Category: Red Flags that you are Dating a Loser

Woman was driven to suicide by her boyfriend. He was found guilty and jailed for four years for coercive behaviour and ‘gaslighting’ in landmark case.

Stephen Gane was found guilty and jailed for four years for coercive behaviour and ‘Gaslighting‘ in landmark case. He drove Kellie Sutton to hang herself, only five month after beginning a relationship with her.

Kellie was a Mother of 3 children. She had been single for a couple of years before she was targeted by Stephen Gane.

Her grieving family read the following in court:Kellie was a daughter, a sister, a niece, a granddaughter, a great grand daughter and a mother. She was caring, funny, affectionate, bubbly and kind. She was a loyal friend – the kind of person who would go out of their way to help others. She could not bear to see anyone suffering and would put herself out to help anyone. She didn’t have a bad bone in her body.

From this we can see that Kellie was an Empath. Disordered Individuals can spot an Empath from a mile away. Within weeks of meeting her Steven moved into “her house”.

Kellie’s friend had this to say I told her to stay away from him because he seemed controlling.”. She disliked Stephen and you can be sure Stephen made sure that Kellie was kept away from her friends.

Stephen Gane denied hurting Kellie.  He said they loved each other but their relationship was sometimes ‘volatile’. Disordered Individuals will never admit to doing anything wrong.

He was found guilty of actual bodily harm and one charge of assault by beating. One must assume that splitting her head open, was his way of showing his Love and Affection.

Judge Philip Grey told Stephen Gane: “Kellie was a much loved young woman who had the great misfortune of meeting you.”

“You treated her as a meal ticket. You beat her and ground her down and broke her spirit.”

You’ve shown no evidence of sadness or regret and your behaviour clearly drove Kellie to hang herself that morning.”

Disordered Individual will target someone (like you) to “USE” you. Note that Stephen Mane showed “No evidence of sadness or regret. Disordered Individual could care less about others. They do not care how much pain and sorrow they create for others, as long they get what they WANT.

There are MILLIONS of Disordered Individuals, like Staphen Gane, out there. Please watch for the Red Flags. Please listen to your friends, who may spot odd behaviour which signal danger to them.

The only positive thing which will come from the death of this young woman is that she gave her life to spare her children untold horrors which were waiting for them. Imagine having someone like Stephen Gane being the father figure to her three kids? He would have destroyed those kids. Over the 5 months that he lived in Kellie’s house, I’m sure that her kids were tramatized. I hope that they can receive Psychiatric help to help get over the loss of their Mother and over the Traumas caused by Stephen Gane.

The most horrible thought is that he will get out of jail and will seek a new victim. Disordered Individuals cannot be fixed. Their brains are hard wired differently.

A relationship to a Disordered Individual, such as a Narcissist, is all about them gaining Control over their Target.

You will note one Major Red Flag and Danger Sign mentioned in this video. The Target/Victim became ISOLATED from Friends and Family. A Disordered Individual will work to isolate the Target. That allows greater control of the Target. As you become more and more Isolated, you will become much more vulnerable. Kellie Sutton became isolated and her only option to escape was Suicide.

Click on this link to read the Daily Mail article titled “Mother’s heartbreak after daughter was driven to suicide by her former soldier boyfriend as he is jailed for four years for coercive behaviour and ‘gaslighting’ in landmark case“.

Click on this link to visit the Hertfordshire Police website to read their post titled: “Man who physically and mentally abused his girlfriend is jailed.”

Click on this link to visit The Sun website and read their article titled:” ‘HE IS PURE EVIL’ Mother’s anguish over daughter who was driven to suicide by her boyfriend

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Warning Signs and Red Flags that he is a Narcissist

Derrick Jaxn describes the Warning Signs and Red Flags which you will encounter, when in a relationship with a Narcissist. Always watch for such Red Flags.

If the Warning Signs are persisistent, you may want to seriously consider Going No Contact. Staying with a Narcissist will allow the Narcissist to continue to attack and destroy YOU and if given the opportunity, they will.

Video is courtesy of the Derrick Jaxn YouTube channel

Learn how to spot when someone is trying to Lie to you. By Susan Carnicero

Susan Carnicero had spent over 20 years performing interviews, interrogations and polygraph examinations, as a Security Specialist with the CIA.

