http://narcissisticbehavior.net/narcissistic-mother-workshop/

This workshop is being held in Dublin, Ireland on 26th February 2016.

6 CPD points are awarded to all therapists who attend.

Warmest regards.
Christine
http://narcissisticbehavior.net/

The 3 Faces Of Evil – Unmasking The full Spectrum Of Narcissistic Abuse

Copyright © 2016  Roadshow for Therapists, All rights reserved.

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com
Disclaimer: Any Trademarks mentioned in this post are owned by the respective Trademark owner. Thanks go out to Christine Louis de Canonville for keeping us updated about her must attend workshops

Cosmopolitan details 10 Traits of Narcissists

This is an excellent run down by Cosmopolitan magazine, of Ten Traits of Narcissists.

, the author of that article, has done an excellent job. Her post is clear and to the point.

There is a link further down, so that you can read Kira Peikoff’s complete article on the Cosmo website.

From her list, Traits #1, #2 and #10 I fully agree with. Trait #10 is also not often spoken about.

1. Narcissists have zero tolerance for shame.

2. The fragile, insecure core of a narcissist has roots in childhood.

10. Narcissists are emotionally stuck at a toddler’s age.

From her list, Trait #9 I disagree with. Narcissists are hard wired. No amount of trying to motivate them to change will succeed.  The only way that a Narcissist would change is if you suddenly became a high grade Source of Narcissistic Supply.

For example if you won a multi million dollar prize in a lottery. That would turn you into top high grade Source of Narcissistic Supply. A Narcissistic will look up to a such a High Grade Source of Supply and could change to keep such a Source of Supply. That is until the Narcissistic has found an even Higher Grade Source of Supply.

9. Narcissists may be motivated to change if there is a meaningful consequence to their bad behavior.

Click on this line to be taken to the Cosmopolitan magazine Website to read article by

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Monsters with human faces. Narcissists when their mask slips off.

Narcissists Do Not Love other people. Narcissists just use them.

Quote "Narcissists do not Love other people. Narcissists just use them." by Uniquely Narcissistic

Plse credit Uniquely Narcissistic

The above quote is actually a photo – JPG file.
Copyright 2016 https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com
Feel free to share under Creative Commons License with attribution to Uniquely Narcissistic

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

 

Psychopathy is the number one Health Risk, yet most people have no clue what the tell tell signs of Psychopathy are

This is an extremely important video, featuring Sandra L. Brown, M.A.,  the founder of The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Pathology Education. It speaks of the total lack of knowledge of the Pathology of Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists.

People without a conscience, who have a total lack of Empathy for others, Negatively affect Millions of lives.

The Brains of Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists differ from the Brains of those who do not suffer from such disorders. They Have suffered major Attachment Trauma resulting in the right hemisphere of their Brain being unable to wire itself properly. This occurs very early in childhood, even before the left hemisphere of the brain has started to develop.

Since Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists cannot be helped (psychologically), the best approach is to educate the public of the Signs and Red Flags to look for. To educate people about who Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists literally “Target” and “Hunt for.

Knowledge of the Signs and Red Flags  can protect people from being Targeted, Used and Abused by Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists who suffer from such disorders.

Please watch this video and share it with friends and family.

Video is courtesy of the Jenna Stauffer YouTube channel

 
In my posts here, I keep harping about Mirroring and to watch out for people Mirroring you. In this video Mirroring is mentioned starting at 23:30 and specifically at 25:50 and on.

Mirroring is a “very important” Red Flag.
PLEASE WATCH FOR IT.

Click on this line to visit Sandra L. Brown’s website at http://saferelationships.com

See also Sandra’s other website http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/

You can view our other post featuring Sandra by clicking on this line:  “Sandra L. Brown” speaks about “Psychopathy ….When The Mask Begins to Slip”

Click on this line to visit Amazon.com to buy the book titled “How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved” authored by Sandra L. Brown.

Click on this line to visit Amazon.com to buy the award winning book titled “Women Who Love Psychopaths: Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm With Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists” written by Sandra L. Brown.

Click on this line to visit Amazon.com to buy the book titled “Counseling Victims of Violence: A Handbook for Helping Professionals” authored by Sandra L. Brown.

Posted to: http://uniquelynarcisistic.wordpress.com

Narcissistic Personality Disorder: A Clinical Psychologist Joseph Burgo uses film clips to illustrate the prominent symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder: A Clinical Psychologist Joseph Burgo uses film clips to illustrate the prominent symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Video courtesy of the Joseph Burgo YouTube channel

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A Cornered Animal to A Beast

… Reblogged from a well crafted WordPress blog which I had stumbled upon. That blog is titled: “Chronicles of Imperfectly Perfect“.

This excellent post is a great example of what happens when one ends up in any kind of a relationship with a Narcissist. Sarah’s Mentor clearly suffered from a Narcissist Disorder. Sarah is the Heroine in that post

Never, ever point out that a Narcissist is wrong, especially when there are other people around. Never, ever say “No” to a Narcissist. Depending on the depth of the Narcissist’s psychopathic dysfunction, your life could be endangered by uttering that two letter word..

Sarah had to agree that a Tomato was a vegetable or else the Narcissist would proceed to destroy her. It matters not if their way is incorrect, it has to be the Narcissist’s way or else. Sadly, no one else matters to a Narcissist.

This post was written by a master wordsmith. It flows and draws the reader into the story. 

Do yourselves a favor and check out her blog…

Chronicles of Imperfectly Perfect

One day I found myself ceaselessly and uncontrollably crying as I envisioned killing myself over and over again to force myself to believe as I repeated, “you are dead… BELIEVE IT, YOU ARE DEAD. YOU DON’T HAVE A CHOICE.” But my soul wouldn’t buy it, my mind wouldn’t accept it and even though my heart was broken but it was undefeated. I was crying because I was made to feel like, I have no choice, no say in the matter, no rights because I am a woman. I was shattered because I had to live and function according to the commands of those who decided that I was their possession and they my master. I belong to a culture where the horrors of patriarchy, dictatorship of seniors and handing over ones self-worth and dignity are celebrated as love, admiration and respect. While, taking ownership of one’s own life and asking…

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