Tagged: uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Quote “It is my attraction to some of those Red Flags that causes problems. The Love Bombing makes me feel oh so special. The feeling that you have met your Soul Mate is indescribable.”

Quote

Quote:It is my attraction to some of those Red Flags that causes problems. The Love Bombing makes me feel oh so special. The feeling that you have met your Soul Mate is indescribable.

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Narcissists use Mind Control Techniques to reprogram you to be someone far from who you were.

How the Narcissist uses Mind Control Techniques
to reprogram you.

Video is courtesy of the From Surviving To Thriving!! YouTube channel

Psychological Manipulation Techniques are real and are powerful. Narcissist use them because they work. Victims change so much from the person they were before the Narcissist targeted them.

Maybe, all we need is Love

Video is courtesy of the TEDx Talks YouTube channel

George Eman Vaillant M.D. discusses the life of one individual who participated in Harvard’s 75 year (and still ongoing) Grant Research Study of Human Development. The individual who’s life is discussed was Godfrey Camille. I found it intriguing that a Psychiatrist and Professor at Harvard Medical School and the Director of Research at the Department of Psychiatry would discuss “Love” and it’s ability to transform people.

Godfrey Camille survived being raised by two Disordered Parents. He was diagnosed as having Narcissistic qualities and was rated as highly unlikely to become a Doctor.

When Godfrey successfully completed his Harvard Medical training and became a Doctor, he tried to commit suicide. The reason given was because as a Doctor he would have to “care” for others. Narcissists lack empathy for others, so the idea of having to care for others day in and day out must have been daunting.

In his thirties Godfrey was hospitalized for over a year. Something happened during that time. It is my opinion that he had an NDE during his Hospital stay. At that time Near Death Experience was not as well known as it is now. George Vaillant attributed that something to the continuous care and attention by the Nursing staff, while Godfrey was in the hospital. Finally, someone cared about Godfrey.

It is thought by some Psychiatrists, Psychoanalysts, Psychologists and Therapists that Narcissists cannot be changed. Narcissists do not come seeking the help of a Therapist (why would they, as they think that they are already perfect). They are usually dragged in by their partner (victim) who seeks help coping with the Narcissist.

Yet Godfrey Camille did change. That change was attributed to “Love”. As a child Godfrey was not loved by his Disordered Parents. As an adult Narcissist, finding Narcissist Supply is key. If you lack empathy for others, Love is not even on the menu. It is my opinion that Godfrey had an NDE and that is what changed him. The key lesson people get from their NDE, is the importance of “Love” to one’s life.

Later in his life, Godfrey was asked what he had learned from his children. It took a few days for him to reply. When he did reply, he said that he had learned “Love” from his children. The Narcissist in Godfrey had been transformed into an individual who cared for and had empathy for others, was able to share intimacy and experience “Love”.

It is also my opinion that one of the keys to the lingering pain and suffering of Victims of Narcissistic Abuse is learning that one was only used and “not Loved”. That is a massive betrayal.

In the TEDx Talks video you have a Psychiatrist and Professor at Harvard Medical School and the Director of Research at the Department of Psychiatry stating that “Love” is what we all need in our lives. It can transform one’s life and it’s backed up by 75 years of research.

Video is courtesy of the Clementine Acoustic YouTube channel

Narcissists use the fairy-tale romance, as a way to manipulate, ensnare and keep their new sources of Narcissistic Supply hooked!

Have you recently met someone new?

Have they swept you off your feet?

Do they tell you that they feel a deep connection to you?

Do they seem like they just can’t get enough of you, being constantly in touch with you via Text Messages or the Telephone?

By chance, have they mentioned to you, that feel that you are their “Soul Mate“?

Might I suggest that your new lover may have found their next “Source of Narcissistic Supply“, and not their “Soul Mate“.

Narcissists use what are essentially Psychological Manipulation and Control Techniques.

Watch this video from a Gal who has been through the Soul Mate Fairytale Romance BS. Her title for the video is great: “Narcissists – Beware of the Fairytale Romance!“.

UPDATE: The video is no longer on YouTube

How To Spot Narcissists On Facebook by Dr. Sylvia Gearing

Ever see a Facebook page where the owner constantly posts new Profile Photos of themselves?

Do their update posts seem like advertisements about themselves, promoting how oh so wonderful they “think” they are?

Does the person have many hundreds and even thousands of Facebook Friends?

