Psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter describes 7 mind games commonly played by a Narcissist, and outlines ways to stay clear of them.
Video is courtesy of the Surviving Narcissism YouTube Channel.
This young woman was in an emotionally abusive relationship. Long-term exposure to stress could cause numerous Anxiety Disorders, along with feelings of Exhaustion and Depression.
Video is courtesy of the Healing from Bad Relationships YouTube channel
Narcissistic Abuse is the Narcissist’s gift that just keeps on giving and destroying the potential for a life which the victim “could have lived”.
Breaking the Codependency Myth: The Power of The Trauma Bond by Shahida Arabi “Free” by Alice Popkorn via Flickr. Creative Commons License. Ever had a victim-blamer claim you were “codependent”? That you in some way deserved the abuse, or that it was your fault? Let them know: codependency was a term historically used to describe […]
Copyright Shahida Arabi. Our thanks go out to Shahida Arabi for allowing this to be shared here.
I was reading a blog post (on another site) about a woman who had borrowed her Narcissist’s car, to visit a Doctor to get some surgical stitches removed. If all went well she would have plenty of time to pickup the Narcissist.
Complications took extra time and she arrived almost 1/2 hour late to pickup the Narcissist.
Instead of asking how things went at the Doctor, the Narc verbally laid into the lady because she was late. The Woman was still in severe pain from getting surgical stitches removed. So what! Narcissists do not care about you. They only care about themselves.
She called him on his callous responses to her. He never did ask how the Doctor’s visit went.
Possibly due to the Doctor’s visit, the lady stood up to the Narc’s Verbal Abuse and called him a Bully. Her standing up for herself pissed the Narc off. He raised his arm and it looked like he was about to strike the woman, but he was able to control himself. She then told him to go ahead and hit her.
The following is my two cents worth “opinion”:
When you are being Verbally Abused, leave the situation if possible. At a Red Light, exit the car and tell the Narc that you will see him at home. That stops the verbal abuse. The Narc expects to belittle you, to gain control over you in this situation. By leaving the situation, you are going No Contact – if only for a short time.
By leaving, you deescalate the situation. You also take power away from Narc, because he will no longer be able to verbally abuse you.
In my opinion it was not a good idea to goad a Narcissist, by telling them to Go Ahead and Hit you. Legally you are giving them permission. If you call the Police, the Narc is great at playing the innocent one and playing people.
Hey, he could tell the Police Officer that you and him are into S&M Sex, but only when the other party gives permission. He could say that you gave him permission to hit you. If it goes to family Court, the Narc’s Lawyer will twist your statement against you. The key is that you will admit that you told him to hit you. Never give any abuser that kind of remark. Talk to your local Law Enforcement Authority about how saying something like that, could tie up the hands of the Police Officers and the Court.
You goaded your Narc, by telling him to hit you. So he goes ahead and hits you. Do you think that it will stop with one single punch??? If Narcissistic Rage takes over your Narcissist, your face could become black and blue with blood running down your broken nose. After they wire your lower jaw back in place, you will be having dinner via a straw for a long time. When you are finally allowed to eat solid food, you could find it difficult to chew due to all the missing teeth that your Narc knocked out.
Do not play with fire. A friend ended up in the Hospital for months after her Malignant Narcissist went to town on her. Her horrific experience is what motivated the creation of this blog.
Speak to your Lawyer and to Local Law Enforcement about your legal rights regarding Domestic Violence and Abuse. Ask them how it could harm your legal position if you told the Narcissist to hit you. There is also info about the US Domestic Abuse Hotline with phone number visible on the main page of this blog. Also a link in the large menu at the top of the Blog. It is a resource which could be of great help. Call and find out how they can help you.
Never forget that Narcissists are Disordered Individuals. If Narcissistic Rage takes over, then you have no idea just how much physical damage they can do to you. Do not play with fire. Do not goad any Abuser by telling them to Hit You. Every year, people die at the hands of their Abuser.
Disclaimer: The above is just “my opinion”. It is not meant to be any kind of Legal Advice. Do your own due diligence and seek out your own Legal Counsel.
Mind boggling emotional abuse of their daughter, by a Narcissistic Mother.
No wonder there is a connection between Narcissistic Parenting and their kids choosing Suicide.
Video is courtesy of the Narc Awareness YouTube channel
Video courtesy of the Finally free from Narcissism YouTube channel
Police wearing body cameras capture the result of a horrific beating a woman had received. Because of the body camera video, the husband who beat his wife was charged and convicted and is now serving a 10 year jail sentence.
