Tagged: Abusive Relationship

Woman was driven to suicide by her boyfriend. He was found guilty and jailed for four years for coercive behaviour and ‘gaslighting’ in landmark case.

Stephen Gane was found guilty and jailed for four years for coercive behaviour and ‘Gaslighting‘ in landmark case. He drove Kellie Sutton to hang herself, only five month after beginning a relationship with her.

Kellie was a Mother of 3 children. She had been single for a couple of years before she was targeted by Stephen Gane.

Her grieving family read the following in court:Kellie was a daughter, a sister, a niece, a granddaughter, a great grand daughter and a mother. She was caring, funny, affectionate, bubbly and kind. She was a loyal friend – the kind of person who would go out of their way to help others. She could not bear to see anyone suffering and would put herself out to help anyone. She didn’t have a bad bone in her body.

From this we can see that Kellie was an Empath. Disordered Individuals can spot an Empath from a mile away. Within weeks of meeting her Steven moved into “her house”.

Kellie’s friend had this to say I told her to stay away from him because he seemed controlling.”. She disliked Stephen and you can be sure Stephen made sure that Kellie was kept away from her friends.

Stephen Gane denied hurting Kellie.  He said they loved each other but their relationship was sometimes ‘volatile’. Disordered Individuals will never admit to doing anything wrong.

He was found guilty of actual bodily harm and one charge of assault by beating. One must assume that splitting her head open, was his way of showing his Love and Affection.

Judge Philip Grey told Stephen Gane: “Kellie was a much loved young woman who had the great misfortune of meeting you.”

“You treated her as a meal ticket. You beat her and ground her down and broke her spirit.”

You’ve shown no evidence of sadness or regret and your behaviour clearly drove Kellie to hang herself that morning.”

 

Disordered Individual will target someone (like you) to “USE” you. Note that Stephen Mane showed “No evidence of sadness or regret. Disordered Individual could care less about others. They do not care how much pain and sorrow they create for others, as long they get what they WANT.

There are MILLIONS of Disordered Individuals, like Staphen Gane, out there. Please watch for the Red Flags. Please listen to your friends, who may spot odd behaviour which signal danger to them.

The only positive thing which will come from the death of this young woman is that she gave her life to spare her children untold horrors which were waiting for them. Imagine having someone like Stephen Gane being the father figure to her three kids? He would have destroyed those kids. Over the 5 months that he lived in Kellie’s house, I’m sure that her kids were tramatized. I hope that they can receive Psychiatric help to help get over the loss of their Mother and over the Traumas caused by Stephen Gane.

The most horrible thought is that he will get out of jail and will seek a new victim. Disordered Individuals cannot be fixed. Their brains are hard wired differently.

A relationship to a Disordered Individual, such as a Narcissist, is all about them gaining Control over their Target.

Video is courtesy of Breaking News Today YouTube channel

You will note one Major Red Flag and Danger Sign mentioned in this video. The Target/Victim became ISOLATED from Friends and Family. A Disordered Individual will work to isolate the Target. That allows greater control of the Target. As you become more and more Isolated, you will become much more vulnerable. Kellie Sutton became isolated and her only option to escape was Suicide.

Click on this link to read the Daily Mail article titled “Mother’s heartbreak after daughter was driven to suicide by her former soldier boyfriend as he is jailed for four years for coercive behaviour and ‘gaslighting’ in landmark case“.

Click on this link to visit the Hertfordshire Police website to read their post titled: “Man who physically and mentally abused his girlfriend is jailed.”

Click on this link to visit The Sun website and read their article titled:” ‘HE IS PURE EVIL’ Mother’s anguish over daughter who was driven to suicide by her boyfriend

Advertisements

Transcending addiction and redefining recovery by Jacki Hillios

Phoenix Multisport’s Director of Research and Evaluation, Jacki Hillios, PhD, discusses the importance of connecting with others and being with others to help one to overcome any Addiction which they are suffering from. Jacki Hillios ideas go well with the results of the Rat Park Experiment.

This video and Rat Park videos in my opinion apply to those human beings who have suffered by being in Mentally and or Physically abusive relationships. In my opinion,  they may have developed an “Addiction” to their Abuser. As with other forms, Addiction is very hard to overcome especially when the Victim of Abuse is all alone with no money and no support system. They are unable to leave their Abuser. Some call it Trauma Bonding and Stockholm Syndrome.

