A friend made an interesting comment. It was about a female Somatic Narcissist which we both know.
My friend made a comment that she was much like a Spider. She would create a fine Spider’s Web to trap you in. Once trapped she would do whatever she wanted to you.
She could be devilishly charming, always wanting to be the center of everyone’s attention. She made sure that everyone knew that she was there. She would work at trying to build you up. Love Bombing you with compliments and talk of being kindred spirits. Eventually the “Discard phase” would arrive with the backstabbing and smear campaign.
The idea of her being like a Spider was interesting.
Narcissists really are like Spiders. They build a web of lies and half truths, much like a Spider builds it’s Spider’s Web. Once they have their prey in their web, the Spider will feed off it. With the Narcissist you become a Source of Narcissistic Supply, which they will feed on. Eventually they find a new and to them better Source of Narcissistic Supply, so you get discarded. All that is left of a Spider’s prey is an empty shell. Survivors of narcissistic abuse will tell you that they are not the same person that they were before hooking up with their Narcissist.
Narcissists lack Empathy for others. Spiders also don’t care about the prey that they trap in their web. Both Spiders and Narcissists will happily Feed off their prey. Both Spiders and Narcissists are also always looking to trap more victims in their web.
My friend is not knowledgeable about the DSM-4 & 5 profile of people afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but his analogy of referring to this female as being like a Spider was extraordinarily perceptive and in my opinion sadly dead on. She is clearly someone to stay the hell away from.
This video is an intimate look back on a relationship with a Cerebral Narcissist. The presenter discusses her Cerebral Narcissist Husband as a textbook example.
She also details Narcissist’s issues with their “Mother”, which seem to be a common theme with Cerebral Narcissists.
Cerebral male narcissists tend to have moderate to severe ‘mother issues‘ where they have secretly-held or overtly-declared anger, disdain, and or generalized hurt originating from early childhood experiences from their mothers lack of attentive loving parenting. They tend to secretly dislike women.
You could feel the continued pain she still has, when she discussed her memory of being rejected sexually by her Husband.
Sex with a Cerebral Narcissist is controlled by the “Intimacy Factor”. Becoming “Intimate” with another person is something which Narcissists cannot do, especially Cerebral Narcissists (no Empathy for others, so Intimacy cannot be established). They much prefer viewing Porn and Masturbation, to having sex with a “real person”.
My addition to the last paragraph : If the person is providing a “High Grade/Quality” of Narcissistic Supply – ie someone who the Cerebral Narcissists looks up to, then the Narcissist will work hard at providing gratifying sex. Why? He will get a “High” from it, because “He was the super sex partner who “made possible” that great sex”. This will never happen to someone providing “Low Grade/Quality” of Narcissistic Supply. Please view a past post which provides more detail about this important aspect of a Sexual Experience with a Cerebral Narcissist: https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com/2016/01/25/sex-with-a-narcissist-is-all-about-how-the-narcissist-views-the-quality-of-the-source-of-narcissistic-supply
Video is courtesy of the Cluster B & Me YouTube channel
To Narcissist there are two kinds of Sources of Narcissist Supply. They will feed off a Low Grade/Quality Source, when they can’t manage to trap a High Grade/Quality Source of Narcissistic Supply.
The Narcissist is the Standard used to judge the quality of their Source of Narcissistic Supply.
If the Supply Source is better Educated (this is major consideration with “Cerebral Narcissists“) then it is deemed to be a High Grade/Quality Source. If you make more money or have a higher job title, then again you are deemed to be a Good High Grade/Quality Source of Supply. If you are physically better looking, then again you are a High Grade/Quality Source of Supply.
Being classified as a High Grade/Quality Source of Narcissistic Supply guarantees really awesome sex. The Narcissist wants to impress such a sex partner. They will get a rush if they can sexually impress a High Grade/Quality Source of Narcissistic Supply. Narcissists always look up to people whom they consider to be a good High Grade/Quality Source of Supply.
On the opposite end of the stick is what Narcissists classify as a Bad or Poor, Low Grade/Quality Source of Narcissist Supply. This type or person will not be someone whom the Narcissist will ever look up to. Such a person will likely be far less educated (again a major big deal with Cerebral Narcissists) than the Narcissist. The person will earn far less money. They will have a much lower job title. This is the type of person that the Narcissist disdains. But since a High Grade/Quality Source of Supply is unavailable, they will feed off the Low Grade/Quality Source.
Since they do not look up to and actually have a disdain for such a Low Grade/Quality Source, the Sex will be far from satisfactory. To a Narcissist, Sex with a Low Grade/Quality Source of Supply is not much different than Masturbation.
To top things off the Narcissist will then complain to the Low Grade/Quality Source of Supply, that it was the Source’s fault for the lousy sex. It takes two to Tango, but the Narcissist could care less to Tango in this case. The Low Grade/Quality Source of Supply ends up with a lowered sense of self after such sex. Perfect for the Narcissist, because it makes the Low Grade Source of Supply easier to further manipulate.