Category: Psychology Today

Met on Facebook and were married 10 months later. Then the control and isolation started. It ended with Jodie Bywater being severely beaten by her husband.

Red Flags are mentioned on this site very often. They are important signs which can help one learn that they are in a relationship with a Disordered Individual.

Jodie met Chris on Facebook.  Jodie mentioned that Chris was “very charming”. Disordered individuals can be extremely charming. Within 10 months they were married. Disordered individuals are well versed in Love Bombing.

Click on this link to visit the Psychology Today website to read their post titled:
Love Bombing: A Narcissist’s Secret Weapon”.

Within months of the marriage, her husband started to control Jodie. Major Red Flag.

Jodie was also systematically isolated from her friends and family. He made sure that he had cut her off her from any possible support. Major Red Flag.

Video courtesy of the From Surviving To Thriving!! YouTube channel

Only he had access to the bank account. Another Major Red Flag.

The physical abuse then heraled the post Love Bombing phase. He now had total control of Jodie. It started with him spitting at her face. NOT a wonderful sign of affection between and husband and his wife.

It is hard to admit that one made a mistake of getting into a relationship with a disordered individual. Seek Help by visiting your local Law Enforcement agency. There are support lines which can provide guidance. Spitting in her face was nothing compared to what he did to her later. She became his punching bag.

When she was pregnant with his child, he physically attacked and punched the hell out of her.

Please click on this link to visit THE SUN‘s website to read their exclusive article about what happened to Jodie Bywater.

I hope that something like this will never happen to you !!!

See how many Red Flags you can spot. This is a horrific story. It opens our eyes to the fact that Disordered Individuals are out there. Watch for those Red Flags.

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Dr. Craig Malkin, a lecturer at Harvard Medical School, discusses Dangerous Narcissism

Dr. Craig Malkin is an Expert on Narcissism. He is also an Expert in the treatment of Trauma and PTSD. He lectures at Harvard Meedical School.
In this video Dr. Craig Malkin discusses the Major Red Flags to watch for. He uses the term Dangerous Narcissism which helps to calrify the Narcissism Spectrum Scale
of Narcissistic Traits displayed by individuals.

Video is ourtesy of the Dr. Craig Malkin YouTube channel
Narcissism occurs on a scale. You could have a really nice caring inidividual displaying a Narcissist trait once in a while. That is not abnormal Narcissism.
The range then goes to the other end ene dof the scale, where you find Dangerous Malignant Narcissists and in my opion just a bit further down you find Psychopaths.
As you go down the scale towards Malignant Naracissim you find that the Narcissist is in a state of denial that they are doing anything wrong. They will justify ongoing verbal, emotional and physical abuse and put the blame squarely on the Victim. The Denial of wrong doing while abusing another Human Being is a major Red Flag and Danger Sign.

Video is ourtesy of the Dr. Craig Malkin YouTube channel
Another comon Red Falsg is that the Danergous Narcisist will try to isolate the Victim from friends and  family. By removing outside support, the Narcisist hopes to gain total control over the Victim. They can convince their Victim to move to a difffetrent city or a different country where the Vistim will not know anyone and will not know where to seek out help.
As one woman was was doused with gasoline and then lit on fire had stated from her Hospital Bed “Verbal Abuse is the beinnning of further Physical Abuse”. The Narcissist stood and watched that lady burn and did nothing to help her. I court he stated that it was just an accident and that he was not to blame.
In a relationship, if you have become isolated from Friends and Family and have started to bear the brunt of Verbal and Emotional Abuse, please seek help. Visit the Police. Visit the local Hospital. Visit your local library as they will have free Internet access and where you can use Gioogle Search to find out who to call for help. I suggest using the free Libray computers as the Dangerous Narcissist could have added a Keylogger on the home computers to see what your are doing online.
The denial by the Dangerous Narcissist that they are doing anything wrong is a Major Red Flag. Malignanat Dangerous Narcisism is also not that far on ths scale from Psychopaths. Dangeroous Narcissist can display traits of Psychopathy. If this is being seen in a realtionship then the Victim needs to to seek out Help and Support and NOT tell the Dangerous Narcissist they are are seeking Help and Support. If the Narcissist finds out, then they can flip into a Narcissist Rage and cause major physical damage to the Victim. Please be extremely careful until you are out of harms way.

How a relationship with a Narcissist can derail you

 

In my opinion, the worst part of any kind of relationship with a Narcissist, happens when the relationship ends. That is when Narcissists start their Back Stabbing and Smear Campaign directed against you. The damage can be both Financial (at your job), as well as Emotional.

Their Back Stabbing and Smear Campaign is the Narcissist’s gift to you, which just keeps on giving….

Narcissism in the workplace. 10 Signs Your Co-Worker is a Narcissist

Looks like this is one of the posts which disappeared, when things got messed up on July 01.

The Psychology Today website has this informative post titled 10 Signs Your Co-Worker / Colleague is a Narcissist. Narcissism in the workplace“.

Quoting from that article At the workplace, a pathologically Narcissistic co-worker can be annoying and frustrating at best, and a serious threat to your career at worst.“.