Yes he is in jail, but has justice been served? He gets free Room and Board for 10 years, with 3 meals a day cooked for him. Just look at the woman’s face in the screen capture pic. She had been getting this kind of abuse for 10 years. Absolutely sickening.
Is the photo below showing you, your future?Photo of Gale Marmoy is a screen capture (which we made) from the Police video
Her husband had apparently been beating this woman for about a decade before being convicted. Clear example of Trauma Bonding or Stockholm Syndrome on the part of the victim.
If you are presently in an abusive relationship, then seek out the Police and your Health Care Professionals to help you to get out of that abusive relationship before it “Kills You“.
Abuse is real. Being abused is not the fault of the victim. Trauma Bonding is very real, but those bonds can be broken with the help of your Medical Professionals.
No one deserves to be abused.
Watch the video to see how cool he was when the Police arrived at his door after he beat his wife. IMHO he displayed Psychopathic traits. It was bizarre how he calmly asked his wife (whom he called Dawn) if she wanted to speak to the Police. It was as if nothing had happened to give a reason for the Police to have shown up. As if he had done nothing wrong. If the Police had not come, he was not going to call his wife an ambulance or take her to the hospital.
What kind of person could be so Heartless and lacking in Empathy, to behave in this manner? Well lets see, a Malignant Narcissist in a rage and of course a Psychopath could do extreme damage to someone in the blink of an eye. Afterwards they could even blame the victim. Such disordered individuals lack Empathy for the suffering of others.
It boggles my mind how someone could do something like this, yet sadly it happens all too often.
Video is courtesy of the OfficialHantsPolice YouTube channel
Complex Trauma: Understanding and Treatment
Video is courtesy of the FOCL Online YouTube channel
Quoting from the text which was posted with this video:
“Historically, when someone has experienced trauma that has a lasting impact, they have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). In recent years those who work with trauma victims have advocated for an additional category: Complex Trauma. Therapeutic work with those who have experienced either multiple traumas or Repetitive and Chronic Trauma”
In the video the presenter speaks about the abuse of Children and suffering multiple traumas. That the same Multiple Trauma Stress, can also “injure” an adult. For example, the victim of Narcissist Abuse becomes “marinated” in the Repetitive and Chronic Trauma.
Between the Traumatic Events will be “reward” type of events. The victim is cycled between reward and Trauma/Punishment events. That sets the Victim up for Trauma Bonding to occur. The emotional injuries alter the victim.
When one leaves an abusive relationship, the injuries do not disappear. Nor does the Trauma Bond break. The victim’s day will be filled with thoughts of the Abusive Narcissist.
The Victim will wonder if maybe the Narcissist was right and it was their own fault. The Narcissist would never admit to being at fault, always shifting the blame back to the Victim. There is an old saying that “If you tell people a “Lie” often enough, it becomes the “truth”.
Flashbacks are common.The inability to shut off the Flight or Fight response when a situation is not harmful. In my opinion, Complex Trauma can develop in both children and adults who have experienced Multiple Trauma or Repetitive and Chronic Trauma. I believe that Trauma Bonding can also be found in adult victims of abuse who have developed Complex Trauma.
Trauma Bonding or Stockholm Syndrome can occur when the abused individual is made to go thru alternating Reward / Punishment cycles. A simple act of kindness during an abusive situation, can mess up the victim’s brain chemistry. The kindness event is short lived, as the abuser goes back into Narcissistic Abuse mode. Unfortunately for the victim of the abuse, a Trauma Bond may have started to form.
Very well presented video about Trauma Bonding, which at first establishes what Stockholm Syndrome and Trauma Bonding is. Then details the Reward Punishment cycle, which is used to “hook you”.
Video is courtesy of the Inner Integration YouTube channel
Developing Complex PTSD Symptoms due to Narcissistic Abuse.
I believe that Victims of Narcissistic Abuse may end up with their natural Fight or Flight response having difficulty to fully shutoff. It keeps going off, when there is no danger. Then there are the Flashbacks.
Heart Breaking to listen to. If you can relate to things discussed in this video, please seek out Professional Medical Help, especially from a Medical Professional who has worked with Abuse Victims and PTSD.
It’s long dark tunnel and hard to find your way out of it. A trained and experienced Medical Professional could be the answer to helping you getting your life back and finally exiting that dark tunnel where that Narcissist had locked you in.
