Narcissistic Abuse: Why is Mirroring So Terrible?
Sereena shares some reasons why.
Video is courtesy of the Sereena Nightshade YouTube channel
Non verbal communication is far more powerful,
than spoken words.
The Narcissists will try to in effect “Morph” into you, their target.
Predators use Mirroring all the time.
Please make sure that you watch for it.
Video is courtesy of the Sereena Nightshade YouTube channel
Mirroring can establish rapport with the individual who is being mirrored, as the similarities in nonverbal gestures allow the individual to feel more connected with the person exhibiting the mirrored behavior. As the two individuals in the situation display similar nonverbal gestures, they may believe that they share similar attitudes and ideas as well. Mirror neurons react to and cause these movements, allowing the individuals to feel a greater sense of engagement and belonging within the situation.
The above Wikipedia text was taken from the following ref:
Iacoboni, M. (2008). Mirroring people: The new science of how we connect with others. New York, NY: Picador.
If you catch someone Mirroring you, consider that as being a major Red Flag that you could be interacting with a Predator Narcissist.
Ask yourself: Why would someone be using a Major Psychological Control Technique against you?
David Snyder discusses Speed Attraction.
Narcissists and Psychopaths are really good at establishing Rapport and Trust with their Targets. They do this using techniques which are below most people’s radar. Mirroring is a major Psychological Mind Control Technique used by Narcissists. Therapists may also use Mirroring to establish Trust with their patients. Trust can be real and created via shared experience, or false Trust can be programmed into someone’s mind and they will have no clue that they were manipulated.
Video is courtesy of the David Snyder YouTube channel
There is a video featured in a post on this site, by a Harvard Grad named Leslie Morgan Steiner. She was targeted by a Narcissist. She was talked into moving and became isolated from friends and family. Once she was isolated the abuse started and moved to physical abuse.She was programmed not to discuss the abuse with others. In the video she spoke of being physically abused. She stated that at the time her focus was not on the person physically abusing her. Her mind was focused on the false persona presented to her at the beginning of their relationship.
Mirroring and Love Bombing by the Narcissist installs Rapport and Trust deep into the victim’s mind. Again, Leslie focused on the false person whom she had been programmed to fall in love with. Someone who “did not exist”. She dismissed the physical abuse and focused on the false persona. She was very highly educated, yet the Narcissist was able to get inside her mind and manipulate her.
Learning about and then watching for the Red Flags like Mirroring, can give one a clue into the type of individual one is interacting with.
Watch the video and listen carefully to the way that David interacts with the people at his seminar – especially the females. Listen to how he shifts his tonality. He draws the Target in and starts asking question after question. He repeats what he has been told by the Target. He draws the Target in. Narcissists will sound like David, when they interact with their Targets. It is very subtle, yet very powerful and IMHO very dangerous if you are the Target.
Another verbal tactic of the Narcissist is to continually combine the target and themselves in statements they make. Take this statement fed to a Target by a Narc “You don’t Love Me anymore.“ stated as a joke to counter something negative which the Target just said. The Target laughs at the Narc’s statement and the Target’s state is changed. The Negative is thus removed from the Target’s mind. Narcs are really good at countering anything negative. Humor is non threatening and does not set off alarms. Yet the Narc’s stupid statement (given the situation where it had been used), clears the Target’s mind of negative thoughts.
The constant combination of “You” and “Me”, also helps to program a connection in the Target’s mind. All this flies below the radar and never sets off any alarms in the Target’s Mind. Next thing you know, the Target starts to feel that they have met their Soul Mate…
Mirroring is one the most important Red Flags displayed by Narcissists, on a consistent basis.
Mirroring someone can open the door into their mind. You can create “Trust”, “Rapport” and get someone to believe that you and them have established a “Connection”. Most people have never heard of Mirroring, allowing Narcissists to readily use it.
I recall one situation, the Cerebral Narc was standing and talking to some people. His target came by and she bent over placing her elbows on a counter. The Narc spotted her and went over and Mirrored her. He bent over the counter placing his elbows on the counter. She had no clue what was going on. The others also did not notice what the Narc was doing. As his target changed position, so did the Narc. He also started to adjust his tonality to better match her. It was classic. Only the Cerebral Narcissist and myself had any clue that he was manipulating his target.
Video is courtesy of the GilanGorkTV YouTube channel
Cluster-B Disordered individuals, such as Narcissist use Mirroring on a consistent basis (so do Psychopaths). Why ? Because it works. It lets them establish Trust and Rapport with their Target. This shuts down the Target’s natural Fight or Flight protective response.
Learn about Mirroring and then always watch for it.
Detailed description of how to Mirror people, to influence them. Mirroring is a Major Red Flag to watch for. It is a Mind Control Technique used by Narcissists.