Dr. Sylvia Gearing discusses how to spot Narcissists on Facebook.

A number of Research Studies have come out since this video was posted, and those studies confirm what Dr. Sylvia Gearing presents in this video.

Video is courtesy of the Psych Videos YouTube channel

Research Study found that those who took acetaminophen showed a reduction in empathy.

This was posted when the Study came out. I then pulled the post. I’m reposting it. To my mind it is rather interesting how a chemical pain reliever could affect the reaction of centers in the Brain which control our emotions and how and if we react to them.

A new Research Study out of The Ohio State University found that those who took acetaminophen showed a reduction in empathy. They weren’t as concerned about another person’s person’s hurt feelings. The Study was published on May 05 2016 in the journal “Social Congitive and Affective Neuroscience, which is one of the Oxford Journals.

Acetaminophen is the main ingredient in the over the counter pain relief medication. It is also found in many Cough Syrups. Because it may be included in other medications and syrups, one has to be careful not to overdose which can cause Liver Damage and possibly death.

One of the major traits of Narcissists, is their lack of Empathy.

One of the Narcissistic DSM IV Criteria“(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. Yes, the narcissistic needs to also display 4 or more of the other criteria. Lack of Empathy is a wiring issue in their brain, likely due to Attachment Trauma during infancy.

I am in no away offering medical advise. One of the generally accepted major traits of a Narcissist is the lack of empathy. I have no idea what affect acetaminophen maybe might have on someone with NPD.

The authors of the study were:

Baldwin Way

Dominik Mischkowski

and Jennifer Crocker

Click on this line to visit the Oxford Journals site to view the Study Abstract

From Painkiller to Empathy Killer: Acetaminophen (Paracetamol) Reduces Empathy for Pain

Video is courtesy of the Fox Business YouTube channel

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com/
Disclaimer: Any Trademarks mentioned in this post are owned by the respective Trademark owner. There could be unintentional errors or omissions in this post. Always refer to the official sites to confirm details and any ongoing changes or updates. This post is subject to change without notice.

Being an Empath can open the door to Living Hell.

Being an Empath can open the door to Living Hell, for the Empath and those close to them.

The video is about the Tragic Life of an Empath, who was targeted by a Narcissist, Sociopath and Psychopaths.

Her Narcissistic Ex Husband, shot the Empath multiple times at close range. The Narcissist Ex shot himself in the head and died.

The Empath survived the shooting and took almost a decade to recover. A blood transfusion given during her ordeal was tainted with Hepatitis C. This Empath could not catch a break.

Then a Sociopath and Psychopaths targeted her and her new husband. The Empath and her new Husband end up being buried alive together, by the Psychopaths.

Video courtesy of the Couples Who Kill YouTube channel

Visitor Comments Received

I would like our site visitors to remain anonymous. In that vein I moderate comments. Most comments will never be changed to public. I’m going to try something new with this post. It will feature a number of comments left by visitors with my possible responses.

https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com/2016/01/10/psychopathy-is-the-number-one-health-risk-yet-most-people-have-no-clue-what-the-tell-tell-signs-of-psychopathy-are/

K made the following comment about the above linked to post: “I couldn’t resist commenting. Perfectly written!”

My reply to K : Thanks for your kind words. Most people were never educated about disordered individuals such as Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopath. I believe it to be a major failure of our educational systems. Most people have no clue about such individuals and the physical and emotional damage that they may leave in their wake.

B wrote: “Hi there, I check your blog like every week. Your humoristic style is witty, keep it up!”

My reply to B: Thank You. I think that you may be referring to the Quotes posts.

J wrote: “I simply could not depart your web site before suggesting that I really loved
the standard information a person provide in your visitors? Is gonna be again easelessly in order to check up on new posts”

My reply to J: Thank you. I’m glad that you find the info posted here to be of interest. This site gets visitors from all around the globe. I hope that the amount of useful info posted on this site will continue to grow.

K wrote: “I will immediately grasp your rss as I can’t to find your e-mail subscription link or newsletter service.
Do you have any? Kindly permit me understand so that I may subscribe. Thanks.

My reply to K: Sorry but we do not have an email subscription list. If you follow a WordPress Blog, I believe that WordPress would notify you of new posts. Uniquely Narcissistic is a WordPress blog. Or just visit the site. All new posts are of the first/main page. Except sometimes I will stick an older post at the top as a reminder. For example, that was done recently with a post about an upcoming seminar to be held by Christine De Canonville. In a case like that, just look below the sticky top post for all the latest posts.

