Stephen Gane was found guilty and jailed for four years for coercive behaviour and ‘Gaslighting‘ in landmark case. He drove Kellie Sutton to hang herself, only five month after beginning a relationship with her.
Kellie was a Mother of 3 children. She had been single for a couple of years before she was targeted by Stephen Gane.
Her grieving family read the following in court: “Kellie was a daughter, a sister, a niece, a granddaughter, a great grand daughter and a mother. She was caring, funny, affectionate, bubbly and kind. She was a loyal friend – the kind of person who would go out of their way to help others. She could not bear to see anyone suffering and would put herself out to help anyone. She didn’t have a bad bone in her body.“
From this we can see that Kellie was an Empath. Disordered Individuals can spot an Empath from a mile away. Within weeks of meeting her Steven moved into “her house”.
Kellie’s friend had this to say “I told her to stay away from him because he seemed controlling.”. She disliked Stephen and you can be sure Stephen made sure that Kellie was kept away from her friends.
Stephen Gane denied hurting Kellie. He said they loved each other but their relationship was sometimes ‘volatile’. Disordered Individuals will never admit to doing anything wrong.
He was found guilty of actual bodily harm and one charge of assault by beating. One must assume that splitting her head open, was his way of showing his Love and Affection.
Disordered Individual will target someone (like you) to “USE” you. Note that Stephen Mane showed “No evidence of sadness or regret“. Disordered Individual could care less about others. They do not care how much pain and sorrow they create for others, as long they get what they WANT.
There are MILLIONS of Disordered Individuals, like Staphen Gane, out there. Please watch for the Red Flags. Please listen to your friends, who may spot odd behaviour which signal danger to them.
The only positive thing which will come from the death of this young woman is that she gave her life to spare her children untold horrors which were waiting for them. Imagine having someone like Stephen Gane being the father figure to her three kids? He would have destroyed those kids. Over the 5 months that he lived in Kellie’s house, I’m sure that her kids were tramatized. I hope that they can receive Psychiatric help to help get over the loss of their Mother and over the Traumas caused by Stephen Gane.
The most horrible thought is that he will get out of jail and will seek a new victim. Disordered Individuals cannot be fixed. Their brains are hard wired differently.
A relationship to a Disordered Individual, such as a Narcissist, is all about them gaining Control over their Target.
You will note one Major Red Flag and Danger Sign mentioned in this video. The Target/Victim became ISOLATED from Friends and Family. A Disordered Individual will work to isolate the Target. That allows greater control of the Target. As you become more and more Isolated, you will become much more vulnerable. Kellie Sutton became isolated and her only option to escape was Suicide.
Click on this link to read the Daily Mail article titled “Mother’s heartbreak after daughter was driven to suicide by her former soldier boyfriend as he is jailed for four years for coercive behaviour and ‘gaslighting’ in landmark case“.
“I Never knew that a Human Being could be so evil“. He had doused her with gasoline and set her on fire. Then he stood there and did nothing.
Judy Malinowski left a message for others: “Verbal abuse is the start of physical abuse“.
Take a good look at Judy, in the video below. Just think, it could be you in that Hospital Bed fighting for your life. Watch for any Red Flags. Going NO Contact may protect you. There are Disordered individuals out there, who will set you on fire and stand there and just watch you suffer and burn. Such persons have no Empathy for the pain and suffering of others. Is that the type of person one would want to have a relationship with?
Video is courtesy of the NBC4 WCMH-TV Columbus YouTube Channel
PLEASE be CAREFUL,
who you let into your life.
Watch for the Red Flags
of Disordered Individuals.
Red Flags are important to watch for. Narcissists repeat their calculated behavior with each new Target. Learn about the Red Flags commonly displayed by Narcissists and then watch for them.
There is a world of difference between honest Flattery and Calculated Persistent Flattery.
If someone relatively new in your life is consistently flattering you, ask yourself what do they want. Make sure to watch for other Red Flags.
Video is courtesy of the Inner Integration YouTube channel
David Snyder discusses Speed Attraction.
Narcissists and Psychopaths are really good at establishing Rapport and Trust with their Targets. They do this using techniques which are below most people’s radar. Mirroring is a major Psychological Mind Control Technique used by Narcissists. Therapists may also use Mirroring to establish Trust with their patients. Trust can be real and created via shared experience, or false Trust can be programmed into someone’s mind and they will have no clue that they were manipulated.
Video is courtesy of the David Snyder YouTube channel
There is a video featured in a post on this site, by a Harvard Grad named Leslie Morgan Steiner. She was targeted by a Narcissist. She was talked into moving and became isolated from friends and family. Once she was isolated the abuse started and moved to physical abuse.She was programmed not to discuss the abuse with others. In the video she spoke of being physically abused. She stated that at the time her focus was not on the person physically abusing her. Her mind was focused on the false persona presented to her at the beginning of their relationship.
