Category: Traits of Narcissists

Female Narcissist Versus Male Narcissist

This video discusses the differences between the Somatic Female Narcissist and a typical Male Narcissist.

Video is courtesy of the From Surviving To Thriving!! YouTube channel

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Psychotherapist Terri Cole discusses Traits and Red Flags, to help you tell if you are dating a Narcissist.

Video is courtesy of the Terri Cole YouTube channel

Terri Cole also wrote:

When it comes to being in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s difficult to find any real intimacy because everything is about your functionality in their life. Narcissists can love only on a superficial level. As long as you are doing what they think you are supposed to be doing, all is well (and when i say ‘well’ I mean they get what they want and you stay unsatisfied, unseen and unheard.) The moment you deny them exactly what they want, look out! They will explode, get mean and do just about anything to get you back in line with their plan. If you don’t comply, they will leave.

Actions and conversations with a narcissist all revolve around building them up, even when it’s “about you,” it’s really about them – they get to “show you off to their friends.” That isn’t about you at all. It’s about their ego and how you make them look.

You can learn more about Terri Cole by visiting her website by clicking on this line.

You can also checkout her social Media pages as listed below:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TerriColeLCS...
Twitter: https://twitter.com/terri_cole
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terricole/
Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/terricoleLCSW/

Terri Cole’s video above, reminded me of a particular Somatic Narcissist that I once had to deal with.

Husband kills family, then self

The female had called police about a verbal argument with her husband saying that she had feared for her life. The Police came to the home, but the husband was no longer there. The police informed her about getting a Protection From Abuse Order. She indicated that she would do so, but never followed through. Trauma Bonding messes up the logical thinking of the abused victim.

If the Police are suggesting to get a Protection From Abuse Order, then do it. The husband apparently purchased a legal handgun the following day.

Abusive and Disordered people fear abandonment. Some fear abandonment more than they fear death. The abuse is to keep the victim in line and under control.

The Disordered Individual cannot handle losing control. One solution is to eliminate the problem. Because Narcissists know right from wrong (unlike with Psychopaths where right or wrong do not exist) they will realize that they just murdered their family. The embarrassment of going to trial and media attention would be too great for their fragile Ego to handle. So they kill themselves.

If you are in an abusive relationship and considering leaving, please contact your local Law Enforcement. They can also inform you of other assistance available to you – like Battered Women’s Shelters. Listen to the Police and follow through by getting any suggested Court Orders. By getting Law Enforcement to visit the family home, a Disordered Individual such as an abusive Narcissist could reconsider escalating the violence, since it has now been made public. It anything goes to Court, a Police Officer’s testimony will trump a Narcissist’s great sounding BS.

The video below is a Heads Up that Disordered Individuals can damage way more than your emotional well being. They can literally destroy you and possibly your children. Learning about the Red Flags to watch for is so very important. Better to walk away when multiple Red Flags are displayed, than becoming involved with a Disordered Individuals and later getting emotionally and or physicically abused or even killed.

Video is courtesy of the Inside Edition YouTube channel

The 8 Most Common Narc-Sadistic Conversation Control Tactics

Do you often engage in conversations with your narcissist that leave you feeling like you were talking to a brick wall, or worse maybe leave you feeling like banging your head against a brick wall?…

Source: The 8 Most Common Narc-Sadistic Conversation Control Tactics

This post is courtesy of Bree Bonchay. Click on this line to visit her website at https://relationshipedia.me/2015/06/16/the-8-most-common-narc-sadistic-conversation-control-tactics/

Bree Bonchay is also the author of the book titled: “I Am Free: Healing Stories About Surviving Toxic Relationships With Narcissists And Sociopaths“. Click on this Link to visit Amazon.com to learn more about purchasing Bree Bonchay’s book.

How to Improve your Narcissist Radar and be able to Spot Narcissists Faster.

A “rather novel” way to learn how Narcissists act. Sit back and watch for a Narcissist’s Red Flags, Traits and Manipulations. Fine tune your Narcissist Radar and Spot Narcissists Faster.

Video is courtesy of the Self Plus Love YouTube channel

After viewing the YouTube video above, you can visit the resources mentioned in it by clicking on the links below:

Real Housewives of NY (Season 8): http://goo.gl/mNjnnc
Real Housewives of Dallas: http://goo.gl/migPt7

Red Flags of Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Jeni Mawter

Usage tip. When the slides below start to display and if you have a mouse with a center wheel on the top of the mouse, place your cursor onto the displayed slide. Now turn that center wheel and you can scroll back and forth thru the slides, using the center wheel. I find it easier to do that, than to use the arrows just below the slide display.

 

Click on this link to visit the website run by Jeni Mawter

How to Deal with Cunning Deceitful Manipulative People

This video introduces a new term “Cunning Deceitful Manipulative People” and how to deal with them at work.  Listening to the video, the author is describing tactics of Narcissists.