D wrote: YES! My Narcissist’s birth mother divorced his birth father when he was X years old. He was later adopted by her second husband at around X. His step father physically and mentally abused him until xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. His mother was a workaholic and spent most of her time traveling, working, or focusing on her new husband and XXXXXXX. I realized early on that I was paying the price for a lot of what his mother had done to him.

My reply to D: Really sad to read your comment.  I think you have taken a major step by becoming informed about disordered individuals. Never forget that you are or were in that situation because of your kind and caring nature. That makes you a very special Human Being. Knowing the Red Flags to watch for, can protect you in the future. For example, most people have never even heard of Mirroring, which Narcissists consistently use. By staying away from disordered individuals, one opens themselves up to the possibility of meeting a fellow kind, loving and caring individual. Such individuals are out there. It’s just that the Narcissists work rather hard at getting to people like yourself first.

Most important Red Flags of a Narcissist

There are many Red Flags given off by Narcissists. Love Bombing for one. Mirroring is a big one, which I tend to consistently harp on about.

There are a couple of key things which the Narcissist will not hide from you. One is in my opinion the “most important Red Flag“. Ask the potential Narcissist about their childhood. Were they brought up by their Birth Mother? If they were still an infant and they were adopted out or given to other family members (say Grand Parents) to be brought up, that is themost important & biggest Red Flag“.

To better confirm that Red Flag, ask questions about the person’s Birth Mother? If there is any animosity or even outright hatred shown towards their Birth Mother, that is “yet another major Red Flag” which also confirms your perception of the biggest Red Flag.

It is my opinion that Narcissists are created due to Abandonment Trauma(s) suffered while still an infant, before the left hemisphere of the brain is developed. The Trauma(s) change how the Brain Develops – ie it’s a Hardware-Wiring issue and so Narcissists can not be changed via a treatment protocol.  MRI Brain Scans seem to confirm “my opinion”.

Joseph Burgo, in a radio interview, alluded to the coincidence that many diagnosed Narcissists had been abandoned in their early childhood. They were adopted out. They were transferred to other family members (Grandparents) to be cared for.

All the Narcissists who I got to know, had issues with their Mother. Yes the issues varied between a coldness to outright disdain.

Sam Vaknin wrote something confirming this in a review of the book titled “The Abandoned Child Within: On Losing and Regaining Self-Worth

Sam Vaknin wrote:

“Underneath this colourful maelstrom lies an hypothesis: pathological narcissism is the direct outcome of early childhood abuse and trauma, mainly in the form of abandonment or neglect. Narcissism, in other words, is a defense against hurt and emotional injury.”.

A female Somatic Narc had a pronounced dislike of her Mother. In stark contrast, she and her Dad were fine. Events in the past when one is an infant can have profound affects which can last a lifetime.

A Cerebral Narc would not speak to their Mother when she came in tears because her own Mother had just passed away. The Cerebral Narc’s Grandmother dies and the Narc could not be bothered to come and talk and try to comfort their own Mother. . Would a non Cluster-B Disordered Individual, who has Empathy for the suffering of others behave that way?.

Being brought up by other family members like Grand Parents can cause Abandonment Trauma. To the Grand Parents it’s a burden to “have to” feed, cloth and bring up their daughter’s infant child. They already brought up their own kids.

The distrust of the Birth Mother for being abandoned and sent off to live with strangers (yes they are Grand Parents and an adult understands that but an infant sees themselves being dumped off to some strangers) by the Narc can be life long.

Different people love very differently and sadly some not at all. That description includes Grand Parents. The infant had already lost life’s lottery by being born to a Mother who abandoned them and sent them away to live in another place. Good chance that the Grand Parents were not the kindest and most loving of individuals. So the infant losses again and possibly pays for such loss by developing a Personality Disorder which could prevent them from being able to establish and enjoy “Intimate and Loving” relationships.

Alice Miller has written a post on her site which ties a number of things together. Her post is titled: “The Ignorance or How we produce the Evil”. I’ll  have some quotes below, from that Alice Miller post.