Video is courtesy of the Fredo Hill YouTube channel
If you catch someone Mirroring you and they are Extraordinarily Charming and they always seem to be the Center of Attention when around people, you may want to visit google.com and do a search on Narcissist Red Flags.
Narcissists use Mind Control, Psychological and Persuasion Techniques to hook their Target.
I have mentioned Mirroring more than a few times, in posts on this site. Watching out for someone Mirroring you can become instinctive, if practiced. Mirroring is a very powerful Manipulation Technique.
Along with Mirroring, a person’s breathing pattern is a doorway into their mind. I’ll give two examples.
Mirroring the breathing pattern of your Target, will shut down their Flight or Fight response. The Narcissist will breathe in, when your Target does. The Narcissist will breathe out, when your target does. The target will have no clue that they are being manipulated big time. The target will then be receptive to the Narc’s further manipulations.
Another approach is the Narcissist giving the Target embedded commands and potential anchors “only” when the Target is breathing out. Once the Narc’s commands are anchored inside the Target’s mind, the Narcissist can trigger them whenever they want. The process does not have to be something that is repeated, though repetition helps to deepen the Narc’s programming of the Target.
What really amazes me is that Narcissists
do this stuff instinctively,
while the vast majority of the population
have no clue about these techniques.
Video is courtesy of the jjpersuader YouTube channel
Yes, I have a deep fascination of Mirroring. I also have a deep respect for it’s ability to influence and making it easy to manipulate others. It is a major Red Flag to watch for.
The video below discusses Mirror Neurons inside Human Brains.
Video is courtesy of the Integr8 YouTube channel
Yes I keep harping about Mirroring as being a Major Red Flag displayed by Narcissists. I’ve posted links to videos about it. Other links to videos showing brief demos of Mirroring.
The reasons why I harp, is because 99% of the visitors who come to this site have never even heard of Mirroring. In my opinion it could make them the perfect Target.
“How to Use “Mirroring” to Build Rapport | The Body Language of Business” video is courtesy of the BNET Video YouTube channel
When you are being Loved Bombed, you will also be mirrored. Actually Mirroring starts well before Love Bombing. Narcissist use it consistently. Rapport needs to be established. Once they have established Rapport with their target, then the Love Bombing can go into full swing. Mirroring helps one to establish Rapport – fake or otherwise. Mirroring “works”.
Want to learn how to spot mirroring? Call a friend or two and tell them that you are doing an experiment and that you’ll buy them lunch if they can help.
Head for a restaurant or fast food place. Go to a quiet corner. Your friend is to sit opposite from you. Ask your friend to pretend that he or she is a mirror and to make themselves look like you. If you move and arm, they are to move an arm. If you brush you hair back with your hand, they are to do the same. If you hold your head straight up, they do the same.
Once they have the hang of it. Watch them intently, while changing the way you are sitting and moving other body parts. You lift your glass, they do the same. You lean forward, they do the same. If they are good at Mirroring you, ask them to see if they can Mirror your breathing pattern. They will inhale, when you inhale. Mirroring Breathing is indicative of being very highly skilled at Mirroring.
Keep this up for about five minutes. When you are “not” a Narcissist, it is hard work to mirror someone. So now switch. You will mirror your friend sitting across from you. Do this for five minutes. Not easy? Your narcissist can do this without even thinking. Practice make perfect and they use mirroring all the time.
Switch again. and go for another 5 minutes. Take a break and then start again.
Go to a different location and get your friend to mirror you after eating lunch. Then you try mirroring your friend. Try it while you are walking somewhere. With practice you will become very familiar with what someone mirroring you looks like and feels like.
“Best Methods to Build Rapport – Anthony Robbins” video is courtesy of the Mobtaker SA YouTube channel
There may be gender differences. If your friend this time around was a female, then another time invite a male friend to help you.
Next watch people. If you take public transit, Watch couples and see if one mirrors the other. If you take public transit after work, watch the office workers. in groups. Watch for mirroring. You need the practice to be able to instinctively spot it. It is a seriously cool feeling when you can pickup someone mirroring you when you least expect it and were not looking for it. I was shocked when that first happened to me.
See if you can maybe get a group of friends to have meetings specifically to practice mirroring each other while shopping, walking in the park or zoo, watching TV, at a Library, restaurants, bars and even at work. Your group will be learning a “major life skill” (I’m very serious about that statement).
Mirroring works. It is a very powerful psychological manipulation tool. By learning to watch for mirroring you also learn how to mirror. That skill may come in handy during your next job interview. People hire people who they feel are like themselves. Yes you will also be able to manipulate people using your new Mirroring skills. Plse do not do so. Use it to protect yourself from being manipulated. This is one way to spot Narcissists, who will always use mirroring.
Learn all the other Red Flags. If Red Flags show up while you are interacting with someone, then stop and ask ask yourself why? If they keep showing up, then you might want to ask yourself if this person is someone you could want to have minimal to no contact with.