Charisma. What makes a person magnetic and why we should be wary.

 

This post is about Red Flags to watch out for.

Click on this link to visit the Natilus website to read the post by Adam Piore titled: “The Anatomy of Charisma. What makes a person magnetic and why we should be wary.”

Click on this link to visit the Natilus website to read another post b y Adam Piore titled: “Why Joel Osteen, “The Smiling Preacher,” Is So Darn Appealing“.

 

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I Almost Married a Con Man by Abby Ellin

 

Abby Ellin wrote a perfect intro to her article as follows:

My ex-fiancé helped orchestrate the raid on Osama bin Laden. He received a Purple Heart for his military service and a medal of honor from Golda Meir. He thwarted a bioterrorism attack in New York City and saved the grandson of one of the world’s wealthiest men from an attempted kidnapping. None of it was public. He didn’t write a book about his escapades or sell his story to Hollywood. His goal wasn’t to become rich and famous but to keep his children—and all of America—safe from the “bad guys.” “I’m not going to sit by while people are in danger,” he’d often say as he packed his bags for a secret mission.

It was wonderfully noble, except for one minor detail: None of it was true.

Click on this link to visit the Marie Claire Website to read the post by Abby Ellin titled “I Almost Married a Con Man“.

 

Gaslighting Basics: From A – Z. Interview with Ross Rosenberg

 

In this interview Ross Rosenberg details Gaslighting Basics.

Gaslighting is a major Red Flag displayed by Narcissists.

Video is courtesy of the Ross Rosenberg YouTube Channel

Click on this link to visit the Ross Rosenberg Facebook page.

 

You Attracted that Narcissist. Stephanie Lyn explains why.

Stephanie Lyn explains the Narcissist and Codependent dance. That abusive Narcissist was attracted to you, because you are always willing to give of yourself to help others.

Sadly, Narcissistic Predators are constantly on the lookout for people who willingly give of themselves.

Video is courtesy of the Stephanie Lyn Coaching YouTube Channel

At one time, I had gotten a job because I had brought the Narcissist (who did the hiring interview) detailed info about a new Ransomware spreading across the Internet. Much much later after getting hired, I was informed by the Narcissist that they felt it be very important when people bring them things. In other words that Narcissist saw that I was willing to give and Narcissists are always looking for individuals that they can feed off.

That Narcissist was classic, I would watch him mirror people – at times changing his physical position dramatically to match the person they were trying to Mirror. It was fascinating and over time became very predictable behavior. My eyes were opened when I had stumbled across an article about the Red Flags displayed by Narcissists.

Click on this link to view the articles on Uniquely Narcissistic which are about the Red Flags displayed by Narcissists.

 

7 mind games commonly played by a narcissist, and ways to stay clear of them.

How to Spot the Difference between a Narcissist, a Psychopath, and a Sociopath.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, psychologist and author,  discusses the differences between Psychopaths, Sociopaths and Narcissists.

Video is courtesy of the MedCircle YouTube Channel.

Click on this line to visit Amazon.com to see the book “Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist” which Dr. Ramani Durvasula  has authored.

Do you think he’ll mistreat me the same way he’ s mistreated every woman he dated before me ?

Met on Facebook and were married 10 months later. Then the control and isolation started. It ended with Jodie Bywater being severely beaten by her husband.

Red Flags are mentioned on this site very often. They are important signs which can help one learn that they are in a relationship with a Disordered Individual.

Jodie met Chris on Facebook.  Jodie mentioned that Chris was “very charming”. Disordered individuals can be extremely charming. Within 10 months they were married. Disordered individuals are well versed in Love Bombing.

Click on this link to visit the Psychology Today website to read their post titled:
Love Bombing: A Narcissist’s Secret Weapon”.

Within months of the marriage, her husband started to control Jodie. Major Red Flag.

Jodie was also systematically isolated from her friends and family. He made sure that he had cut her off her from any possible support. Major Red Flag.

Video courtesy of the From Surviving To Thriving!! YouTube channel

Only he had access to the bank account. Another Major Red Flag.

The physical abuse then heraled the post Love Bombing phase. He now had total control of Jodie. It started with him spitting at her face. NOT a wonderful sign of affection between and husband and his wife.

It is hard to admit that one made a mistake of getting into a relationship with a disordered individual. Seek Help by visiting your local Law Enforcement agency. There are support lines which can provide guidance. Spitting in her face was nothing compared to what he did to her later. She became his punching bag.

When she was pregnant with his child, he physically attacked and punched the hell out of her.

Please click on this link to visit THE SUN‘s website to read their exclusive article about what happened to Jodie Bywater.

I hope that something like this will never happen to you !!!

See how many Red Flags you can spot. This is a horrific story. It opens our eyes to the fact that Disordered Individuals are out there. Watch for those Red Flags.

