Tagged: Codependency

Alan Robarge, Psychotherapist, discusses the link between Attachment Injuries and Codependency

Attachment Injuries during childhood are directly linked to adult Codependency.

You need to give yourself that which you never received when you were a child.

Your Narcissistic Partner will never be the Corrective Experience for that Attachment Injury.

Quite the contrary, the Narcissist was attracted to you because of your Codependency which made it very easy for them to Use and Manipulate you.

You need a healthy relationship, where your partner can show you that they care about and love you and that “you matter” to them.

Narcissists lack empathy and so are unable to care about or love others.

To a narcissist your only value is in you being a source of Narcissistic Supply, which can and usually will be replaced with a better source of Narcissistic Supply. Narcissists are always “hunting” for new and better sources of Narcissistic Supply.

Video is courtesy of the Alan Robarge YouTube channel.

In our society having lots of Empathy for others, showing kindness and readily helping others is deemed to be a weakness

Do you tend to have codependent tendencies? Do you automatically try and help people?

Having lots of Empathy for others and wanting to help others is a good thing. It’s also one Red Flag of Codependency. The problem is that Disordered Individuals look for such people and when they find them they will try and use them. It’s not only the Narcissists who will take advantage of the kindness of others.

The author of the article makes an important point, that in our society having lots of Empathy for others, showing kindness and readily helping others is deemed to be a weakness. Personally I disagree, IMHO it is a sign of a highly evolved individual (soul) and the world would be a far better place if it was filled with such kind hearted and loving individuals. Sadly that is not the case. There are far far more Disordered Individuals and just plain assholes to contend with.

Click on this line to read the article posted on iheartintelligence.com titled

Surrounded by Jerks: One Cause of Depression that No One Talks About.

The following is a quote from that post By :

Expectations lead to Dissapointment
As a nice person, typically we expect the same kindness that we give to others to be returned. Unfortunately, that is so rarely the case that it’s hard not to just completely lose faith in humanity. There are people out there that make a life of feeding off of the kindness of others. There are people in our own lives that keep us around simply because they know that they can depend on our kindness when they need it. It truly is disappointing. It’s disappointing that people use us like that.

Codependence, Independence and Interdependence – Part 2 by Pam Gawler-Wright

How some pennies can drop Sometimes I describe a certain scene to a person, couple or family I am working with and I can almost hear the pennies drop as it offers them a way to understand the hurt …

Source: Codependence, Independence and Interdependence – Part 2

This post is courtesy of Pam Gawler-Wright’s WordPress site.

Red Flags of Codependency. Being prone to Love Bombing is Red Flag #1 of Codependents

Narcissists use Love Bombing to reel in their prey. Codependents tend to be very prone to be taken in by Love Bombing techniques.

The video starts off with a description of what Love Bombing looks like.

Very well presented Red Flag from the point of view of the Codependent Target/Victim. Her analogy of an empty bucket is food for thought.

Video is courtesy of the Thrive After Abuse YouTube channel