Alice Miller wrote :

“Children who are given love, respect, understanding, kindness, and warmth will naturally develop different characteristics from those who experience neglect, contempt, violence or abuse, and never have anyone they can turn to for kindness and affection. Such absence of trust and love is a common denominator in the formative years of all the dictators I have studied. The result is that these children will tend to glorify the violence inflicted upon them and later to take advantage of every possible opportunity to exercise such violence, possibly on a gigantic scale. Children learn by imitation. Their bodies do not learn what we try to instill in them by words but what they have experienced physically. Battered, injured children will learn to batter and injure others; sheltered, respected children will learn to respect and protect those weaker than themselves. Children have nothing else to go on but their own experiences.

As Alice Miler stated “Children have nothing else to go on but their own experience”. If the infant child experienced Abandonment Trauma they they will not know how to Love someone. They will do to someone else, what had been done to to them. They will use them and abandon them.

Alice Miller also wrote :

The well-known American pediatrician Dr. Brazelton once filmed a group of mothers holding and feeding their babies, each in her own particular way. More than 20 years later he repeated the experiment with the women those babies had grown into and who now had babies themselves. Astoundingly, they all held their babies in exactly the same way as they had been held by their mothers, although of course they had no conscious memories from those early years. One of the things Braselton proved with this experiment was that we are influenced in our behavior by our unconscious memories. And those memories can be life affirming and affectionate or traumatic and destructive.”

It is my opinion, that It is not the Narcissist’s fault for developing such a Personality Disorder. It is up to you whether you want to get involved, in any kind of a relationship, with a Personality Disordered individual.

So recapping the two biggest and in my opinion most important Red Flags of a Narcissist. If you learn that the person was not raised by their Birth Mother that is IMHO the most important and biggest of all the Red Flags. Major issues with their Birth Mother is another confirming major Red Flag.

The more Red Flags that you can spot, the higher the probability that you are interacting with a Personality Disordered Individual.

Watch for the Red Flags.

Letting Go Of The Past – How To Get Over The Past In Minutes

Video courtesy of the Actualized.org YouTube channel

Repetitive and Chronic Trauma have a lasting impact. Victims develop Complex Trauma and Trauma Bonding can occur.

Complex Trauma: Understanding and Treatment

Video is courtesy of the FOCL Online YouTube channel

Quoting from the text which was posted with this video:

“Historically, when someone has experienced trauma that has a lasting impact, they have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). In recent years those who work with trauma victims have advocated for an additional category: Complex Trauma. Therapeutic work with those who have experienced either multiple traumas or Repetitive and Chronic Trauma”

In the video the presenter speaks about the abuse of Children and suffering multiple traumas. That the same Multiple Trauma Stress, can also “injure” an adult. For example, the victim of Narcissist Abuse becomes “marinated” in the Repetitive and Chronic Trauma.

Between the Traumatic Events will be “reward” type of events. The victim is cycled between reward and Trauma/Punishment events. That sets the Victim up for Trauma Bonding to occur. The emotional injuries alter the victim.

When one leaves an abusive relationship, the injuries do not disappear. Nor does the Trauma Bond break. The victim’s day will be filled with thoughts of the Abusive Narcissist.

The Victim will wonder if maybe the Narcissist was right and it was their own fault. The Narcissist would never admit to being at fault, always shifting the blame back to the Victim. There is an old saying that “If you tell people a “Lie” often enough, it becomes the “truth”.

Flashbacks are common.The inability to shut off the Flight or Fight response when a situation is not harmful. In my opinion, Complex Trauma can develop in both children and adults who have experienced Multiple Trauma or Repetitive and Chronic Trauma. I believe that Trauma Bonding can also be found in adult victims of abuse who have developed Complex Trauma.

 

The Psychopath’s Brain in a Nutshell. Dr Robin Kelly.

MRI Brain Scans of Psychopaths are helping in the Understanding of Psychopathy. Dr. Robin Kelly describes what Brain Scan research is showing us about the brains of Disordered individuals and giving disturbing insights into Psychopathy. Note that the findings also apply to other Cluster-B disordered Individuals such as Narcissist and Sociopaths.

Goodbye Psychopaths. 4. The Psychopath’s Brain in a Nutshell. Dr Robin Kelly.

Video is courtesy of the Robin Kelly YouTube channel

Click on this line to visit the website of Dr. Robin Kelly.

Click on this line to visit Amazon.com to learn about the book Titled “Healing Ways” by Dr. Robin Kelly.