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Dr. Craig Malkin, a lecturer at Harvard Medical School, discusses Dangerous Narcissism

Dr. Craig Malkin is an Expert on Narcissism. He is also an Expert in the treatment of Trauma and PTSD. He lectures at Harvard Meedical School.
In this video Dr. Craig Malkin discusses the Major Red Flags to watch for. He uses the term Dangerous Narcissism which helps to calrify the Narcissism Spectrum Scale
of Narcissistic Traits displayed by individuals.

Video is ourtesy of the Dr. Craig Malkin YouTube channel
Narcissism occurs on a scale. You could have a really nice caring inidividual displaying a Narcissist trait once in a while. That is not abnormal Narcissism.
The range then goes to the other end ene dof the scale, where you find Dangerous Malignant Narcissists and in my opion just a bit further down you find Psychopaths.
As you go down the scale towards Malignant Naracissim you find that the Narcissist is in a state of denial that they are doing anything wrong. They will justify ongoing verbal, emotional and physical abuse and put the blame squarely on the Victim. The Denial of wrong doing while abusing another Human Being is a major Red Flag and Danger Sign.

Video is ourtesy of the Dr. Craig Malkin YouTube channel
Another comon Red Falsg is that the Danergous Narcisist will try to isolate the Victim from friends and  family. By removing outside support, the Narcisist hopes to gain total control over the Victim. They can convince their Victim to move to a difffetrent city or a different country where the Vistim will not know anyone and will not know where to seek out help.
As one woman was was doused with gasoline and then lit on fire had stated from her Hospital Bed “Verbal Abuse is the beinnning of further Physical Abuse”. The Narcissist stood and watched that lady burn and did nothing to help her. I court he stated that it was just an accident and that he was not to blame.
In a relationship, if you have become isolated from Friends and Family and have started to bear the brunt of Verbal and Emotional Abuse, please seek help. Visit the Police. Visit the local Hospital. Visit your local library as they will have free Internet access and where you can use Gioogle Search to find out who to call for help. I suggest using the free Libray computers as the Dangerous Narcissist could have added a Keylogger on the home computers to see what your are doing online.
The denial by the Dangerous Narcissist that they are doing anything wrong is a Major Red Flag. Malignanat Dangerous Narcisism is also not that far on ths scale from Psychopaths. Dangeroous Narcissist can display traits of Psychopathy. If this is being seen in a realtionship then the Victim needs to to seek out Help and Support and NOT tell the Dangerous Narcissist they are are seeking Help and Support. If the Narcissist finds out, then they can flip into a Narcissist Rage and cause major physical damage to the Victim. Please be extremely careful until you are out of harms way.

Chatting with Dr. Ramani Durvasula Ph.D, an Expert on Narcisissism


Dr. Ramani Durvasula Ph.D, an Expert on Narcisissism, authored the book titled “Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Narcissistic Relationship“.

Video courtesy of the LAHWF YouTube Channel

Dr. Ramani Durvasula repeatedly mentions that Narcissists are made. I fully agree. Due to trauma during their early years, a Narcissist’s brain becoming hard wired differently. Brian scans confirm this. Once the “damaged” child grows up, you cannot change the way that their brain works.

Therapy cannot “fix” Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Click on the following link to visit Oprah.com where there is a Quiz by Dr. Ramani Durvasula titled “Is Your Partner a Narcissist?”.

The New Yorker article titled: “Four Women Accuse New York’s Attorney General of Physical Abuse”

Please read The New Yorker article linked to below.

Click on this link to visit The New Yorker website to read their article titled “Four Women Accuse New York’s Attorney General of Physical Abuse.

 

 

Always watch for any Red Flags when in a relationship.

Be on the lookout for the consistent use of Mirroring.

Going No Contact can protect you,

but it is not easy to do.

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Woman was driven to suicide by her boyfriend. He was found guilty and jailed for four years for coercive behaviour and ‘gaslighting’ in landmark case.

Stephen Gane was found guilty and jailed for four years for coercive behaviour and ‘Gaslighting‘ in landmark case. He drove Kellie Sutton to hang herself, only five month after beginning a relationship with her.

Kellie was a Mother of 3 children. She had been single for a couple of years before she was targeted by Stephen Gane.

Her grieving family read the following in court:Kellie was a daughter, a sister, a niece, a granddaughter, a great grand daughter and a mother. She was caring, funny, affectionate, bubbly and kind. She was a loyal friend – the kind of person who would go out of their way to help others. She could not bear to see anyone suffering and would put herself out to help anyone. She didn’t have a bad bone in her body.

From this we can see that Kellie was an Empath. Disordered Individuals can spot an Empath from a mile away. Within weeks of meeting her, Steven moved into “her house”.

Kellie’s friend had this to say I told her to stay away from him because he seemed controlling.”. She disliked Stephen and you can be sure Stephen made sure that Kellie was kept away from her friends.

