Category: Why Love Bombing works on Codependents

Breaking the Codependency Myth: The Power of the Trauma Bond — Self-Care Haven by Shahida Arabi

Breaking the Codependency Myth: The Power of The Trauma Bond by Shahida Arabi “Free” by Alice Popkorn via Flickr. Creative Commons License. Ever had a victim-blamer claim you were “codependent”? That you in some way deserved the abuse, or that it was your fault? Let them know: codependency was a term historically used to describe […]

via Breaking the Codependency Myth: The Power of the Trauma Bond — Self-Care Haven by Shahida Arabi

Copyright Shahida Arabi. Our thanks go out to Shahida Arabi for allowing this to be shared here.

 

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Codependence – Patterns and Characteristics

CoDA.org holds meetings similar to Alcoholics Anonymous. Those with Codependent tendencies can meet, share and talk.

Codependence stems from not receiving the Love, Care, Attention and Confirmation and Praise which “you deserved” when you were a child. The child’s sense of self is not allowed to develop. Codependence, is in my opinion, a survival mechanism developed by the child and carried over into adulthood.

There are people, such a Narcissists , who will search for and pick up on someone’s Codependent tendencies. Narcissists are well versed in Psychological Manipulation Techniques to reel in their Codependent targets. Codependents are easily duped by the Narcissist’s Love Bombing. The Narcissist’s Love Bombing provides the Codependent Target, that which the Target had never received from their parents, when they were a child. Unfortunately the Love Bombing was never something real. It was just another Psychological Manipulation and Control Technique used by disordered individuals such as Narcissists.

A Licensed Therapist can help one to figure out the Triggers of Codependent Tendencies. Realizing the Self Doubt and Self Sabotage and negative Self Talk is the first step towards healing. Healing opens the door to finding a Healthy relationship and could also help to limit you being targeted by Disordered Individuals such as Narcissists.

The Codependents anonymous meetings held, by CoDA.org, in your local area could be helpful tool on your road to recovery. Speak to your Therapist about CoDA.org. Also find out if your licensed Therapist holds Group Therapy sessions. You are not alone. Sadly many have had parents who were clueless about proper parenting and helping their children grow and develop their Self Worth and Self Esteem. It is my opinion that Codependence is created by abysmal parenting.

Click on the link below to view the CoDA.org document titled: Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence.

http://coda.org/index.cfm/meeting-materials1/patterns-and-characteristics-2011/

Alan Robarge, Psychotherapist, discusses the link between Attachment Injuries and Codependency

Attachment Injuries during childhood are directly linked to adult Codependency.

You need to give yourself that which you never received when you were a child.

Your Narcissistic Partner will never be the Corrective Experience for that Attachment Injury.

Quite the contrary, the Narcissist was attracted to you because of your Codependency which made it very easy for them to Use and Manipulate you.

You need a healthy relationship, where your partner can show you that they care about and love you and that “you matter” to them.

Narcissists lack empathy and so are unable to care about or love others.

To a narcissist your only value is in you being a source of Narcissistic Supply, which can and usually will be replaced with a better source of Narcissistic Supply. Narcissists are always “hunting” for new and better sources of Narcissistic Supply.

Video is courtesy of the Alan Robarge YouTube channel.

Your Biggest Codependency Questions Answered

Starting with answering the question “What is Codependency?“, this video gives insights into becoming self aware of the “triggers” of your Codependent Behaviour.

Becoming aware of your Codependent Behaviour,
is the first major step to changing said behaviour.

Video is courtesy of the Brian Pisor YouTube channel

Red Flags of Codependency. Being prone to Love Bombing is Red Flag #1 of Codependents

Narcissists use Love Bombing to reel in their prey. Codependents tend to be very prone to be taken in by Love Bombing techniques.

The video starts off with a description of what Love Bombing looks like.

Very well presented Red Flag from the point of view of the Codependent Target/Victim. Her analogy of an empty bucket is food for thought.

Video is courtesy of the Thrive After Abuse YouTube channel