Mirroring and Love Bombing by the Narcissist installs Rapport and Trust deep into the victim’s mind. Again, Leslie focused on the false person whom she had been programmed to fall in love with. Someone who “did not exist”. She dismissed the physical abuse and focused on the false persona. She was very highly educated, yet the Narcissist was able to get inside her mind and manipulate her.
Learning about and then watching for the Red Flags like Mirroring, can give one a clue into the type of individual one is interacting with.
Watch the video and listen carefully to the way that David interacts with the people at his seminar – especially the females. Listen to how he shifts his tonality. He draws the Target in and starts asking question after question. He repeats what he has been told by the Target. He draws the Target in. Narcissists will sound like David, when they interact with their Targets. It is very subtle, yet very powerful and IMHO very dangerous if you are the Target.
Another verbal tactic of the Narcissist is to continually combine the target and themselves in statements they make. Take this statement fed to a Target by a Narc “You don’t Love Me anymore.“ stated as a joke to counter something negative which the Target just said. The Target laughs at the Narc’s statement and the Target’s state is changed. The Negative is thus removed from the Target’s mind. Narcs are really good at countering anything negative. Humor is non threatening and does not set off alarms. Yet the Narc’s stupid statement (given the situation where it had been used), clears the Target’s mind of negative thoughts.
The constant combination of “You” and “Me”, also helps to program a connection in the Target’s mind. All this flies below the radar and never sets off any alarms in the Target’s Mind. Next thing you know, the Target starts to feel that they have met their Soul Mate…
Mirroring is one the most important Red Flags displayed by Narcissists, on a consistent basis.
Mirroring someone can open the door into their mind. You can create “Trust”, “Rapport” and get someone to believe that you and them have established a “Connection”. Most people have never heard of Mirroring, allowing Narcissists to readily use it.
I recall one situation, the Cerebral Narc was standing and talking to some people. His target came by and she bent over placing her elbows on a counter. The Narc spotted her and went over and Mirrored her. He bent over the counter placing his elbows on the counter. She had no clue what was going on. The others also did not notice what the Narc was doing. As his target changed position, so did the Narc. He also started to adjust his tonality to better match her. It was classic. Only the Cerebral Narcissist and myself had any clue that he was manipulating his target.
Video is courtesy of the GilanGorkTV YouTube channel
Cluster-B Disordered individuals, such as Narcissist use Mirroring on a consistent basis (so do Psychopaths). Why ? Because it works. It lets them establish Trust and Rapport with their Target. This shuts down the Target’s natural Fight or Flight protective response.
Learn about Mirroring and then always watch for it.
A first person account of going through Abuse Recovery. It will not be easy. Nor will it be any fun.
One key point from this video is that by hanging in there, you can reach the light at the end of that dark tunnel.
I believe that a lot of people need to view this video, to help them to understand the insanity which they had lived through. It’s also important to hear that you were not the only one who was targeted, used and abused by a Narcissist, Sociopath or Psychopath. It helps to listen to the Red Flags mentioned, which were found in the presenter’s Toxic Relationship
Videos like this one, take guts to make public. IMHO, videos like this one are Extremely Important.
Video is courtesy of the Angel Speaks YouTube channel
Cluster-B Disordered Individuals mess up many loving and caring people. This IMHO is the fault of the Educational Systems. Just as there are Sex Education classes, there should also be training about the Red Flags displayed by Cluster-B Disordered Individuals. Have videos such as this one, shown to every High School, College and University graduating group.
A friend ended up in a Hospital for months after the Malignant Narcissist that she had married, went into a rage. No one ever taught her about the Red Flags to look for. She married and was isolated from friends and family, by moving to another country. Becoming isolated and totally dependent on a Cluster-B Disordered individual opens the door to major physical abuse. All my friend had to talk to were the Flying Monkeys, that is the Malignant Narc’s family. She learned about the Red Flags, after major damage was done.
Logical Inconsistency is an important Red Flag of Psychopaths.
Video is courtesy of the BA Recovery YouTube channel
This lady is an uncommon resource. Lots of people try and inform others about Cluster-B Disordered Individuals. So does she, but she has the “Training” and “2 University Degrees” to back up her words.
Click on this Link to visit her Blog Called Brave Recovery. Her Blog I believe will become an awesome resource much like her YouTube channel already is.
UPDATE – OCT 31 2016
– just learned that she moved the blog from Tumblr to WIX. I have changed the link above to link her new WIX blog.