Category: Why domestic violence victims don’t leave

Narcissism Victim Syndrome, A New Diagnosis? Awesome article at Medical News Today

I really wish that I could repost this entire superb post about Narcissistic Abuse and the affect on their Victims. I’ll give a couple of excerpts, so you can get a taste of their article.

in the case of Jamie, whose husband makes her recite every day, “I’m only worth 29 cents – the price of a bullet,” he erodes her self-worth to nothing to keep her under his control. Who else could possible want such a worthless woman as she? With that belief, she will never leave him for good, although she makes many brief attempts to do so. She always returns. The brainwashing that continues day after day …

No matter which type of Narcissist he is, the end result is the same – a slow, insidious, breaking down of the self-esteem of his victims until there’s next to nothing left, at which point, the narcissist will frequently throw his partner out

Just click on the following line/link to visit the Medical News Website to read their extremely well written post titled: “

Narcissism Victim Syndrome, A New Diagnosis?”

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/10872.php

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Trauma Bonding explains why it is so hard to leave an Abusive Relationship

I find the Leyla Loric’s Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome YouTube channel to have a unique way of explaining that which is complex in their videos.

In the video below she outlines, in an easy to understand manner, how Trauma Bonding happens.

Video is courtesy of the Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome YouTube channel

The repeating of the connection and disconnection. The Push followed by the Pull. Richard Bandler‘s NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) sheds some light on this. Love Bombing and Trauma Bonding both create major bonds between the Narcissist Abuser and his/her Victim. I’ll try to post something about that at a later date.

Briefly, I believe (your mileage may differ) Love Bombing and Trauma Bonding covertly put the Victim into a Deep Trance State.

It is a sign of Major Mind Control, when a women gets kicked down a flight of stairs, yet will not leave such an abusive relationship. Why? Because the women will tell you that they are still “in Love” with the abuser. Actually they mention the person they met at the start of the Love Bombing phase. The Fake Persona they were fed.

In my opinion, (your mileage may differ) victims of major physical abuse are not in Love with their Abuser. They have been repeatedly Anchored to go into a Deep Hypnotic Trance State, where they have been programmed to experience a huge rapport with the Abuser.

The black eyes and broken bones hurt far less than having to exit that Deep Hypnotic Trance State. Not unlike a heavy drug addiction to say Heroin. It is only when Victims leave such abusive relationships and those anchors and triggers are no longer fired off, that they can see the reality about their Abuser.

When a Victim of Continued Domestic Physical and Emotional Abuse Commits Suicide, the Abuser can be charged with “Depraved Heart Murder”.

Click on this Link to visit The Huffington Post to read their article titled: “Man Charged With Murder For Allegedly Driving His Partner To Suicide.

Click on this link to learn more about depraved-heart murder, also known as depraved-indifference murder charges.

If you are being abused, you can get Compassionate and Confidential Support. In the U.S.A., call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). That is the number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

 

After they Isolate you, then they can start the Physical Abuse

Click on this Link to visit the Healthy Place website to read their post titled “Isolation and Domestic Abuse: How Abusers Isolate Victims“.

The most striking thing about Physical Abuse is that victims were first “Isolated”.They moved out of New York City to some small town. They moved to a remote cottage. They married and lived in another part of the country, away from the Victim’s family and Friends. The Victim was emotionally restrained from going away to visit with Friends and Family. The Victim’s Father was dying in the Hospital and yet the Abuser would not let the Victim leave to be with her Father.

Abusers cannot control a Victim from a distance. Abusers maintain their power and control over the Victim, by enforcing the Victim’s silence. If the Victim visits their family, they might speak of the horrors being done to the Victim. Once the abuse is out in the open, the Abuser starts to lose much of the power and control over their Victim.

The abuser will present tons of semi logical excuses for moving the Victim away from their Family and Friends. They will start a new life together…BS…more BS…some more BS….and even more BS.

When the Victim has no one else to help her, she becomes totally dependent on the Abuser. To make the situation worse, the Abuser may become the sole income earner. Rather hard to leave when you have no money.

