A friend made an interesting comment. It was about a female Somatic Narcissist which we both know.
My friend made a comment that she was much like a Spider. She would create a fine Spider’s Web to trap you in. Once trapped she would do whatever she wanted to you.
She could be devilishly charming, always wanting to be the center of everyone’s attention. She made sure that everyone knew that she was there. She would work at trying to build you up. Love Bombing you with compliments and talk of being kindred spirits. Eventually the “Discard phase” would arrive with the backstabbing and smear campaign.
The idea of her being like a Spider was interesting.
Narcissists really are like Spiders. They build a web of lies and half truths, much like a Spider builds it’s Spider’s Web. Once they have their prey in their web, the Spider will feed off it. With the Narcissist you become a Source of Narcissistic Supply, which they will feed on. Eventually they find a new and to them better Source of Narcissistic Supply, so you get discarded. All that is left of a Spider’s prey is an empty shell. Survivors of narcissistic abuse will tell you that they are not the same person that they were before hooking up with their Narcissist.
Narcissists lack Empathy for others. Spiders also don’t care about the prey that they trap in their web. Both Spiders and Narcissists will happily Feed off their prey. Both Spiders and Narcissists are also always looking to trap more victims in their web.
My friend is not knowledgeable about the DSM-4 & 5 profile of people afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but his analogy of referring to this female as being like a Spider was extraordinarily perceptive and in my opinion sadly dead on. She is clearly someone to stay the hell away from.
Being in a relationship with a Narcissist once is your life, is in my opinion one time too many.
This video presentation is from the heart by someone who sadly has been there and done that.
How to spot a narcissist next time round before it’s too late.
Quote below is from what was posted with the video on the Daylight out of Darkness YouTube channel :
So I’m not going to give you a list of things to look out for because I actually believe that doesn’t help at all.
I think the most important thing to do is start paying attention to your own feelings inside while you are with that person. to make sure that you are meeting your own needs first. to pay attention to how you feel in the company of this person and I’m not talking about the in love feeling. how much you enjoy all the other interactions with this person and how this person reacts when you are meeting you are needs first on an ongoing basis. also picked up on the energy this person is emitting and how it is influencing you.
On some occasions it’s going to take you a while to realize someone is narcissistic or dysfunctional, but you will notice it after a short while if you are paying attention to your own needs and feelings, and then you can move on with grace.
The more healed you are inside as far as your emotional wounds the less your chances of actually ending up in a serious relationship with a narcissist. that’s why focusing on yourself is the most important criteria when it comes to narcissists and abuse.
Unfortunately the narcissist is like water he just molds to whatever receptacle he is poured into so sometimes it’s near impossible to pick up his narcissism from a checklist.
You are going to have to rely on your internal gauge. I believe this is the most important tool to living a healthy happy life and staying away from these dysfunctional characters. Link below to Daylight out of Darkness, “Shop Front”:
Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com/
Permission was granted via a Creative Commons License to include the long Quote above into this post.
Video is courtesy of the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors YouTube channel
To spot a Narcissist, watch out for Red Flags.
Mirroring is Red Flag #5, on Narcissist Support YouTube channel‘s list. I would tend to list it as Red Flag #1, because Narcissist are always Mirroring those that they interact with.
Mirroring is a Major Psychological Manipulation Technique and is consistently used by Narcissist, because Mirroring is so effective,
Narcissists have trained themselves to automatically start using it, so as to gain an advantage over those whom they are interacting with.
Mirroring is a Major Red Flag. Watch for it. When you spot that Mirroring is being used, you “Neutralize” a Major Psychological Manipulation Technique used by Narcissists.