Category: Relationship with a Narcissist

Woman was driven to suicide by her boyfriend. He was found guilty and jailed for four years for coercive behaviour and ‘gaslighting’ in landmark case.

Stephen Gane was found guilty and jailed for four years for coercive behaviour and ‘Gaslighting‘ in landmark case. He drove Kellie Sutton to hang herself, only five month after beginning a relationship with her.

Kellie was a Mother of 3 children. She had been single for a couple of years before she was targeted by Stephen Gane.

Her grieving family read the following in court:Kellie was a daughter, a sister, a niece, a granddaughter, a great grand daughter and a mother. She was caring, funny, affectionate, bubbly and kind. She was a loyal friend – the kind of person who would go out of their way to help others. She could not bear to see anyone suffering and would put herself out to help anyone. She didn’t have a bad bone in her body.

From this we can see that Kellie was an Empath. Disordered Individuals can spot an Empath from a mile away. Within weeks of meeting her Steven moved into “her house”.

Kellie’s friend had this to say I told her to stay away from him because he seemed controlling.”. She disliked Stephen and you can be sure Stephen made sure that Kellie was kept away from her friends.

Stephen Gane denied hurting Kellie.  He said they loved each other but their relationship was sometimes ‘volatile’. Disordered Individuals will never admit to doing anything wrong.

He was found guilty of actual bodily harm and one charge of assault by beating. One must assume that splitting her head open, was his way of showing his Love and Affection.

Judge Philip Grey told Stephen Gane: “Kellie was a much loved young woman who had the great misfortune of meeting you.”

“You treated her as a meal ticket. You beat her and ground her down and broke her spirit.”

You’ve shown no evidence of sadness or regret and your behaviour clearly drove Kellie to hang herself that morning.”

Disordered Individual will target someone (like you) to “USE” you. Note that Stephen Mane showed “No evidence of sadness or regret. Disordered Individual could care less about others. They do not care how much pain and sorrow they create for others, as long they get what they WANT.

There are MILLIONS of Disordered Individuals, like Staphen Gane, out there. Please watch for the Red Flags. Please listen to your friends, who may spot odd behaviour which signal danger to them.

The only positive thing which will come from the death of this young woman is that she gave her life to spare her children untold horrors which were waiting for them. Imagine having someone like Stephen Gane being the father figure to her three kids? He would have destroyed those kids. Over the 5 months that he lived in Kellie’s house, I’m sure that her kids were tramatized. I hope that they can receive Psychiatric help to help get over the loss of their Mother and over the Traumas caused by Stephen Gane.

The most horrible thought is that he will get out of jail and will seek a new victim. Disordered Individuals cannot be fixed. Their brains are hard wired differently.

A relationship to a Disordered Individual, such as a Narcissist, is all about them gaining Control over their Target.

You will note one Major Red Flag and Danger Sign mentioned in this video. The Target/Victim became ISOLATED from Friends and Family. A Disordered Individual will work to isolate the Target. That allows greater control of the Target. As you become more and more Isolated, you will become much more vulnerable. Kellie Sutton became isolated and her only option to escape was Suicide.

Click on this link to read the Daily Mail article titled “Mother’s heartbreak after daughter was driven to suicide by her former soldier boyfriend as he is jailed for four years for coercive behaviour and ‘gaslighting’ in landmark case“.

Click on this link to visit the Hertfordshire Police website to read their post titled: “Man who physically and mentally abused his girlfriend is jailed.”

Click on this link to visit The Sun website and read their article titled:” ‘HE IS PURE EVIL’ Mother’s anguish over daughter who was driven to suicide by her boyfriend

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Quote “Good Luck trying to get Love, Honesty, Truth or Respect from a Narcissist.”

Quote "Good Luck trying to get Love, Honesty, Truth or Respect from a Narcissist." by uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Quote:Good Luck trying to get Love, Honesty, Truth or Respect from a Narcissist.

How a relationship with a Narcissist can derail you

 

In my opinion, the worst part of any kind of relationship with a Narcissist, happens when the relationship ends. That is when Narcissists start their Back Stabbing and Smear Campaign directed against you. The damage can be both Financial (at your job), as well as Emotional.

Their Back Stabbing and Smear Campaign is the Narcissist’s gift to you, which just keeps on giving….

The dangers of being in a relationship with a Disordered Narcissist

Dr. David B Hawkins discusses some of the dangers when one gets involved in a relationship with a Narcissist, especially to one’s Self Esteem.

The video also has some sound advice regarding Boundaries.

Video is courtesy of the David Hawkins YouTube channel

The one point that he makes that I disagree with, is about being able to change a Narcissist. It is my opinion, and your mileage may differ, that Narcissism is a Hard Wiring problem caused by major Attachment Trauma(s) suffered when the Narc was a tiny infant. There is no Treatment Protocol for Narcissism, and many Licensed Therapists will agree.

Trauma caused later in life, also changes Brain Chemistry and it is very hard to treat, just ask anyone with PTSD or Complex PTSD, but can be treated. 

