Category: Traits of the Female Somatic Narcissist

Female Narcissist Versus Male Narcissist

This video discusses the differences between the Somatic Female Narcissist and a typical Male Narcissist.

Video is courtesy of the From Surviving To Thriving!! YouTube channel

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Are Narcissists Achievers, or are Narcissists Losers and Failures?

Somatic Narcissists come across as being Laid back. Somatic Narcs it seems lack education, focus, goals and drive and as such achieve little. They are generally low level employees.

Cerebral Narcissist, on the other hand, do climb high up the Corporate Ladder. They can also cause major problems for the firm. Their focus is on themselves and getting praise from those whom they have classified as “high quality” Narcissistic Supply. They generally have no clue how to motivate a Team and as such can lose really good employees who will quit.

I have crossed paths with Cerebral Narcs who were totally focused on themselves. Every conversation and every meeting included them praising themselves. People further up the ladder had a disdain for them and their further advancement up the Corporate Ladder was blocked. The only ones who could not see this were a couple of Flying Monkeys who would watch the Cerebral Narcs every move and follow and praise him.

Narcissists “need you” to praise and worship their every move. They can suffer Major Narcissistic Injury (potentially suicidal), if their “High Value” source of Narcissistic Supply goes No Contact.

So on one hand Narcissists think that they are Perfect. On the other they “need” others to confirm their “illusion” of perfection. Winners live in the real world.  In my opinion, the Abandonment Trauma which created the Narcissist when they were just a Baby, did not create a Winner…

Video is courtesy of the Sam Vaknin YouTube channel

Somatic Narcissists, the DESTROYERS of Your Reputation

You will never know when the Somatic Narcissist’s Smear Campaign starts.

If you go No Contact, then expect the unexpected, especially in a place of employment. Not providing a Somatic Narcissist with the Attention (Narcissistic Supply) which they crave, can turn the Narcissist against you. They will inform upper management that they can’t stand working there because you are there. They will smear your reputation. If you ever find out about their Smear Campaign, it will be way too late for damage Control. All that just because you decided to stay the hell away from them and go As Little As Possible to No Contact.

Somatic Narcissists can become
the DESTROYERS of Your Reputation.

Cerebral Narcissists, I have found will not do that. They are smart enough to realize that you will not play their game and will either leave you alone or work to get you fired as soon as possible. Cerebral Narcissists are much further up the Corporate Ladder and “can” get you fired with little effort. No need for a long term Smear Campaign, which would be beneath them.

Somatic Narcissist in general are low level employees, who do not have the education and smarts to climb any Corporate Ladder. They use their physical appearance and superficial Charm to attract Targets.

Video is courtesy of the mfromcanada1 YouTube channel

Psychotherapist Terri Cole discusses Traits and Red Flags, to help you tell if you are dating a Narcissist.

Video is courtesy of the Terri Cole YouTube channel

Terri Cole also wrote:

When it comes to being in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s difficult to find any real intimacy because everything is about your functionality in their life. Narcissists can love only on a superficial level. As long as you are doing what they think you are supposed to be doing, all is well (and when i say ‘well’ I mean they get what they want and you stay unsatisfied, unseen and unheard.) The moment you deny them exactly what they want, look out! They will explode, get mean and do just about anything to get you back in line with their plan. If you don’t comply, they will leave.

Actions and conversations with a narcissist all revolve around building them up, even when it’s “about you,” it’s really about them – they get to “show you off to their friends.” That isn’t about you at all. It’s about their ego and how you make them look.

You can learn more about Terri Cole by visiting her website by clicking on this line.

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Terri Cole’s video above, reminded me of a particular Somatic Narcissist that I once had to deal with.

Are Narcissists like Spiders?

A friend made an interesting comment. It was about a female Somatic Narcissist which we both know.

My friend made a comment that she was much like a Spider. She would create a fine Spider’s Web to trap you in. Once trapped she would do whatever she wanted to you.

SPIDER home_2_bg_091303

Photo courtesy PDPhoto.org

She could be devilishly charming, always wanting to be the center of everyone’s attention. She made sure that everyone knew that she was there. She would work at trying to build you up. Love Bombing you with compliments and talk of being kindred spirits.  Eventually the “Discard phase” would arrive with the backstabbing and smear campaign.

The idea of her being like a Spider was interesting.

Narcissists really are like Spiders. They build a web of lies and half truths,  much like a Spider builds it’s Spider’s Web. Once they have their prey in their web, the Spider will feed off it. With the Narcissist you become a Source of Narcissistic Supply, which they will feed on. Eventually they find a new and to them better Source of Narcissistic Supply, so you get discarded. All that is left of a Spider’s prey is an empty shell. Survivors of narcissistic abuse will tell you that they are not the same person that they were before hooking up with their Narcissist.