She had also developed behavioral screening programs, that are used by the U.S. Federal Government.

Uniquely Narcissistic focuses on the Red Flags of Disordered Individuals.  One of the Red Flags and Traits of Narcissists (and also of Sociopaths and Psychopaths) is that they are Proficient Liars, because they get lots of practice.

Susan Carnicero’s discusses what to watch for, when someone is trying to Lie to you.

Video is courtesy of the Digiday YouTube channel

Susan Carnicero is also the author of  the book titled: “Get the Truth: Former CIA Officers Teach You How to Persuade Anyone to Tell All.

Red Flags that you are Dating a Loser by Joseph M. Carver, Clinical Psychologist.

A special note of Thanks to Joseph M. Carver, Ph.D for permitting us to share his article:

“The Loser”

Warning Signs You’re Dating a Loser

Joseph M. Carver, Ph.D., Psychologist

Introduction

Very few relationships start on terms other than sweetness and politeness. In the beginning, “the honeymoon” of the relationship, it’s difficult to determine what type of individual you are dating. Both you and the date are guarded, trying to obtain information about the other as much as possible without seeming like a police detective.

Romantic relationships can be wonderful with the right person. A relationship with the wrong individual however can lead to years of heartache, emotional/social damage, and even physical damage. A damaging adult partner can damage us, damage our loved ones, and even damage the way we feel about love and romance in the future. They can turn what is supposed to be a loving, supporting, and understanding relationship into the “fatal attraction” often described in movies. There are a variety of “bad choices” that may be encountered each week – most of which are easily to identify and avoid. We all know to avoid people that appear insane or abusive and not select them as a dating partner. However, some individuals are better at hiding their personality and behavior abnormalities. In an effort to provide some warning about these very damaging individuals, this paper will outline a type of individual commonly found in the dating scene, a male or female labeled “The Loser”.

“The Loser” is a type of partner that creates much social, emotional and psychological damage in a relationship. “The Loser” has permanent personality characteristics that create this damage. These are characteristics that they accept simply as the way they are and not a problem or psychological difficulty. In one sense, they have always lived with this personality and behavior, often something they probably learned from their relatives/family. Psychologists usually treat the victims of “The Loser”, women or men who arrive at the office severely depressed with their self-confidence and self-esteem totally destroyed.

The following list is an attempt to outline the characteristics of “The Loser” and provide a manner in which women and men can identify potentially damaging relationships before they are themselves severely damaged emotionally or even physically. If your partner possesses even one of these features, there is risk in the relationship. More than three of these indicators and you are involved with “The Loser” in a very high risk relationship that will eventually create damage to you. When a high number of these features are present – it’s not a probably or possibility. You will be hurt and damaged by “The Loser” if you stay in the relationship.

1. Rough Treatment “The Loser” will hurt you on purpose. If he or she hits you, twists your arm, pulls your hair, kicks you, shoves you, or breaks your personal property EVEN ONCE, drop them. Male losers often begin with behaviors that move you physically or hit the wall. Female losers often slap, kick and even punch their male partners when upset.

2. Quick Attachment and Expression “The Loser” has very shallow emotions and connections with others. One of the things that might attract you to “The Loser” is how quickly he or she says “I Love You” or wants to marry or commit to you. Typically, in less than a few weeks of dating you’ll hear that you’re the love of their life, they want to be with you forever, and they want to marry you. You’ll receive gifts, a variety of promises, and be showered with their attention and nice gestures. This is the “honeymoon phase” – where they catch you and convince you that they are the best thing that ever happened to you. Remember the business saying “If it’s too good to be true it probably is (too good to be true)!” You may be so overwhelmed by this display of instant attraction, instant commitment, and instant planning for the future that you’ll miss the major point – it doesn’t make sense!! Normal, healthy individuals require a long process to develop a relationship because there is so much at stake. Healthy individuals will wait for a lot of information before offering a commitment – not three weeks. It’s true that we can become infatuated with others quickly – but not make such unrealistic promises and have the future planned after three dates. The rapid warm-up is always a sign of shallow emotions which later cause “The Loser” to detach from you as quickly as they committed. “The Loser” typically wants to move in with you or marry you in less than four weeks or very early in the relationship.

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