Isolation is a Major Red Flag. If you do not allow yourself to become isolated, then you will not become dependent on your Lover and potential abuser. Note that the abuse does not start until the victim has been isolated.

Learn about the Red Flags displayed by Disordered Individuals. Then watch for them.

The more Red Flags that you spot, the more questions you should have of the individual displaying those Red Flags.

She loved him, even after he had held a loaded gun to her head

Your lover punches you in head. Your Lover pushes you down a flight of stairs. Your Lover threatens to kill your dog. Your Lover puts a gun loaded with Hollow Point Bullets to your head and threatens to pull the trigger.

How hard can it be to leave such a violent relationship? Extraordinarily DIFFICULT.

Just ask Leslie Morgan Steiner. She would not leave because she “Loved him”.

In my opinion she loved the false persona which she met at the very beginning of her relationship. That Brain Washed and Psychologically Manipulated her. The beginning of a relationship with a Disordered individuals is commonly called the Love Bombing phase.

It worked on Leslie. The following are her words about the man who did all those horrible things to her: “No one in my life had ever made me feel so safe, loved, beautiful and validated as he did during the early months of our relationship.“. Leslie was disconnected from reality. She dismissed the abuse and remained focused on the Prince Charming act she was given during the Love Bombing phase.That is the result of Trauma Bonding.

Click on this link to visit The Washington Post and read the article written by Leslie Morgan Steiner describing why she stayed in a horribly abusive relationship.

You can email Leslie Morgan Steiner at leslie@lesliemorgansteiner.com

Click on this link to visit the official Leslie Morgan Steiner website.

Click on this Link to visit the official Leslie Morgan Steiner Facebook page.

Click on this Link to visit Amazon.com to learn more about Leslie Morgan Steiner‘s book titled “Crazy Love”.

Why Abuse Victims stayed

When you watch this video, note the Red Flags (like Love Bombing and Isolating the Victim and making the Victim dependent on the Abuser) which appeared “prior” to the physical abuse starting.

This video features Leslie Morgan Steiner, Beverly Gooden, Kit Gruelle, Mildred Muhammad who were Victims of Physical Abuse. They address why they had stayed in the Abusive Relationship. Kudos to these Brave Women for sharing their stories.

Video is courtesy of the Markay Media YouTube channel

Learn about and then watch for the Red Flags displayed by Disordered Individuals. The more Red Flags displayed, the more questions you should be asking about the individual displaying those Red Flags.

Click on this Link to visit the Why We Stayed Twitter page.

Click on this line to visit the Kit Gruelle website.

Click on this line to visit the Mildred Muhammad website.

Click on this line to visit the Beverly Gooden website

Click on this line to visit the Leslie Morgan Steiner Facebook page

Why domestic violence victims don’t leave by Leslie Morgan Steiner

In this TED Talks presentation Leslie Morgan Steiner explains “Why domestic violence victims don’t leave”.

Leslie Morgan Steiner says that she was in “crazy love” — that is, madly in love with a man who routinely abused her and threatened her life.

The video is courtesy of the TED YouTube channel

The relationship started out, by the Abuser Love Bombing her. She called it to Seduce and Charm the victim. Her future Abuser Idolized her and she stated that that he “believed” in her. Note that she uses the term “Soul Mate”. Watch for those Red Flags, they may be extremely important to your future health and well being.

Next the victim is isolated. She was moved away from her friends and family.

About a week before she married her Abuser, he choked her and bashed her head into a wall. When the bruises on her neck cleared, she went ahead and married her Abuser.

She got the “I’m sorry” story and that it would never happen again. She did get Abused again, and on a regular basis.

Trauma Bonding, in my opinion, kept her in the relationship. Listen to the language which she uses to describe her Abuser.

There is something else which kept her in that Abusive Relationship. That was her “Silence” about it. I know that statement may not sit well with some readers. Listen carefully at the end of the video, where Leslie Morgan Steiner clearly states that the end of her Abuse started when she “started talking about it”.