Narcissists lack Empathy for others. Spiders also don’t care about the prey that they trap in their web. Both Spiders and Narcissists will happily Feed off their prey. Both Spiders and Narcissists are also always looking to trap more victims in their web.

My friend is not knowledgeable about the DSM-4 & 5 profile of people afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but his analogy of referring to this female as being like a Spider was extraordinarily perceptive and in my opinion sadly dead on. She is clearly someone to stay the hell away from.

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Post-Separation & Post-Divorce Lesbians

Post-Separation Lesbians is something which can happen to Narcissists who get rejected / abandoned usually by another, but different kind of Narcissist. For example the Cerebral male Narc unceremoniously dumps his lover, a Somatic female Narc. The Somatic female suffers Narcissistic Injury. She then looks for a woman to become her Lover and new Source of Narcissistic Supply.

The article “Post-Divorce Lesbians” posted on the First Wives World website addresses the switch to finding a Lesbian Lover, after a divorce or separation from a male ex.

Click on this line to visit the First Wives World website to read their post titled “Post-Divorce Lesbians: Looking for Affection?”.

Homosexual, Lesbian, BiSexual and TransSexual Narcissists

Narcissists will form relationships with whomever they can. Just because they are in a “traditional” marriage, does not mean that they are strictly “heterosexual”.

Narcissistic Injury can also flip sexual preference. For example: A female Somatic Narcissist who gets rejected and dumped for a far better source of Narcissist Supply by her male Cerebral Narcissist lover, may go through an Abandonment Trauma event and suffer a major Narcissistic Injury, So she then seeks out sexual relationships with other women.

The only stability is from adamantly Lesbian or Gay Narcissists. Yes they can seek new partners, but will not look for a heterosexual type of relationship. It’s the “pretend” heterosexual Narcissists, who could swing either way.

That leads to a Sam Vaknin article titled “

 Homosexual and Transsexual Narcissists

Frequently Asked Questions # 18

Homosexual narcissists are auto-erotic and somatic: they leverage their body and sexuality to obtain narcissistic supply.

 Transsexual narcissists feel entitled to special treatment and cosseting.

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 By: Dr. Sam Vaknin

Malignant Self Love – Buy the Book – Click HERE!!!

 Relationships with Abusive Narcissists – Buy the e-Books – Click HERE!!!

Click on this line to visit Sam Vaknin’s website.

Sam Vaknin has given permission to share his article, as follows:

Question:

What is the typical profile of a homosexual narcissist? Why is he always on a lookout for new victims? Is he lying or is he telling the truth when he says that he “wants to get laid” by one and all? If he is not suicidal, is he not afraid of AIDS?

Answer:

Research failed to find any substantive difference between the psychological make-up of a narcissist who happens to have homosexual preferences – and a heterosexual narcissist.

They both are predators, devouring Narcissistic Supply Sources as they go. Narcissists look for new victims, the way tigers look for prey – they are hungry. Hungry for adoration, admiration, acceptance, approval, and any other kind of attention. Old sources die easy – once taken for granted, the narcissistic element of conquest vanishes.

Conquest is important because it proves the superiority of the narcissist. The very act of subduing, subjugating, or acquiring the power to influence someone provides the narcissist with Narcissistic Supply. The newly conquered idolise the narcissist and serve as a trophies.

The act of conquering and subordinating is epitomized by the sexual encounter – an objective and atavistic interaction. Making love to someone means that the consenting partner finds the narcissist (or one or more of his traits, such as his intelligence, his physique, even his money) irresistible.

The distinction between passive and active sexual partners is mechanical, false, superfluous and superficial. Penetration does not make one of the parties “the stronger one”. To cause someone to have sex with you is a powerful stimulus – and always provokes a sensation of omnipotence. Whether one is physically passive or active – one is always psychosexually active.

Anyone who has unsafe sex is gambling with his life – though the odds are much smaller than public hysteria would have us believe. Reality does not matter, though – it is the perception of reality that matters. Getting this close to (perceived) danger is the equivalent of engaging in self-destruction (suicide). Narcissists are, at times, suicidal and are always self-destructive.

There is, however, one element, which might be unique to homosexuals: the fact that their self-definition hinges on their sexual identity. I know of no heterosexual who would use his sexual preferences to define himself almost fully. Homosexuality has been inflated to the level of a sub-culture, a separate psychology, or a myth. This is typical of persecuted minorities. However, it does have an influence on the individual. Preoccupation with body and sex makes most homosexual narcissists SOMATIC narcissists.

Moreover, the homosexual makes love to a person of the SAME sex – in a way, to his REFLECTION. In this respect, homosexual relations are highly narcissistic and autoerotic affairs.

