Tagged: How to spot a Narcissist

Red Flags: How to Identify a Psychopathic Bond

The most important self-defense against psychopathic seducers consists of recognizing the initial warning signals so that you can escape the relationship early on, hopefully before you’re seriously…

Source: Red Flags: How to Identify a Psychopathic Bond

This post is courtesy of psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com. Please visit their extremely informative site by clicking on this line.

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Why this site was setup and who had inspired me to do so

Surprise, this site have been up for 6 months.

Who inspired me to start this site?

You see last year I learned a few things, which triggered the creation of this site.

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One evening, I was enjoying a few beers and the company of a lovely lady and kind soul. She shared some things from her past. I was taken aback. I had crossed paths with Narcissists, but never with a malignant Narc (that has since changed). Well my drinking buddy that evening had married a Malignant Narcissist. She moved to another part of the Globe. Then she learned what she had married.

In a rage her Malignant Narcissist ended up putting her in the hospital for months. She had no family in that country. She had no friends. Only the Flying Monkeys which were his family. Her experience gave me the idea for this site. If she had known about the Red Flags given off by Narcissists, she might not have gotten involved, let alone gotten married. and isolated in a foreign land.

The Sandra Brown video also gave me more inspiration. Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths are everywhere and mess up a lot of people. I believe that it is the fault of the educational systems. Having Narcissistic Personality Disorder is far more than just being “Stuck Up”, which is the common belief of what being a Narcissist is.

Because the Narcissist’s Play Book seems to be universal, I figured that if I could setup a site which showcased the Red Flags to look for, it might provide people with knowledge to make better decisions. On this site one can learn what those Red Flags are. Then watch for them.

When multiple Red Flags start showing up, it might be time to step back and reconsider one’s interaction with the individual who is displaying those multiple Red Flags. Multiple Red Flags could indicate that you are dealing with a Cluster-B Disordered Individual and it might be wise to slow down, to ask more questions. It would also be a good idea to introduce your new love interest to all your friends and family members, to get their important opinions. They can also potentially help Law Enforcement identify your new love interest, should you suddenly “Disappear” (I’m being very serious).

Disordered Individuals need to rush, when they are Psychologically Manipulating you. They can’t keep their mask on for too long. The sooner that they get into your head via the Love Bombing and Mirroring, the easier it will be isolate you. Once you are programmed and isolated, the Disordered Individual will relax. The Love Bombing False Persona could become a fond memory. Their Mask will start to come off. Your new Reality could be shocking and possibly painful. Especially if they can isolate you from your family and friends and make you totally dependant on them

I believe that this site has succeeded in providing information. I have noticed that a number of visitors are using the link found in the Main Menu at the top of the page, to help them find Licensed Therapists, who can help them heal from Narcissistic Abuse.

The number of visitors keeps growing each month. Thousands of individuals have visited and continue to visit this site. Even if only “one” single person learned about the Red Flags displayed by Disordered Individuals, then it was worth the time and effort. What that Malignant Narcissist had put my friend through, I would not wish on an enemy.

Her story has no ending.

She has to look over her shoulder when in public. She takes a Taxi home, even if it’s within walking distance, to reduce the chance of being followed.

Not a fun way to live.

Most important Red Flags of a Narcissist

There are many Red Flags given off by Narcissists. Love Bombing for one. Mirroring is a big one, which I tend to consistently harp on about.

There are a couple of key things which the Narcissist will not hide from you. One is in my opinion the “most important Red Flag“. Ask the potential Narcissist about their childhood. Were they brought up by their Birth Mother? If they were still an infant and they were adopted out or given to other family members (say Grand Parents) to be brought up, that is themost important & biggest Red Flag“.

To better confirm that Red Flag, ask questions about the person’s Birth Mother? If there is any animosity or even outright hatred shown towards their Birth Mother, that is “yet another major Red Flag” which also confirms your perception of the biggest Red Flag.