Video is courtesy of the Running from Chaos YouTube channel
Tracy Malone’s videos go into intimate details about of the Red Flags of the Narcissists who had crossed her path. In this video she discusses “Rushing Intimacy” as being a major Red Flag to watch out for. She also describes. from the Heart, what she is going thru while recovering from Narcissistic Abuse.
May I suggest to check out Tracy Malone’s YouTube channel. Really grateful that she allows the sharing of her superb videos.
Video courtesy of the Tracy Malone YouTube channel
On Friday 27th May 2016, Christine Louis De Canonville is running a 1 day workshop “UNDERSTANDING THE NARCISSIST’S WEB OF DECEPTION”.
It’s the 1st in a series of workshops for understanding narcissistic victim abuse.Benefit from my 25 years as a psychotherapist working with victims of narcissistic abuse.
In this workshop we’ll look at such things as:
• How to recognize the difference between healthy narcissism and pathological narcissism.
• What attracts a narcissist to their prey?
• How to recognize pathological narcissistic behaviours early in a relationship.
• Why narcissists need victims as “narcissistic supply”?
• How the “Dark Triad” will help you understand the different levels of narcissistic behavior.
• The effects of narcissistic abuse on the victim.
• Understand the significant effects of being raised by and/or being in a close relationship with a narcissist (in the home, workplace, friendships, etc.).
• Why therapists need to understand narcissistic abuse.
• Plus much more….
You’ll find all the information HERE or the link below where you can download the Workshop Brochure.
This workshop is being held in Dublin, Ireland on 27th May 2016..
Copyright © 2016 Roadshow for Therapists, All rights reserved.
This video discusses “Lack of Object Constancy” which is another Trait and Red Flag of a Narcissist to watch for.
Video is courtesy of the Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome YouTube channel
The video below is posted by someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. She discusses a therapy session about Lack of Object Constancy. What she mentions, also applies to Narcissists. Note that she is actively seeking treatment via Therapy Sessions, which is something a Narcissist would rarely (if ever) do.
Video is courtesy of The Borderline Life YouTube channel
Posted to uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com
Recovering from a Heroin Addiction is said to be easier to do, than to recover from Abusive Relationship with a Narcissist, if Trauma Bonding has occurred.
Video is courtesy of the Sacha Slone YouTube channel
Sacha Slone discusses brain chemicals which could help keep the Victim of Narcissistic Abuse conditioned to remain in the relationship, not unlike a Drug Addiction. The biochemicals in the brain may also help create Trauma Bonding or Stockholm Syndrome.
The helplessness is learned, over time, using the Biochemistry created by using Reward and Punishment. Victims are trained to become dependent on the Narcissist. People outside of the abusive relationship can never understand why the Victim cannot leave such a relationship.
Victims of Narcissistic Abuse remain in abusive relationships. Victims of Narcissists, will often defend the Narcissist.
Trauma Bonding happens. It is also referred to as the Stockholm Syndrome. This informative video goes into more detail about Trauma Bonding and the Stockholm Syndrome.
Video is courtesy of the familytreecounseling YouTube channel
Leyla Loric gives some personal insight about “Getting back on track after Narcissistic Abuse“.
The hardest step is for one to leave an Abusive Relationship. The Emotional Pain remains and one has to learn to move on. It will not be easy. Many end up with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Seeking Help from Health Care Professionals who specialize in PTSD could help deal with the emotional trauma and recurring flashbacks.
The key to remember is that the lessons learned will help protect one from becoming sucked into a relationship by another abuser.
Christine Louis de Canonville mentioned something important during one of her seminars on Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome. That was: after becoming involved with a Narcissist you become primed and other Narcissists will pick you out of crowd and try to target you.
Video is courtesy of the Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome YouTube channel
UPDATE Feb 16 2016 – Repaired all the links in this post. They now work again and take you to Christine’s site. Not sure what happened, but they do work now.
Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com
Disclaimer: Any Trademarks mentioned in this post are owned by the respective Trademark owner. Thanks go out to Christine Louis de Canonville for keeping us updated about her must attend workshops
“Narcissistic Victim Syndrome….What the heck is that?” was a talk given by “Christine Louis de Canonville” at the Irish Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists in Dublin, in October 2015.
To understand “Narcissistic Victim Syndrome” one must have an understanding of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and it’s pathology.
This is an extremely informative talk which sheds much light on the darkness which is Narcissistic Abuse and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She speaks of growing up with a Narcissistic Psychopathic brother.
One key mentioned is that once you have been “primed” by a Narcissist, then you attract Narcissists by the boatload.
Please take the time to listen to the whole video. You will be glad that you did.