When you have a good heart…Narcissists notice that

Quote "When you have a good heart; you help too much. You trust too much. You give too much. You love too much. Narcissists notice that and decide to use you. So you also get hurt too much." by uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

 

Quote “When you have a good heart; you help too much. You trust too much. You give too much. You love too much. Narcissists notice that and decide to use you. So you also get hurt too much.”

The above framed quote is actually a photo – JPG file.
Copyright 2016 https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com
Feel free to share under Creative Commons License with attribution to “Uniquely Narcissistic”

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Dr. Meagan Pugh presents “Healing from the Narcissistic Enchantment”

“Healing from the Narcissistic Enchantment”
“Reclaiming Self in the face of Annihilation”
by Dr. Meagan Pugh

Video is courtesy of the Recamft Director YouTube channel

Click on this line to visit the website run by Dr. Meagan Pugh called “Art to Heart”.

Click on this line to visit the “Art To Heart Counseling Services” Facebook page

Posted to uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

A Narcissist Loves you as much as a non-Narcissist would Love their Toaster

Quote " A ANrcissist Loves you, as much as a non-Narcissist would love their Toaster." by uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

Quote “A Narcissist Loves you, as much as a non-Narcissist would love their Toaster”

The above framed quote is actually a photo – JPG file.
Copyright 2016 https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com
Feel free to share under Creative Common License Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
UPDATE; May 15 2016 – redid

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Lisa Thomson offers 3 tips for those who go “No Contact” with the Narcissist

Going “Low Contact” to going “No Contact” is easy to write, but not so easy to do. Lisa Thomson‘s video offer some tips on the how and why of the process.

3 tips for going No Contact with the Narcissist

Video is courtesy of the Lisa Thomson YouTube channel

Lisa is also the author of helpful book. Click on this line to visit Amazon.com to learn more about her book Titled
The Great Escape: A Girl’s Guide To Leaving a Marriage

Click on this to visit Lisa Thomson’s website

Click on this line to learn more info about Lisa Thomson.

Click on this line to visit the Huffington Post website, where Lisa also blogs.

Posted to uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com

How to spot a narcissist next time round before it’s too late.

Being in a relationship with a Narcissist once is your life, is in my opinion one time too many.

This video presentation is from the heart by someone who sadly has been there and done that.

How to spot a narcissist next time round before it’s too late.

Quote below is from what was posted with the video on the Daylight out of Darkness YouTube channel :

So I’m not going to give you a list of things to look out for because I actually believe that doesn’t help at all.

I think the most important thing to do is start paying attention to your own feelings inside while you are with that person. to make sure that you are meeting your own needs first. to pay attention to how you feel in the company of this person and I’m not talking about the in love feeling. how much you enjoy all the other interactions with this person and how this person reacts when you are meeting you are needs first on an ongoing basis. also picked up on the energy this person is emitting and how it is influencing you.

On some occasions it’s going to take you a while to realize someone is narcissistic or dysfunctional, but you will notice it after a short while if you are paying attention to your own needs and feelings, and then you can move on with grace.

The more healed you are inside as far as your emotional wounds the less your chances of actually ending up in a serious relationship with a narcissist. that’s why focusing on yourself is the most important criteria when it comes to narcissists and abuse.

Unfortunately the narcissist is like water he just molds to whatever receptacle he is poured into so sometimes it’s near impossible to pick up his narcissism from a checklist.

You are going to have to rely on your internal gauge. I believe this is the most important tool to living a healthy happy life and staying away from these dysfunctional characters. Link below to Daylight out of Darkness, “Shop Front”:
http://daylightoutofdarkness.spreadsh…

Video is courtesy of the

Daylight out of Darkness YouTube channel

Click on this line to also visit the the Daylight out of Darkness Google Plus website.

Click on this line to visit the Daylight out of Darkness Facebook page.

Posted to https://uniquelynarcissistic.wordpress.com/
Permission was granted via a Creative Commons License to include the long Quote above into this post.

Narcissists and the User Mentality: Investing in a Manipulator by Savannah Grey

Narcissists and the User Mentality: Investing in a Manipulator

Posted by Savannah Grey
on http://esteemology.com

“It is the nature of the Narcissistic beast to gain at the expense of others. They are generally attracted to partners that have resources or something they admire, be it beauty, wealth, their career, connections, or intelligence. If a Narcissist can’t benefit from you in some way they will not invest any of their time or energy into knowing you and will likely dismiss you and hold you in contempt.”

SOURCE – to read the compete article by Savannah Grey click on the following link which will take you to her website called Esteemology.