The key part of the approach mentioned by Jacki is to keep the Addicts involved doing things with other humans (whether the others are Addicts or not). The connections that they build stop the need to replace the lack of connection with a drug. Highly Addicted Rats became un-addicted when they were placed in a Rat Park Environment. They connected with others of their own kind. They had things to do together. Exactly the same core things which Jacki Hillios mentioned in her TEDx Talk.

Moving to a different city or country, the Victims in Abusive Relationships leave behind friends, family and even co-workers. They become isolated. The Abuser will instill the fear to not mention the abuse to others. They have no one to talk to. They have no one who cares enough to help them. They are alone and so could become  stuck and unable to leave their abuser.

Video is courtesy of the TEDX Talks YouTube channel

There is a reason why they Love Bomb you with their Fake Persona. Psychological Manipulation Techniques work.

Quote "He pushed her down a flight of stairs. He held a loaded gun to her head. Leslie Morgan Steiner would not leave that abusive relationship because: "No one in my life had ever made me feel so safe, loved, beautiful and validated as her did during the early months of our relationship". There is a reason why they Love Bomb you with their Fake Persona. Psychological Manipulations Techniques work." by uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

QUOTE: “He pushed her down a flight of stairs. He held a loaded gun to her head. Leslie Morgan Steiner would not leave that abusive relationship because:
“No one in my life had ever made me feel so safe, loved, beautiful and validated as he did during the early months of our relationship”. There is a reason why they Love Bomb you with their Fake Persona. Psychological Manipulation Techniques work.

This Quote pic was inspired by an article which Leslie Morgan Steiner had written in The Washington Post. We had featured that article in a prior post on this site. Click on this link to visit The Washington Post site to read the article which was titled “He held a gun to my head. I loved him..

The use of the quote by Leslie Morgan Steiner I believe falls under the Fair Use Provision of Copyright. I make no claims regarding the copyright of said quote.

Save

While having a home security system installed, woman finds her ex under her bed

The woman dated the man for about two years. She ended the relationship after she learned about her lover’s lengthy Criminal Record. Ask yourself,  what kind of person would hide another life, from someone they were in a long term relationship with?

When their relationship was ended by the female, the male (as per the article and apparently per Police Documents) had informed her that was going to kill her. This is someone this women spent two years with.

Some people do not like being abandoned. What kind of person might that be?

It is a sad read, but just might provide some insights.

Click on this link to visit The Washington Post website to read the article.

Watch for those Red Flags…

Domestic abuse survivor speaks out to help victims

Police wearing body cameras capture the result of a horrific beating a woman had received. Because of the body camera video, the husband who beat his wife was charged and convicted and is now serving a 10 year jail sentence.

Yes he is in jail, but has justice been served? He gets free Room and Board for 10 years, with 3 meals a day cooked for him. Just look at the woman’s face in the screen capture pic. She had been getting this kind of abuse for 10 years. Absolutely sickening.

Is the photo below showing you, your future?photo of a female victim of domestic abuse with both eyes blackedPhoto of Gale Marmoy is a screen capture (which we made) from the Police video

Her husband had apparently been beating this woman for about a decade before being convicted. Clear example of Trauma Bonding or Stockholm Syndrome on the part of the victim.

If you are presently in an abusive relationship, then seek out the Police and your Health Care Professionals to help you to get out of that abusive relationship before it “Kills You“.

Abuse is real. Being abused is not the fault of the victim. Trauma Bonding is very real, but those bonds can be broken with the help of your Medical Professionals.

No one deserves to be abused.

Watch the video to see how cool he was when the Police arrived at his door after he beat his wife. IMHO he displayed Psychopathic traits. It was bizarre how he calmly asked his wife (whom he called Dawn) if she wanted to speak to the Police. It was as if nothing had happened to give a reason for the Police to have shown up. As if he had done nothing wrong.  If the Police had not come, he was not going to call his wife an ambulance or take her to the hospital.

What kind of person could be so Heartless and lacking in Empathy, to behave in this manner? Well lets see, a Malignant Narcissist in a rage and of course a Psychopath could do extreme damage to someone in the blink of an eye. Afterwards they could even blame the victim. Such disordered individuals lack Empathy for the suffering of others.

It boggles my mind how someone could do something like this, yet sadly it happens all too often.