The presenter describes effective coping strategies. Start by learning about the Manipulators Tactics. In other words watch for the Red Flags, which are always given off by what the presenter calls Cunning Deceitful Manipulative People.

Don’t fight with them, because you can’t win.

Make sure that you have a social network to help support you. Set boundaries and don’t allow yourself to be talked into moving them.

Run if you can, in other words Go No Contact.

Lots of sound advice from the trenches…

Video is courtesy of the Ammar Mango YouTube channel

5 Relationship Red Flags which are not so obvious and so we confuse them with Real Love

There are a few posts on this site which discuss the major Red Flags to watch for. Those are typical and obvious Red Flags, which many have posted about.

This video goes beyond that. Dr. Rose Moten discuss less obvious behavioural Red Flags which could be mistaken as your “other” being Love Struck with you.

Lots of points to learn and keep in mind when starting a new relationship. Behaviour which does not stand out, like Love Bombing or Mirroring, can be easily dismissed. Red Flags should be noted. The more Red Flags found, increases the odds that you could be interacting with a Disordered Individual.

Continue reading

Are Narcissists like Spiders?

A friend made an interesting comment. It was about a female Somatic Narcissist which we both know.

My friend made a comment that she was much like a Spider. She would create a fine Spider’s Web to trap you in. Once trapped she would do whatever she wanted to you.

SPIDER home_2_bg_091303

Photo courtesy PDPhoto.org

She could be devilishly charming, always wanting to be the center of everyone’s attention. She made sure that everyone knew that she was there. She would work at trying to build you up. Love Bombing you with compliments and talk of being kindred spirits.  Eventually the “Discard phase” would arrive with the backstabbing and smear campaign.

The idea of her being like a Spider was interesting.

Narcissists really are like Spiders. They build a web of lies and half truths,  much like a Spider builds it’s Spider’s Web. Once they have their prey in their web, the Spider will feed off it. With the Narcissist you become a Source of Narcissistic Supply, which they will feed on. Eventually they find a new and to them better Source of Narcissistic Supply, so you get discarded. All that is left of a Spider’s prey is an empty shell. Survivors of narcissistic abuse will tell you that they are not the same person that they were before hooking up with their Narcissist.

Narcissists lack Empathy for others. Spiders also don’t care about the prey that they trap in their web. Both Spiders and Narcissists will happily Feed off their prey. Both Spiders and Narcissists are also always looking to trap more victims in their web.

My friend is not knowledgeable about the DSM-4 & 5 profile of people afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but his analogy of referring to this female as being like a Spider was extraordinarily perceptive and in my opinion sadly dead on. She is clearly someone to stay the hell away from.

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Narcissist Suzie gets a new victim. Episode 1 – Falling into the trap.

This video gives one an insight into the behaviour, thinking and traits of a Narcissist. I love the line in the video where she states “I think you are my Soul Mate“. That line, and variations of it, is a Narcissist favorite to use during the Love Bombing phase.

BTW, once you have been “primed” by a Narcissist, other Narcissists are able to pick you out of a crowd (see this prior post about a really informative lecture from Christine De Canonville).

Narcissist Suzie gets a new victim.

Video is courtesy of the begood4000 YouTube channel

How to spot a narcissist next time round before it’s too late.

Being in a relationship with a Narcissist once is your life, is in my opinion one time too many.

This video presentation is from the heart by someone who sadly has been there and done that.

How to spot a narcissist next time round before it’s too late.

Quote below is from what was posted with the video on the Daylight out of Darkness YouTube channel :

So I’m not going to give you a list of things to look out for because I actually believe that doesn’t help at all.

I think the most important thing to do is start paying attention to your own feelings inside while you are with that person. to make sure that you are meeting your own needs first. to pay attention to how you feel in the company of this person and I’m not talking about the in love feeling. how much you enjoy all the other interactions with this person and how this person reacts when you are meeting you are needs first on an ongoing basis. also picked up on the energy this person is emitting and how it is influencing you.

On some occasions it’s going to take you a while to realize someone is narcissistic or dysfunctional, but you will notice it after a short while if you are paying attention to your own needs and feelings, and then you can move on with grace.

The more healed you are inside as far as your emotional wounds the less your chances of actually ending up in a serious relationship with a narcissist. that’s why focusing on yourself is the most important criteria when it comes to narcissists and abuse.

Unfortunately the narcissist is like water he just molds to whatever receptacle he is poured into so sometimes it’s near impossible to pick up his narcissism from a checklist.

You are going to have to rely on your internal gauge. I believe this is the most important tool to living a healthy happy life and staying away from these dysfunctional characters. Link below to Daylight out of Darkness, “Shop Front”:
http://daylightoutofdarkness.spreadsh…

Video is courtesy of the

Daylight out of Darkness YouTube channel

Click on this line to also visit the the Daylight out of Darkness Google Plus website.