The article goes on to detail 10 Traits or Red Flags to watch for.

Click on this Link to visit the Psychology Today website to view their article.

Do you attract Narcissists ?

If you have been in a relationship with one Narcissist, I believe that you will continue to attract Narcissists into your life. Christine De Canonville made a statement during one of her seminars, that Narcissists will prime you psychologically and other Narcissists will be able to pick you out of a crowd. Click on this Link to read our prior post with a link to Christine’s Seminar video.

Narcissists sadly become parents. Children of one or more Narcissistic Parents learn survival skills. They learn how to please their Narcissistic Parent. Do something enough times and becomes a habit. For example you can get into your car and drive without giving it much thought. The first time that you got into a car to learn to drive was a much different. experience.

Pleasing a Narcissistic Parent is a survival skill and becomes an automatic process used by your unconscious mind. Narcissists, in my opinion, can pickup on that. They know that you will be a compliant target. Narcissists do not want a very self confident target. It’s easy to test. Just push at a boundary and see if the target accepts overstepping a boundary and actually shifts it to accommodate. Or if the target pushes back and will not shift the boundary. That one simple reaction can provide a Disordered Individual with lots of insight into a potential target.

To stop Narcissistic Individuals from playing a part in one’s life, one has to first recognize them. How? Back to basics. Straight forward 3 steps.:

1. Learn about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Knowledge is power. The internet is filled with knowledge and the Google Search Engine is your friend, to help you find it. Spend lots of time learning. I’m talking about spending “months”, learning more each day.

2. Learn the Red Flags which Narcissists will always display.

3. Watch for Red Flags.

When you are with someone new and you start seeing multiple Red Flags being displayed, then step back and ask yourself if this new person could be afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Watch for more Red Flags. If more Red Flags show up, then it could be time to make a decision whether this person is the type of individual that you want in your life. Of course the Love Bombing and Mirroring. Psychological Manipulation Techniques, would have been used extensively by then.

If you spotted the Love Bombing and you spotted the Mirroring, then ask yourself why would this person be using major Psychological Manipulation Techniques against you. 

Those 3 steps could help to better identify the new person that you are interacting with. I believe that it is important to know who or what one is dealing with. Your new knowledge about Narcissists could equip you to make an informed decision, whether to continue seeing a potentially disordered individual. It could help you to see what is behind their mask.

Now your use of survival skills learned as a child is something which you might want to discuss with a Licensed Therapist. I do not mean to be hurtful, but it is “you” who is attracting Narcissists into your life. Click on this link to view our prior post which has a number of links to help you find a Licensed Therapist in your area.

For more insights, click on this Link to visit the Psychology Today website to read their article titled “The Relationship Between Sensitive People and Narcissists“.

How Job Interviewers are fooled by Narcissists

Yesterday I had posted about a UBC Research Study which showed that Narcissists excel in Job Interview situations. Click on this line to view that prior post.

Narcissists are great actors and during an interview they can put on a great performance.

Narcissist have a number of Traits going for them, in an Interview type of situation.

Since Narcissists are practiced Liars, it is no problem for them to feed the Interviewer a load of BS, while the Narcissist looks very believable to the Interviewer.

Narcissist can be superficially Very Charming, which can help to convince the Interviewer that the nonsense the Narcissist is feeding them is the Real Deal.

Narcissists consistently use Mirroring to establish fake Rapport. What better place to establish fake Rapport than during a Job Interview. Mirroring the Interviewer, makes the Interviewer feel like they are seeing someone much like themselves.

Yes, Narcissists have much going for them during a Job Interview.

In real life, things are different. Talking the Talk means little, if you cannot Walk the Walk. That is where companies get burned by Narcissists who self promote, but do not function well as a member of a Team. For Narcissists, their Team consists of only themselves. That, IMHO, also applies to a personal relationship with a Narcissist.

Psychology Today has a great article about Narcissists and job interviews. Click on this Link to visit the Psychology Today website to read their post titled “Don’t be fooled by a Narcissist.”

To find out if someone is a Narcissist, just ask them if they are a Narcissist

To find out if someone is a Narcissist, just ask them if they are a Narcissist. It sounds tongue and cheek, but the answer could be surprisingly accurate.

You could click on this line to visit an interactive version of the 40 question Narcissistic Personality Inventory. Then have the subject go thru all 40 interactive screens.

Or you could simply ask him or her : Are you a Narcissist?

Their answer apparently could correspond well to the DSM test for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Prior studies have shown that such is the case. In 2012 as study titled “Honestly Arrogant or Simply Misunderstood? Narcissists’ Awareness of their Narcissism” was published. Click on this line to visit the Study publication site.

A newer study titled: “Measuring narcissism with a single question? A replication and extension of the Single-Item Narcissism Scale (SINS)” confirmed the results of the prior study. Click on this line to visit the Science Direct page which features this new study.

To me it sounds strange that a Narcissist would have no problem answering someone who has asked if they are a Narcissist. This all came from a recent post on Psychology Today which is titled: “How to Profile a Narcissist With One Simple Question.The one question a true narcissist cannot resist.“. Click on this line to visit the Psychology Today page featuring that article. Really interesting and unique read.