This article appears in my book, “Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited”

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The somatic narcissist directs his libido at his body (as opposed to the cerebral narcissist, who concentrates upon his intellect). He cultivates it, nourishes and nurtures it, is often an hypochondriac, dedicates an inordinate amount of time to its needs (real and imaginary). It is through his body that this type of narcissist tracks down and captures his Supply Sources.

The supply that the somatic narcissist so badly requires is derived from his form, his shape, his build, his profile, his beauty, his physical attractiveness, his health, his age. He downplays Narcissistic Supply directed at other traits. He uses sex to reaffirm his prowess, his attractiveness, or his youth. Love, to him, is synonymous with sex and he focuses his learning skills on the sexual act, the foreplay and the coital aftermath.

Seduction becomes addictive because it leads to a quick succession of Supply Sources. Naturally, boredom (a form of transmuted aggression) sets in once the going gets routine. Routine is counter-narcissistic by definition because it threatens the narcissist’s sense of uniqueness.

An interesting side issue relates to transsexuals.

Philosophically, there is little difference between a narcissist who seeks to avoid his True Self (and positively to become his False Self) – and a transsexual who seeks to discard his true gender. But this similarity, though superficially appealing, is questionable.

People sometimes seek sex reassignment because of advantages and opportunities which, they believe, are enjoyed by the other sex. This rather unrealistic (fantastic) view of the other is faintly narcissistic. It includes elements of idealised over-valuation, of self-preoccupation, and of objectification of one’s self. It demonstrates a deficient ability to empathise and some grandiose sense of entitlement (“I deserve to be taken care of”) and omnipotence (“I can be whatever I want to be – despite nature/God”).

This feeling of entitlement is especially manifest in some gender dysphoric individuals who aggressively pursue hormonal or surgical treatment. They feel that it is their inalienable right to receive it on demand and without any strictures or restrictions. For instance, they oftentimes refuse to undergo psychological evaluation or treatment as a condition for the hormonal or surgical treatment.

It is interesting to note that both narcissism and gender dysphoria are early childhood phenomena. This could be explained by problematic Primary Objects, dysfunctional families, or a common genetic or biochemical problem. It is too early to say which. As yet, there isn’t even an agreed typology of gender identity disorders – let alone an in-depth comprehension of their sources.

A radical view, proffered by Ray Blanchard, seems to indicate that pathological narcissism is more likely to be found among non-core, ego-dystonic, autogynephilic transsexulas and among heterosexual transvestites. It is less manifest in core, ego-syntonic, homosexual transsexuals.

Autogynephilic transsexuals are subject to an intense urge to become the opposite sex and, thus, to be rendered the sexual object of their own desire. In other words, they are so sexually attracted to themselves that they wish to become both lovers in the romantic equation – the male and the female. It is the fulfilment of the ultimate narcissistic fantasy with the False Self as a fetish (“narcissistic fetish”).

Autogynephilic transsexuals start off as heterosexuals and end up as either bisexual or homosexual. By shifting his/her attentions to men, the male autogynephilic transsexual “proves” to himself that he has finally become a “true” and desirable woman.

Asexual – or Autosexual?

The label “asexual” has come to signify anyone who does not feel the need to engage in partnered sex. This is misleading. People who avoid having sex with others, but masturbate on a regular basis and as an exclusive sexual outlet are not asexual – they are autosexual.

All autosexuals are autoerotic, but only a minority of autoerotics are autosexual. Autoeroticism more frequently finds expression via activities such as same-sex partnerships (homosexuality) or incest (which is sex with the living expression of one’s own genetic makeup).

Also Read

The Natural Roots of Sexuality

The Roots of Pedophilia

Gender and the Narcissist

Sex and Gender

The Pathology of Love

Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hide

The World of the Narcissist

The Narcissistic Couple

Physique Dysmorphique

Narcissists and Women

The Two Loves of the Narcissist

Portrait of the Narcissist as a Young Man

That Thing Between a Man and a Woman

Ethical Relativism and Absolute Taboos

The Offspring of Aeolus: On the Incest Taboo

Psychosexual Stages of Development

Sex and Personality Disorders

Narcissists, Sex and Fidelity

Narcissists, Psychopaths, Sex, and Marital Fidelity

You can click on this line to visit Sam Vaknin’s website to read the source article.

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“Lack of Object Constancy” is a Narcissistic Trait and Red Flag to watch for

This video discusses “Lack of Object Constancy” which is another Trait and Red Flag of a Narcissist to watch for.

Video is courtesy of the Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome YouTube channel

Click on this line to visit the Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome Facebook page.