Video is courtesy of the OfficialHantsPolice YouTube channel

Click on this line to read a news article about the events discussed in the video above.

Special Thanks go out to Christine Louis De Canonville who’s Google Plus page spoke about this event.

Quotes from Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

Quotes from the hearts of those who have been and sadly done that.

The post on the ladywithatruck.com could help abuse survivors realize that they were not alone. Others have gone through similar trials and tribulations, with their own Narcissists.

Some excerpts from the ladywithatruck.com post are as follows:

“My biggest frustration and source of anger, is at those who have refused to take a stand when they saw the abuse perpetrated by my N ex-husband. No matter how outrageous his behavior others often stood by and inadvertently fueled his denial”

“Now he is getting in touch again and I don’t know why (he loves me, more use out of me, to hurt me – but why??) and I am a wreck. He knows my buttons and he pushed them with finesses. I still feel the pull and though I consciously know he’s an asshole (sorry) and I am disgusted and furious,”

“Charming, seducing, angelic…..and lying, betraying, manipulating; these people carve a swath of misery in their wake. They damage the lives of almost everyone they encounter. And yet, we think it’s our fault that we tolerated their abuse”

“Men or women CANNOT express this confusing world to anybody who hasn’t been there. It is HELL on earth. And so is the recovery process.”

It is really sad reading of the misery which a Narcissistic Abuser can cause. I believe that there are two benefits from such quotes from Survivors.

First of all the Survivor benefits by putting in writing (so to speak) what they feel inside. In a way it is like talking about it to a friend. Getting it out, can help in the healing process.

Secondly the readers benefit. Survivors can confirm that others had gone through similar situations. They may no longer feel isolated. Some may feel ashamed that they had been used and abused. Anyone can be fooled by an expert in emotional manipulation techniques. You are not weak or gullible. Actually your kind heart makes you an amazing Human Being. Unfortunately, it also attracts Narcissists.

If you haven’t already, click on this line to visit the post on the ladywithatruck.com website titled “Quotes From Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse – QUOTES FROM SOME VICTIMS

It is not only the quotes which can be insightful. Scroll down that posting to view the comments section.

Narcissistic Father shows his love by repeatedly telling his young daughter “You’re a stupid Bitch”.

She is over 40 years and still suffers from the repeated Abuses and Traumas caused by her Narcissistic Father. She uses the description “Nerve Shredded Adult“. She states that it’s something that is still inside her.

Being in a relationship with an Abusive Narcissist (ie with someone not related to you) when one is an adult is painful, but given enough strength an adult can leave such an abusive relationship. A child with an Abusive Narcissistic Parent does not have such an option. Abusive Narcissistic Parenting creates the Trauma which keeps inflicting pain, long after the abuse is over…

Narcissistic Father shows his love for his young daughter by repeatedly telling her “You’re a stupid Bitch”

Video is courtesy of the Happy Girl YouTube channel

After Narcissistic Abuse, things to do so you can move forward

Excellent points are made in this video, about what to do during your recovery After Narcissistic Abuse.

Video is courtesy of the Inner Integration YouTube channel

“Lack of Object Constancy” is a Narcissistic Trait and Red Flag to watch for

This video discusses “Lack of Object Constancy” which is another Trait and Red Flag of a Narcissist to watch for.

Video is courtesy of the Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome YouTube channel

Click on this line to visit the Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome Facebook page.

The video below is posted by someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. She discusses a therapy session about Lack of Object Constancy. What she mentions, also applies to Narcissists. Note that she is actively seeking treatment via Therapy Sessions, which is something a Narcissist would rarely (if ever) do.

Video is courtesy of The Borderline Life YouTube channel

Click on this line to visit the Out of The Fog website to read their post titled : Lack of Object Constancy.

 

Posted to uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Why Victims do not leave an abusive relationship. Narcissistic Abuse and Trauma Bonding and the Stockholm Syndrome

Victims of Narcissistic Abuse remain in abusive relationships. Victims of Narcissists, will often defend the Narcissist.

Trauma Bonding happens. It is also referred to as the Stockholm Syndrome. This informative video goes into more detail about Trauma Bonding and the Stockholm Syndrome.

Video is courtesy of the familytreecounseling YouTube channel

Craig Malkin Ph.D. discusses “Why Do People Stay in Abusive Relationships? The answer is more complicated than you think.”