Click on this line to visit the Daylight out of Darkness Facebook page.

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com/
Permission was granted via a Creative Commons License to include the long Quote above into this post.

Narcissists can be very charming, which is another Red Flag to watch for by Tracy Malone

Narcissists can be very Charming. That is until you figure out why they are being so Charming.

In this video Tracy Malone discusses how the Narcissists who had crossed paths with her were Oh So Charming. This is another Major Red Flag to carefully watch for. 

Video courtesy of the Tracy Malone YouTUbe channel

“Rushing Intimacy” a Red Flag to watch for by Tracy Malone

Tracy Malone’s videos go into intimate details about of the Red Flags of the Narcissists who had crossed her path. In this video she discusses “Rushing Intimacy” as being a major Red Flag to watch out for. She also describes. from the Heart, what she is going thru while recovering from Narcissistic Abuse.

May I suggest to check out Tracy Malone’s YouTube channel. Really grateful that she allows the sharing of her superb videos.

Video courtesy of the Tracy Malone YouTube channel

“Lack of Object Constancy” is a Narcissistic Trait and Red Flag to watch for

This video discusses “Lack of Object Constancy” which is another Trait and Red Flag of a Narcissist to watch for.

Video is courtesy of the Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome YouTube channel

Click on this line to visit the Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome Facebook page.

The video below is posted by someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. She discusses a therapy session about Lack of Object Constancy. What she mentions, also applies to Narcissists. Note that she is actively seeking treatment via Therapy Sessions, which is something a Narcissist would rarely (if ever) do.

Video is courtesy of The Borderline Life YouTube channel

Click on this line to visit the Out of The Fog website to read their post titled : Lack of Object Constancy.

 

Posted to uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Narcissistic people use denial as a brainwashing technique

Good article about the Narcissistic use of “Denial”, which is yet another Narcissist Trait and Red Flag to watch out for.

I recall one time being told “Why would I have said something like that?”, How does a “rational” person respond to someone denying something which they clearly said or did? They also do not blink their eyes when making their denial. Non-Narcissists will generally blink their eyes when they tell a lie.

Narcissistic people use denial as a brainwashing technique

by The Minds Journal Editorial · April 30, 2016

Manipulators less convincing online than in person, UBC research shows


UBC psychology professor Michael Woodworth

If you have to negotiate business with a narcissist or psychopath, you’re better off doing it on Facebook, research from UBC Okanagan shows.

In one of the first studies of its kind, UBC researchers found that traditionally successful manipulators who are classified as being part of the Dark Triad (DT)—people with narcissistic, psychopathic or Machiavellian tendencies—don’t send very compelling online messages.

“The results of this study are pretty clear—once you remove non-verbal cues such as body language from the equation, the ability to smoke out narcissists and psychopaths becomes easier,” says UBC psychology professor Michael Woodworth.We can also conclude that it is very likely that the qualities that allow these people to successfully charm, manipulate, intimidate or exploit others appear to require a live, in-person audience.

The study, titled “The Dark Side of Negotiation”, was conducted between October 2013 and February 2014 and included more than 200 Canadian university students, a proportion of whom were identified as having various qualities on the DT spectrum.

After being randomly assigned to either a face-to-face or computer-mediated contact group, the students were asked to negotiate for concert tickets, either as a buyer or a seller, with the ultimate goal of achieving maximum financial benefit for themselves.

Consistent with other studies, Woodworth’s research concluded that those who ranked higher on the DT spectrum were more successful in face-to-face negotiations than they were online. Surprisingly, the research also concluded that higher-ranking DT participants were 12.5 percent less successful in online negotiations than those ranking lower on the spectrum.

Students’ placement on the spectrum varied depending on individual characteristics and attributes.

Each of the three parts of the DT has distinct traits. Psychopaths tend to lack empathy and be anti-social. Narcissists lean toward grandiosity and self-adoration. People with Machiavellian qualities are goal-oriented, calculated manipulators.

“While there has long been a fascination with DT personalities and how they can impact ‘ordinary’ people, little has been studied as to how these people behave online,” says Woodworth.

What this research tells us is that if you want to be confident in your ability not be taken in by these types of known manipulators, you’re probably better off dealing with them online.

Working with Woodworth on the project were honours student Lisa Crossley, graduate student Pamela Black and UBC Professor Emeritus Bob Hare. The study was published this month in the journal of Personality and Individual Differences.

Woodworth and Crossley are now conducting similar DT research involving deception.

Story Source:
The above post is reprinted from materials provided by University of British Columbia. Click on these 2 lines to view the original post on the UBC website.

The above was posted with permission from The University of British Columbia, as they publish under Creative Commons License as follow:

Uniquely Narcissistic Thanks UBC for permission to share this post.

How to spot the red flags and warning signs of NPD