Your Brain on Love, Sex and the Narcissist: The Addiction to Bonding with our Abusers
by Shahida Arabi
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April 27, 2015
Many survivors of narcissistic abuse are confounded by the addiction they feel to the narcissist, long after the abusive relationship took a toll on their physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Make no mistake: recovery from an abusive relationship can be very similar to withdrawal from drug addiction due to the biochemical bonds we may develop with our toxic ex-partners.
Understanding why we are…
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Trauma Bonding or Stockholm Syndrome can occur when the abused individual is made to go thru alternating Reward / Punishment cycles. A simple act of kindness during an abusive situation, can mess up the victim’s brain chemistry. The kindness event is short lived, as the abuser goes back into Narcissistic Abuse mode. Unfortunately for the victim of the abuse, a Trauma Bond may have started to form.
Very well presented video about Trauma Bonding, which at first establishes what Stockholm Syndrome and Trauma Bonding is. Then details the Reward Punishment cycle, which is used to “hook you”.
Video is courtesy of the Inner Integration YouTube channel
Video is courtesy of the Annabel Lee YouTube channel
Recovering from a Heroin Addiction is said to be easier to do, than to recover from Abusive Relationship with a Narcissist, if Trauma Bonding has occurred.
Video is courtesy of the Sacha Slone YouTube channel
Sacha Slone discusses brain chemicals which could help keep the Victim of Narcissistic Abuse conditioned to remain in the relationship, not unlike a Drug Addiction. The biochemicals in the brain may also help create Trauma Bonding or Stockholm Syndrome.
The helplessness is learned, over time, using the Biochemistry created by using Reward and Punishment. Victims are trained to become dependent on the Narcissist. People outside of the abusive relationship can never understand why the Victim cannot leave such a relationship.
In this TedX Talk titled : “Return from Chaos: Treating PTSD“, Peter Tuerk introduces how we process experiences and trauma. Using examples from his research, he describes how it’s possible to process memories and their associated meanings to overcome a traumatic incident.
Sadly many who get ensnared in an abusive relationship, with a individual afflicted with a Cluster-B Disorder like Narcissism, can end up suffering from PTSD. It is not only Soldiers returning home from battle who get PTSD. Experiencing Repetitive Trauma can lead anyone towards getting PTSD.
This video offers hope that PTSD is a highly treatable condition.
Getting proper help and treatment can help one get their life back.
Video is courtesy of the TEDx Talks YouTube channel