She talked to the Police about it – very very important first step. She talked to the neighbors about it. She talked to all her friends and family about it. The key is that she “Talked About It“. She let people know that she was being Abused and people helped her. If someone does not know about your abuse, then they cannot help you. “Talking about her Abuse to others”, helped to break her bonds to the Abuser

Talking about your Abusive Relationship to “everyone” Is the Major Message of this video. No one deserves to be Abused. Abusers program those being Abused “Not to Tell“. When one stays quiet about being Abused, they are giving power over themselves to the Abuser. Abuse is about having power and control over someone. Abusers want those being abused, “to keep their mouths shut”. As soon as one tells others about being abused, their Abuser loses all of his or her power and control. Saying something about being Abused could help to set the Victim free.

Click on this Link to read a prior post about a female being turned into a Human Torch because she dared to leave a Disordered Individual. She was burned alive because the guy “didn’t accept being abandoned”.

Note also the major Red Flag indicated by the abuse that her Abuser had apparently received from his Step Father from the age of four. Major Trauma suffered by an infant and a young child is IMHO a Major Red Flag that such an individual could be a Disordered Adult.

Those Red Flags could be extremely important. Learn about them and then watch for them. The more Red Flags that show up, the more questions should be raised about the individual displaying those Red Flags

Click on this link to visit the official Leslie Morgan Steiner website.

Click on this Link to visit the official Leslie Morgan Steiner Facebook page.

Click on this Link to visit Amazon.com to learn more about Leslie Morgan Steiner‘s book titled “Crazy Love”.

Animals do not physically abuse one another, as some Disordered Humans will Physically Abuse the person that Loves them more than anyone else on the face of this Earth.

You do not know when someone is keeping silent about the Abuse they are receiving from their Life Partner.

I believe that if the Abused Victim starts telling people about what is being done to them, then people will try to help them. Speaking about the abuse is the first important step to becoming free of it. They need Help taking that first step. Not a put down. Their Abuser has programmed into their Mind to “Do not tell”.

I was amazed at how well Love Bombing worked, especially how deep into the mind of the Victim it went. I had never before considered Love Bombing to be another approach to Mind Control and Mind Programming. The females who were being physically abused, focused on the person that they met during the Love Bombing phase. That was who they lived with, an Imaginary Persona. That is major Psychological Manipulation, yet it was accomplished easily and without stealth.

The battered and abused women were “very highly educated” and high income earners. Yet the educational system failed them, by not informing them of the Red Flags given off by Disordered individuals. They were Love Bombed and had no clue what was happening. They were then isolated from friends and family and had no clue what was being done to them. Major Red Flags, which they knew nothing about. Once you are committed to a relationship and the Abuse starts, it’s too late to be looking for Red Flags. You’ll be too busy looking at the red welts and bruises all over your body.

They could not mentally connect the person physically abusing them, with the imaginary person that they were exposed to at the very beginning of the relationship. The Abuser is able to establish a disconnect with reality. That is the result of Trauma Bonding. Victims feel the Abuser punching them in the head, but dismiss it and focus on that he was such a Prince Charming when we met.

The next few days after the physical abuse, the Abuser may pretend to be remorseful and state that it will never happen again. This cycle of dreadful physical violence followed by BS acts of Love and Kindness, messes up the Brain Chemistry of the Victim and establishes Trauma Bonding.  Some victims are made to think that they were at fault and deserved to have been beaten by the Abuser.

Animals do not physically abuse one another, as some Disordered Humans will physically abuse the person that Loves them more than anyone else on the face of this Earth. That Physical Abuse will be repeated and repeated without an end it site (up to the death of the Victim).

What an incredibly Horrible way for the Victims of Domestic Violence to live. Little did that beautiful newborn baby know what crap life had in store for it, when it grew up to be an adult…

Learn about the Red Flags. Watch for them and hopefully you might not end up being a victim of ongoing Domestic Violence and Abuse…