Stephen Gane denied hurting Kellie.  He said they loved each other but their relationship was sometimes ‘volatile’. Disordered Individuals will never admit to doing anything wrong.

He was found guilty of actual bodily harm and one charge of assault by beating. One must assume that splitting her head open, was his way of showing his Love and Affection.

Judge Philip Grey told Stephen Gane: “Kellie was a much loved young woman who had the great misfortune of meeting you.”

“You treated her as a meal ticket. You beat her and ground her down and broke her spirit.”

You’ve shown no evidence of sadness or regret and your behaviour clearly drove Kellie to hang herself that morning.”

 

Disordered Individual will target someone (like you) to “USE” you. Note that Stephen Mane showed “No evidence of sadness or regret. Disordered Individual could care less about others. They do not care how much pain and sorrow they create for others, as long they get what they WANT.

There are MILLIONS of Disordered Individuals, like Staphen Gane, out there. Please watch for the Red Flags. Please listen to your friends, who may spot odd behaviour which signal danger to them.

The only positive thing which will come from the death of this young woman is that she gave her life to spare her children untold horrors which were waiting for them. Imagine having someone like Stephen Gane being the father figure to her three kids? He would have destroyed those kids. Over the 5 months that he lived in Kellie’s house, I’m sure that her kids were tramatized. I hope that they can receive Psychiatric help to help get over the loss of their Mother and over the Traumas caused by Stephen Gane.

The most horrible thought is that he will get out of jail and will seek a new victim. Disordered Individuals cannot be fixed. Their brains are hard wired differently.

A relationship to a Disordered Individual, such as a Narcissist, is all about them gaining Control over their Target.

You will note one Major Red Flag and Danger Sign mentioned in this video. The Target/Victim became ISOLATED from Friends and Family. A Disordered Individual will work to isolate the Target. That allows greater control of the Target. As you become more and more Isolated, you will become much more vulnerable. Kellie Sutton became isolated and her only option to escape was Suicide.

Click on this link to read the Daily Mail article titled “Mother’s heartbreak after daughter was driven to suicide by her former soldier boyfriend as he is jailed for four years for coercive behaviour and ‘gaslighting’ in landmark case“.

Click on this link to visit the Hertfordshire Police website to read their post titled: “Man who physically and mentally abused his girlfriend is jailed.”

Click on this link to visit The Sun website and read their article titled:” ‘HE IS PURE EVIL’ Mother’s anguish over daughter who was driven to suicide by her boyfriend

Why going No Contact With a Narcissist, Always Benefits you the Target

Video is courtesy of the Sun Lion YouTube channel

 

Judy Malinowski was set on fire by ex-boyfriend

I Never knew that a Human Being could be so evil“. He had doused her with gasoline and set her on fire. Then he stood there and did nothing.

 

Judy Malinowski left a message for others: “Verbal abuse is the start of physical abuse“.

 

Take a good look at Judy, in the video below. Just think, it could be you in that Hospital Bed fighting for your life. Watch for any Red Flags. Going NO Contact may protect you. There are Disordered individuals out there, who will set you on fire and stand there and just watch you suffer and burn. Such persons have no Empathy for the pain and suffering of others. Is that the type of person one would want to have a relationship with?

 

Video is courtesy of the NBC4 WCMH-TV Columbus YouTube Channel

 

PLEASE be CAREFUL,
who you let into your life
.

Watch for the Red Flags
of Disordered Individuals.

Insights into Narcissistic Love Bombing

Good insights into the Narcissistic Love Bombing. The one key to remember is that Narcissists “know what they are doing”.

Love Bombing shuts down your internal “Alarm System”, which could warn you that there is something very wrong with what is happening.

Video is courtesy of the Inner Integration YouTube channel

Infant and Childhood Trauma help to create Narcissists and Psychopaths

This video is courtesy of the Cultura Colectiva Facebook page.

IMHO Infant and Childhood Trauma change the way the Brains of Narcissits and Psychopaths end up becoming hard wired. Brain scans have confirmed that their Brains are wired differently.

The video below provides some insight into the Infant Trauma caused when a baby starts crying, but does not get any help or attention. When such Trauma occurs over and over, that infant’s brain gets wired differently. When that infant becomes an adult, that adult will behave differently. Rather insightful video.

Please click on the link below. It will open a new Browser window and display the video. For some reason I have never been able to get Facebook videos to work like the videos on YouTube always do.

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fculturacolectivaplus%2Fvideos%2F2077317248952394%2F&show_text=0&width=476

Warning Signs and Red Flags that he is a Narcissist

Derrick Jaxn describes the Warning Signs and Red Flags which you will encounter, when in a relationship with a Narcissist. Always watch for such Red Flags.

If the Warning Signs are persisistent, you may want to seriously consider Going No Contact. Staying with a Narcissist will allow the Narcissist to continue to attack and destroy YOU and if given the opportunity, they will.

Video is courtesy of the Derrick Jaxn YouTube channel