The video below is posted by someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. She discusses a therapy session about Lack of Object Constancy. What she mentions, also applies to Narcissists. Note that she is actively seeking treatment via Therapy Sessions, which is something a Narcissist would rarely (if ever) do.

Video is courtesy of The Borderline Life YouTube channel

Click on this line to visit the Out of The Fog website to read their post titled : Lack of Object Constancy.

 

Posted to uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Narcissistic people use denial as a brainwashing technique

Good article about the Narcissistic use of “Denial”, which is yet another Narcissist Trait and Red Flag to watch out for.

I recall one time being told “Why would I have said something like that?”, How does a “rational” person respond to someone denying something which they clearly said or did? They also do not blink their eyes when making their denial. Non-Narcissists will generally blink their eyes when they tell a lie.

Narcissistic people use denial as a brainwashing technique

by The Minds Journal Editorial · April 30, 2016

What it was like being in a relationship with a Narcissist.

This is a rather informative video. A Victim shares details from his 6 year long abusive relationship with a Somatic Narcissist.

It was surprising how this video essentially describes a Somatic Narcissist’s Playbook. Narcissists work from the same script, no matter where they live.

One interesting aspect of this video is that Mr. Smith is a Therapist, which goes to show that Narcissists can fool everyone. Narcissists really are amazing actors.

Video is courtesy of the familytreecounseling YouTube channel

The female Somatic Narcissist and the Antisocial Sociopath con artist Narcissist.

This is the first of two videos. It covers the the female Somatic Narcissist and the Antisocial Sociopath con artist Narcissist.

The Cluster B & Me YouTube channel is well worth visiting to view the many informative videos.

Video is courtesy of the Cluster B & Me YouTube channel

 

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Red Flag of a Narcissist #4: Extremely Charming


This is video #4 in this series on red flags of a Narcissist. Like with all the other videos, not every Narcissist will have every red flag, nor will they have every red flag to a troubling degree. Pay attention to the red flags and get out sooner than later.

Click on this line to visit the www.NarcissistSupport.com website.

Narcissists do not get better, and they will always cause chaos and destruction in your life as long as they are in it.

Video is courtesy of the Narcissist Support YouTube channel

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

How Do You Know if a Sociopath, Narcissist or Borderline Is Lying?

How Do You Know if a

Sociopath, Narcissist or Borderline Is Lying?

Video is courtesy of the Paul Elam YouTube channel

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Red Flag to watch for: Narcissists can pour on the fake Charm

Narcissists have an innate need to be the Centre of Attention when other people are around. They will be loud and boisterous, all in a pretty charming sort of way. They will command the attention of those around them. If they pick you as their next Target, you will be on the receiving end of their endless charm. That endless Charm is really another aspect of Love Bombing.

Why have you become their next Target? Because they want something that you have, or can give them, or your status can also shine on them when they are constantly seen by your side.

Narcissists can be pretty Charming, until you understand why they are being so Charming.

The video below discusses Narcsissistic Charm as being a Red Flag which one can look out for.

Video is courtesy of the Overcoming Understanding YouTube channel

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Narcissists are pretty charming, until you understand why they are so Charming.

Narcissists are Charming, until you understand why they are so Chamring. Quote by "Uniquely Narcissistic"

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Narcissist Personality Disorder: the incurable mind

abeautifulbadpuppy

We all know one. Maybe two. That boss who thinks he or she is a god. That spouse who is never wrong. That co-worker who always finds a scapegoat to take the blame. Are they just irritating people with few social skills or do they have Narcissistic Personality Disorder? (NPD)

There are certain indicators for NPD. Narcissists will have many, but not all of these:

  1. Narcissists believe they are better than everyone else. They believe they are better looking, more talented, smarter, their skills are superior. They often express disdain for those whom they consider inferior. They may have a grandiose personality, they may believe they are a god.
  2. They fantasize about their power, success and attractiveness. They will paint a very attractive picture of their goals, but it’s all smoke and mirrors, to convince you of their superiority.
  3. They love to talk about themselves. They can often be charming and entertaining…

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Traits of the Female Somatic Narcissist. If you are targeted by one of these, may I suggest that you run as fast and as far away as you can.

Somatic Female Narcissists will target both Males and Females.

They have an extreme need to always be the center of attention in each and every situation where others are around. They are always “marketing themselves” and so watch for that trait.

Female Somatic Narcissists can be Bi-Sexual, both males and females are sought out as sources of Narcissistic Supply. If they find out that you recently broke off a relationship with someone, then they know that you are very vulnerable and you will suddenly and very persistently be showered with their attention (Love Bombing). They will launch a “Major Marketing Campaign“, to reel you in.

They are Puppet Masters who attach strings, which they then control at will. Do you really want to become their Puppet?

Video is courtesy of the Cluster B & Me YouTube channel

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com