It is my opinion that Narcissists are created due to Abandonment Trauma(s) suffered while still an infant, before the left hemisphere of the brain is developed. The Trauma(s) change how the Brain Develops – ie it’s a Hardware-Wiring issue and so Narcissists can not be changed via a treatment protocol.  MRI Brain Scans seem to confirm “my opinion”.

Joseph Burgo, in a radio interview, alluded to the coincidence that many diagnosed Narcissists had been abandoned in their early childhood. They were adopted out. They were transferred to other family members (Grandparents) to be cared for.

All the Narcissists who I got to know, had issues with their Mother. Yes the issues varied between a coldness to outright disdain.

Sam Vaknin wrote something confirming this in a review of the book titled “The Abandoned Child Within: On Losing and Regaining Self-Worth

Sam Vaknin wrote:

“Underneath this colourful maelstrom lies an hypothesis: pathological narcissism is the direct outcome of early childhood abuse and trauma, mainly in the form of abandonment or neglect. Narcissism, in other words, is a defense against hurt and emotional injury.”.

A female Somatic Narc had a pronounced dislike of her Mother. In stark contrast, she and her Dad were fine. Events in the past when one is an infant can have profound affects which can last a lifetime.

A Cerebral Narc would not speak to their Mother when she came in tears because her own Mother had just passed away. The Cerebral Narc’s Grandmother dies and the Narc could not be bothered to come and talk and try to comfort their own Mother. . Would a non Cluster-B Disordered Individual, who has Empathy for the suffering of others behave that way?.

Being brought up by other family members like Grand Parents can cause Abandonment Trauma. To the Grand Parents it’s a burden to “have to” feed, cloth and bring up their daughter’s infant child. They already brought up their own kids.

The distrust of the Birth Mother for being abandoned and sent off to live with strangers (yes they are Grand Parents and an adult understands that but an infant sees themselves being dumped off to some strangers) by the Narc can be life long.

Different people love very differently and sadly some not at all. That description includes Grand Parents. The infant had already lost life’s lottery by being born to a Mother who abandoned them and sent them away to live in another place. Good chance that the Grand Parents were not the kindest and most loving of individuals. So the infant losses again and possibly pays for such loss by developing a Personality Disorder which could prevent them from being able to establish and enjoy “Intimate and Loving” relationships.

Alice Miller has written a post on her site which ties a number of things together. Her post is titled: “The Ignorance or How we produce the Evil”. I’ll  have some quotes below, from that Alice Miller post.

Alice Miller wrote :

“Children who are given love, respect, understanding, kindness, and warmth will naturally develop different characteristics from those who experience neglect, contempt, violence or abuse, and never have anyone they can turn to for kindness and affection. Such absence of trust and love is a common denominator in the formative years of all the dictators I have studied. The result is that these children will tend to glorify the violence inflicted upon them and later to take advantage of every possible opportunity to exercise such violence, possibly on a gigantic scale. Children learn by imitation. Their bodies do not learn what we try to instill in them by words but what they have experienced physically. Battered, injured children will learn to batter and injure others; sheltered, respected children will learn to respect and protect those weaker than themselves. Children have nothing else to go on but their own experiences.

As Alice Miler stated “Children have nothing else to go on but their own experience”. If the infant child experienced Abandonment Trauma they they will not know how to Love someone. They will do to someone else, what had been done to to them. They will use them and abandon them.

Alice Miller also wrote :

The well-known American pediatrician Dr. Brazelton once filmed a group of mothers holding and feeding their babies, each in her own particular way. More than 20 years later he repeated the experiment with the women those babies had grown into and who now had babies themselves. Astoundingly, they all held their babies in exactly the same way as they had been held by their mothers, although of course they had no conscious memories from those early years. One of the things Braselton proved with this experiment was that we are influenced in our behavior by our unconscious memories. And those memories can be life affirming and affectionate or traumatic and destructive.”

It is my opinion, that It is not the Narcissist’s fault for developing such a Personality Disorder. It is up to you whether you want to get involved, in any kind of a relationship, with a Personality Disordered individual.