I also think that it also depends on the depth on the Narcissistic Disorder. A Malignant Narcissist IMHO cannot be changed and it could be dangerous to even try to get them to change. Someone who is not deeply disordered, just maybe could adapt to you setting boundaries etc.

 

Quote “One day, you will come to realize just how much precious time was wasted by your relationship with that Narcissist.”

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Quote:One day, you will come to realize just how much precious time was wasted by your relationship with that Narcissist.” by uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

 

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Quote “The best thing about your past relationship with a Narcissist, is that it’s over!”

Quote "The best thing about your past relationship with a Narcissist, is that it's over!" by uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Quote:The best thing about your past relationship with a Narcissist, is that it’s over!

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Quote “Its not uncommon to feel lost and erased, after years with a Narcissist.“

The Support for Victims of Narcissism YouTube channel made this profound quote. In a few heart wrenching words, it hits home the reality of what happens to Victims of Narcisistic Abuse.

Quote “Its not uncommon to feel lost and erased, after years with a Narcissist.“ by Support for victims of Narcissism YouTube channel. Jpeg created by uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com


Quote:Its not uncommon to feel lost and erased, after years with a Narcissist.
Quote by: Support for Victims of Narcissism YouTube channel

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Quote “A relationship with a Narcissist could cause life changing damage to your Self Esteem.”

Quote "A relationship with a Narcissist could cause life changing damge to your Self Esteem" by uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

QUOTE: “A relationship with a Narcissist could cause life changing damage to your Self Esteem.

 

Copyright 2016 https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com
Feel free to share under Creative Common License Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International.

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What it was like being in a relationship with a Narcissist.

This is a rather informative video. A Victim shares details from his 6 year long abusive relationship with a Somatic Narcissist.

It was surprising how this video essentially describes a Somatic Narcissist’s Playbook. Narcissists work from the same script, no matter where they live.

One interesting aspect of this video is that Mr. Smith is a Therapist, which goes to show that Narcissists can fool everyone. Narcissists really are amazing actors.

Video is courtesy of the familytreecounseling YouTube channel

“The Three Faces of Evil – Unmasking The Full Spectrum Of Narcissistic Abuse” by “Christine Louis de Canonville”

The book titled “The Three Faces of Evil – Unmasking The Full Spectrum Of Narcissistic Abuse” by “Christine Louis de Canonville” is apparently no longer available on Amazon. It is still available from the author’s site.

Click on this line to visit Christine’s website to check out The 3 Face of Evil.

This book will help Survivors wanting to understand what happened to them while in a relationship with a Narcissist. It will educate and familiarize the reader about the complexity of Narcissistic behaviours, giving a basic understanding of The Dark Triad: from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Malignant Narcissism, to the most pathological…..the Psychopath.

Craig Malkin Ph.D. discusses “Why Do People Stay in Abusive Relationships? The answer is more complicated than you think.”

The Narcissistic Pseudo Relationship: Real to you, but Pretend to them

The Three Phases of A Narcissistic Roller Coaster Relationship Cycle: Over-Evaluation, Devaluation, Discard

Well written post, by Savannah Grey, detailing the Narcissistic Relationship  Emotional Roller Coaster.

“People usually get into relationships for love and the need to connect and bond with another. Narcissists get into relationships for entirely different reasons.”

Please click on this line to visit the Esteemology website to read their complete post titled: “The Three Phases of A Narcissistic Relationship Cycle: Over-Evaluation, Devaluation, Discard“.

Click on this line to visit the Esteemology Facebook page.

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

The Secret Language of Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths: How Abusers Manipulate Their Victims

Learning the Secret Language of Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths: How Abusers Manipulate Their Victims by Shahida Arabi

Source: The Secret Language of Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths: How Abusers Manipulate Their Victims

Author: Shahida Arabi

Does the Narcissist Miss You After No Contact?

Multitudes of people who’ve implemented No Contact with their Narcissistic partner will inevitably ask the question, Does the Narcissist miss me? Why?  Because they are often consumed with missing …

Source: Does the Narcissist Miss You After No Contact?

Author: Kim Saeed

The sacrifices you have to make for a relationship with a Narcissistic personality to work.

Why the Narcissist will try to reconnect with you after you have left them

When you break up with a Narcissist and they find out (yes they will keep tabs on you) that you have started dating someone else, often times the Narcissist will come running back to you. You were once their Source of Narcissistic Supply. Yes, they have a new Source of Narcissistic Supply, but the Narcissist fears losing you as a fallback option of Narcissistic Supply, when you start dating other people.

Talk to those who have broken up with a Narcissist and they will tell you that its never a good idea to fall for the empty promises of the Narcissist.

Video is courtesy of the Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach YouTube channel

 

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Why do Narcissists Cheat? Why do Narcissists leave relationships? Why or When do Narcissists Return or Come Back?

This video provides detailed answer to three questions:

1. Why Do Narcissists Cheat?
2. Why do Narcissists leave relationships?
3. Why or When do Narcissists Return or Come Back to the person they had dumped?

Video is courtesy of the Narcissist Free YouTube channel

The Narcissist Free YouTube channel is a superb resource about those who are afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and their Targeted Victims.

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com