Going No Contact can open the door to one’s freedom from being abused in a Relationship with a Narcissist.
Lisa has some insights into the “Creation” of Codependents. Not a typo – I agree with her observation that Codependents are “created”.
Narcissists look for and Target Codependents and Empaths.
Video is courtesy of the Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc. YouTube channel
I have read different opinions posted on blogs regarding going No Contact. Everyone’s mileage may differ. I have seen how someone going Little to No Contact affects Narcissists.
When a Narcissist targets someone, what do they do? The Narcissist will go “Full Contact”, via their Love Bombing. Going No Contact is the opposite of Love Bombing. It is unknown territory for a Narcissist.
The Narcissist is affected, I believe because of their very fragile ego.
Depending on how prized one was as a Source of Narcissistic Supply, the Narcissist could sustain a “major” Narcissistic Injury from someone going No Contact. I had rescued one Somatic Narcissist. She tried to commit suicide after her high grade source of Narcissistic Supply went No Contact.
The following video shows the power of going No Contact. It is not about Narcissists. It is about an armed robber. The analogy is the same. The Narcissist comes to rob one of something important. The store robber comes to rob the owner of something important. For either robbery to work, the target must react in a specific manner. When the Target goes No Contact, the Robber’s mind becomes messed up with what is happening.
BTW I am in way recommending to ignore and turn your back on someone pointing a gun at you. The Store Owner in this video had a huge amount of Testicular Fortitude, to do what he did…
Video is courtesy of the BBC News YouTube channel
Lisa E Scott is an author and runs a website called Get Over a Narcissist.
Say that you were targeted by a Narcissist. You had learned about the Red Flags. Once you started watching for those Red Flags, they started showing up in droves, but only when you interacted with the Narcissist. The Narcissist’s Mask started to slip and more Red Flags showed up.
You were able to overcome their Psychological Manipulation. You got to see past the Love Bombing fake Persona. You got to see the Narcissist for what they really are.
You feel emotionally abused. You were lied to and taken advantage of by the Narcissist. It is only human nature to think about seeking revenge. Paying them back.
My suggestion is to stop thinking about getting revenge. You are “not” like them. You don’t hurt people. It is not worth your time and effort. Don’t fight with Narcissists, simply because you will not win.
The most powerful thing that you can do, is to Go No Contact. When you react, the Narcissist will feed off your emotion. When you do nothing, the tables are turned.
When you Go No Contact (or as Little as possible Contact), you trip up the Narcissist. They can’t feed off your emotions. They can no longer pull your strings and play you like their puppet. They need your attention. They need their fix of Narcissistic Supply. You going No Contact pulls the rug out from under the Narcissist. Going No Contact is very powerful and it works.
Lisa has a very good post on her site about wanting to get revenge against a Narcissist
Scroll down the article. About 1/2 way down there are four photos of a cute female. One photo is of a female in a white T-Shirt with Give Peace in large red letters (I suspect that was a John Lennon quote “Give Peace a chance”). In that area they are posting about what the shooter’s ex-wife said.
MAJOR Red Flag – his ex-Wife said that they met online and “within weeks” decided to get married. It takes months and sometimes years to get to know someone. Within weeks you really have no clue who or what you are going to marry IMHO.
His ex-Wife moved away to live with her new Husband. That to me is another Major Red Flag. She was being isolated, by being taken to another State far from any possible support from friends and family.
She apparently started to receive Beatings. That Physical Abuse apparently started within months of their wedding. Like I stated above, to decide to marry someone within weeks of meeting them, is plain asking for trouble. IMHO, one has no clue who or what they are going to marry within only a few weeks of the first meeting. Your mileage may differ.
His ex-Wife’s parents learned that she was being physically abused. They flew down to Florida and removed their daughter from where she and her husband were living. They left all her belongings and left. His ex-Wife went total No Contact. Divorce was handled by Lawyers. Her husband apparently tried to make contact. His ex-Wife maintained No Contact.
Major insight. No Contact did what it was supposed to do, in this case it protected the ex-Wife from potential future physical abuse and emotional harm.
His ex-Wife states in the article that she believes that her parents had literally saved her life.
Click on this line to read the Washington Post article about this event. That Washington Post article was referenced by the Mail Online article. It has bits of info, but the Mail Online article presents key insights.
I feel sorry about the loss of life from the Florida Shootings. But I think from the perspective of this website, this is a story within a story. The mail Online article to my mind only, proves how important Red Flags can be. The article also proves in my mind only, how important it is to go No Contact and especially where there was physical abuse, to stay No Contact.
His ex-Wife is lucky, that she had confided in her parents about the apparent Beatings she was receiving. That is another insight from this. One should inform family and friends when there is any kind of physical or emotional abuse. Friends and Family can help. Superb Parental Action to immediately fly down and take there daughter away.
Major Life lesson. Learn about the Red Flags and then watch for them.Seeing multiple Red Flags means something. Knowledge gives one the power to make better choices in life.
Going “Low Contact” to going “No Contact” is easy to write, but not so easy to do. Lisa Thomson‘s video offer some tips on the how and why of the process.
3 tips for going No Contact with the Narcissist
Video is courtesy of the Lisa Thomson YouTube channel
Lisa is also the author of helpful book. Click on this line to visit Amazon.com to learn more about her book Titled
The Great Escape: A Girl’s Guide To Leaving a Marriage
Posted to uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com
A rather good video to watch for those who are considering getting back together with their Narcissist.
Video is courtesy of the Angie Atkinson YouTube channel
Excellent points are made in this video, about what to do during your recovery After Narcissistic Abuse.
Video is courtesy of the Inner Integration YouTube channel
Video is courtesy of RavensNewLife YouTube channel
One of the hardest things about narcissistic abuse and going no contact, is getting to that point in time where we cross the line from WANTING the narcissist to love us & being devastated by the feelings that they don’t, along with everything that means to us and ACCEPTING that they are entirely and forever incapable of it.
Whether or not we loved ourselves before we met a narcissist, is irrelevant. The fact is, we were sold on the idea that a narcissist did love us in a grandiose narc fashion, then they went about the business of abusing us. In that abuse, they also relentlessly verbally berated us, insidiously blamed us over and over again, sending us the message that somehow the abuse was our fault and that we were not worthy of anything more.
By the time we wise up and decide to put them behind us, the…
View original post 2,220 more words
What is No Contact with a Narcissistic Abuser?
This is a really informative radio interview especially so for Victims in a Emotionally Abusive Relationship with someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder or other variant of Cluster-B Disorder.
Christine discusses various forms of “No Contact”. Sometimes absolute “No Contact” is very difficult to accomplish and she also discusses the fall back option of “Low Contact“.
Christine Louis de Canonville is an awesome highly regarded Health Care Professional, due to her extensive knowledge (Personal and Professional) and experience with helping others. She herself was once a victim and has much empathy for those stuck in abusive relationships with a Narcissist. She understands how and why Victims are trying to make sense of the insanity and illusions which are part of such a relationship.
If the audio player does not automatically start, then please click on the link displayed below:
Audio is courtesy of Mental Health News Radio on BlogTalkRadio and Christine Louis De Canonville