So recapping the two biggest and in my opinion most important Red Flags of a Narcissist. If you learn that the person was not raised by their Birth Mother that is IMHO the most important and biggest of all the Red Flags. Major issues with their Birth Mother is another confirming major Red Flag.

The more Red Flags that you can spot, the higher the probability that you are interacting with a Personality Disordered Individual.

Watch for the Red Flags.

Are Narcissists like Spiders?

A friend made an interesting comment. It was about a female Somatic Narcissist which we both know.

My friend made a comment that she was much like a Spider. She would create a fine Spider’s Web to trap you in. Once trapped she would do whatever she wanted to you.

SPIDER home_2_bg_091303

Photo courtesy PDPhoto.org

She could be devilishly charming, always wanting to be the center of everyone’s attention. She made sure that everyone knew that she was there. She would work at trying to build you up. Love Bombing you with compliments and talk of being kindred spirits.  Eventually the “Discard phase” would arrive with the backstabbing and smear campaign.

The idea of her being like a Spider was interesting.

Narcissists really are like Spiders. They build a web of lies and half truths,  much like a Spider builds it’s Spider’s Web. Once they have their prey in their web, the Spider will feed off it. With the Narcissist you become a Source of Narcissistic Supply, which they will feed on. Eventually they find a new and to them better Source of Narcissistic Supply, so you get discarded. All that is left of a Spider’s prey is an empty shell. Survivors of narcissistic abuse will tell you that they are not the same person that they were before hooking up with their Narcissist.

Narcissists lack Empathy for others. Spiders also don’t care about the prey that they trap in their web. Both Spiders and Narcissists will happily Feed off their prey. Both Spiders and Narcissists are also always looking to trap more victims in their web.

My friend is not knowledgeable about the DSM-4 & 5 profile of people afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but his analogy of referring to this female as being like a Spider was extraordinarily perceptive and in my opinion sadly dead on. She is clearly someone to stay the hell away from.

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

How to spot a narcissist next time round before it’s too late.

Being in a relationship with a Narcissist once is your life, is in my opinion one time too many.

This video presentation is from the heart by someone who sadly has been there and done that.

How to spot a narcissist next time round before it’s too late.

Quote below is from what was posted with the video on the Daylight out of Darkness YouTube channel :

So I’m not going to give you a list of things to look out for because I actually believe that doesn’t help at all.

I think the most important thing to do is start paying attention to your own feelings inside while you are with that person. to make sure that you are meeting your own needs first. to pay attention to how you feel in the company of this person and I’m not talking about the in love feeling. how much you enjoy all the other interactions with this person and how this person reacts when you are meeting you are needs first on an ongoing basis. also picked up on the energy this person is emitting and how it is influencing you.

On some occasions it’s going to take you a while to realize someone is narcissistic or dysfunctional, but you will notice it after a short while if you are paying attention to your own needs and feelings, and then you can move on with grace.

The more healed you are inside as far as your emotional wounds the less your chances of actually ending up in a serious relationship with a narcissist. that’s why focusing on yourself is the most important criteria when it comes to narcissists and abuse.

Unfortunately the narcissist is like water he just molds to whatever receptacle he is poured into so sometimes it’s near impossible to pick up his narcissism from a checklist.

You are going to have to rely on your internal gauge. I believe this is the most important tool to living a healthy happy life and staying away from these dysfunctional characters. Link below to Daylight out of Darkness, “Shop Front”:
http://daylightoutofdarkness.spreadsh…

Video is courtesy of the

Daylight out of Darkness YouTube channel

Click on this line to also visit the the Daylight out of Darkness Google Plus website.

Click on this line to visit the Daylight out of Darkness Facebook page.

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com/
Permission was granted via a Creative Commons License to include the long Quote above into this post.

How to spot the red flags and warning signs of NPD

Why daughters of narcissists date and marry more narcissists | The Faces of Narcissism

It is not uncommon for daughters of narcissistic parents to date and marry narcissistic men repeatedly. Unfortunately, people who come from healthy families cannot understand why this would happen to someone.

Source: Why daughters of narcissists date and marry more narcissists | The Faces of Narcissism

Original post was written by Joanna Moore.

Thank you Joanna for permitting us to share this.

“The Narcissist: Psychology of Demons”

Interesting compilation video posted to Vimeo by K J Ozborne and titled: “The Narcissist: Psychology of Demons.“. View the entire video, as there are multiple people (including experts)  speaking in separate segments of this video.

The Narcissist: Psychology of Demons from KJ Ozborne on Vimeo.

Video is courtesy of the K J Ozborne Vimeo channel

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

The Secret Language of Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths: How Abusers Manipulate Their Victims

Learning the Secret Language of Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths: How Abusers Manipulate Their Victims by Shahida Arabi

Source: The Secret Language of Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths: How Abusers Manipulate Their Victims

Author: Shahida Arabi

Narcissists are very skilled in the art of Seduction.

Video is courtesy of the DoctrSam YouTube channel

Skilled Seducers will always use a Psychological Manipulation Technique called Mirroring. Why? Because Mirroring works to quickly establish Rapport with their Targets.

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

 

Why the Narcissist will try to reconnect with you after you have left them

When you break up with a Narcissist and they find out (yes they will keep tabs on you) that you have started dating someone else, often times the Narcissist will come running back to you. You were once their Source of Narcissistic Supply. Yes, they have a new Source of Narcissistic Supply, but the Narcissist fears losing you as a fallback option of Narcissistic Supply, when you start dating other people.

Talk to those who have broken up with a Narcissist and they will tell you that its never a good idea to fall for the empty promises of the Narcissist.

Video is courtesy of the Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach YouTube channel

 

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Red Flag of a Narcissist #4: Extremely Charming


This is video #4 in this series on red flags of a Narcissist. Like with all the other videos, not every Narcissist will have every red flag, nor will they have every red flag to a troubling degree. Pay attention to the red flags and get out sooner than later.

Click on this line to visit the www.NarcissistSupport.com website.

Narcissists do not get better, and they will always cause chaos and destruction in your life as long as they are in it.

Video is courtesy of the Narcissist Support YouTube channel

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Red Flag to watch for: Narcissists can pour on the fake Charm

Narcissists have an innate need to be the Centre of Attention when other people are around. They will be loud and boisterous, all in a pretty charming sort of way. They will command the attention of those around them. If they pick you as their next Target, you will be on the receiving end of their endless charm. That endless Charm is really another aspect of Love Bombing.

Why have you become their next Target? Because they want something that you have, or can give them, or your status can also shine on them when they are constantly seen by your side.

Narcissists can be pretty Charming, until you understand why they are being so Charming.

The video below discusses Narcsissistic Charm as being a Red Flag which one can look out for.

Video is courtesy of the Overcoming Understanding YouTube channel

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Narcissists are pretty charming, until you understand why they are so Charming.

Narcissists are Charming, until you understand why they are so Chamring. Quote by "Uniquely Narcissistic"

Copyright 2016 https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com
Feel free to share under Creative Commons License with attribution to Uniquely Narcissistic

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Why do Narcissists Cheat? Why do Narcissists leave relationships? Why or When do Narcissists Return or Come Back?

This video provides detailed answer to three questions:

1. Why Do Narcissists Cheat?
2. Why do Narcissists leave relationships?
3. Why or When do Narcissists Return or Come Back to the person they had dumped?

Video is courtesy of the Narcissist Free YouTube channel

The Narcissist Free YouTube channel is a superb resource about those who are afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and their Targeted Victims.

 

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

 

Who are Narcissists Nice to? Who do Narcissists Target? Who do Narcissists Cheat with?

In this video three important questions are asked and answered:

1. Who are Narcissists Nice to?
2. Who do Narcissists Target?
3. Who do Narcissists Cheat with?

Video is courtesy of the Narcissist Free YouTube channel

The Narcissist Free YouTube channel features many extremely informative videos about Narcissists, their Targets and Narcissistic Victim abuse. It is an excellent resource to visit.

Posted to http ://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Narcissistic Emotional Manipulator